Omg I am sick as a dog and have been up all night, and have to be on cam on Teams hosting assessment centres from 8:15am to 6pm. Torture!

Everyone on insta is getting AI to mockup a pic of themselves in a Met Gala outfit and every single one of them looks exactly the same. Log out everyone, you’re fried.

WHY is it still 5°c? It’s MAY. Enough of that now.

Imma BROKE BITCH got these Sun Glasses from the GAS STATION

I HAVE GRAPES

I really hate how everyone has just adopted the psychotic terminology of The Guy Who Bashes His Own Face In With A Hammer as just part of our every day cultural lexicon. Everyone heard this mentally unwell man talk and just started talking like him it's so weird.

Has anyone here ever had botox to stop grinding their teeth?

Soaking up a bit of sun on the balcony for my lunch break 😎

Tried getting a GP appointment this morning. Lines opened at 8:30am but have been on a meeting since 8am so couldn't call. Called just now and all appts have gone and 30 people in the queue to speak to the duty GP. Ufff.

I finally installed new brackets for the blinds in my bedrooms to move them away from the plants and stop them from catching on the windows when they're open. Can't believe they were installed the way they were. Tiny details feel so good to get right.

Soaking up a bit of sun on the balcony for my lunch break 😎

I really want to get into Guerrilla Gardening and go throw a bunch of wild flower seeds all over the patch of scrub land across the road from me where they've been saying they're going to build a new town for the last 20 years. I mean, if they're not going to build anything at least make it pretty.

I have never seen a suit fit anyone this good. And its LEATHER. The tie. The skinhead. This is exquisite.

I had a 3 day weekend and got a taste of that work-free life again and I WANT IT BACK.

I know almost ZERO about what's going on here, except that I heard that Justin basically planted a ton of bad press about her cos he was scared she was going to tell everyone how awful he was to work with. But honestly, I'm just glad we're not going to have to hear about this anymore.

I didn't think I had much of a busy morning today, but then at 11pm last night, someone booked a meeting into my diary for 10am.

Cleaned my windows today and it’s like they were boarded up before because they’re crystal clear now.

The big Palm had a big day. Months of struggles with fronds dying off and mealy bugs. Had to get it out the pot and see whats going on. Loads more mealy bugs on fronds, and a few rotten roots. Rather than hose it down, just chopped all of the growth away and binned it. Let’s see how it goes.

Next on the chopping block. Miss Jade. She needed reigning in. Looks like my neighbours are gonna get a lot of free cuttings today.

Chopped em. Good riddance tbh.

The plant girlies *LOVE* saying “chunky mix”.

Have you ever seen a plant looking so completely alien?! I think I have these on my planet in No Man’s Sky.

I think I’m gonna throw my Areca Palms out today because they’re too fussy and high drama. Constantly attracting bugs and giving brown crispy fronds despite regular watering. Hate throwing living plants out but I’m at my limit with these things. They just don’t belong in my living room.

Why are we giving public money to the American tech sector? Where's the support for our own home-grown talent? @zackpolanski.bsky.social @eddavey.libdems.org.uk #DigitalSovereignty

Honestly where the fuck do Mealy bugs come from???? I’ve had these plants nearly 2 years. They’ve been immaculate the whole time and out of nowhere there’s bugs? I don’t even have the windows and doors open. WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?

I don’t normally get hay fever. Only really suffered with it a couple of years in my life, and only when I lived in London but this year I am STRUGGLING.

Waking up at 6am on a Saturday when I don’t have kids or pets?

Worse… it is solely about making sure the British people do not realise how much money British arms manufacturers are making out of these genocides with full governmental support.

The other AI bullshit was a CV I read today that shared maybe a bit too much about one of the biggest financial institutions in the world and their alleged AI goals.

I've been dealing with a LOT of AI bullshit today and it's put me in a bad mood tbh. THREAD. HARRUMPH. Firstly, I got hoodwinked by AI Music on Instagram. They've been RAMMING the music ads at me the last few weeks. I really enjoy discovering new artists so always give them a listen.

I'm changing it up this year. #TeamJC

Just got asked to scan my face and verify my age to buy pants online. This is so fucking stupid.

Literally was told he had months to live and now he’s cancer free due to awesome science. Fantastic news and hopefully spotlights this research for more funding and gets it to other people who need it.

Mighty Hoopla is literally a month away and I can't believe it's come round this fast. I have a lot of outfit shopping to do.

Holy shit what a beautiful sunny day. Wish it were a bit warmer than 7ºc.

Oh lawdy they arrived and they’re soooo pretty! Their colours will develop as they mature and get sun exposure but I’m so happy with them.

As an engineering apprentice in the mid 90s I used to work with a lad that copied porn vids by setting up a video camera towards his tv. He brought one in to get passed around and on the screen was his reflection pleasuring himself. Didn't tell him and passed it on

Remember when Apple tried to make "Slofie" a thing?

This is probably gonna be a hot take, but the reason recruiters don't get back to you after interviews is because people can't handle rejection. The number of times I've let a candidate know they weren't successful and they've immediately started arguing with me and being shitty is too much.

People who just **don’t** accept meeting invites or send a response even if they’re attending?

I loathe that we’ve allowed the Microsoft Teams status to dictate what productivity looks like.

You know what? Actually. Tomato in burgers is a crime. Oh you wanted a big, thick, cold, wet, slice of slimey fruit with your beef patty and melted cheese??? JAIL.

Maybe it's because I'm in my 40s, maybe it's because I'm hyperfocussing on plants rn, but I just bought all of these rare pretties. Will I regret it? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nick Offerman remains one of the sexist men alive.

It’s always “safely evacuated” 😒 who is shooting?!? Helen Keller?!?

y’all have bad aim

She was shooting with her eyes closed and crying and still hit everybody like what are yall doing?!!

If you believe this wasn’t another PR stunt like the last one, I have a bridge to sell you. It’s all theater! Keep doing it, Donny! Hopefully a real one will get you between the eyes when you least expect it!

Ffs. The country who doesn’t fucking shut up about guns??? How do these guys keep MISSING??