The alarming thing is the news cycle moves so quickly you can mute a word for a week and the subject it relates to may never appear in your timeline again.

I managed to get out of my street today like a polar explorer of yore. I got to have afternoon tea with my friends and spend my book token. And then I got given another book token! Please note I have never before used the word yore.

BIG FIGHT AT POLAND’S WROCLAW ZOO!!!

anyone that didn't delete twitter 2 years ago when i did is morally lesser to me by exponential degrees

I wish I had a beloved penis bone

#SnowReport Keeper's Road from Abergavenny to Blaenavon. Nearly died.

Getting a lot more into gritting than strictly necessary gcgrp.co.uk/blog/grittin...

Hey everyone I found a piece of news today that isn't bad: english.kyodonews.net/articles/-/6... #CatSky

If my birthday afternoon tea gets cancelled tomorrow it won't be due to lack of effort on my part. I need one of those cool nicknames like the gritting lorries have.

Mae hen wlad fy nhadau

Just waiting for the bookshop to open so I can spend my @nationalbooktokens.bsky.social Honest

We should just send Danny Dyer in.

🎶I bet you think this post is about you, don't you?🎶

Going to stick my neck out and say no.

I miss Pluribus.

Same as it ever was.

I just want a subwoofer that can hit the resonance frequency needed to liquefy all my organs and bones, is that too much to ask

I have the words "Platty Joobs" stuck in my head today. But in a silly voice, like "PLAAAATTTYYY JOOOOOOOOBBBBSSS" You're welcome

On Monday one of my colleagues came back from 3 weeks leave and said he was not looking forward to retirement because he was bored just in that 3 weeks. This is the most incorrect thing I have ever heard anyone say.

I thought this was my forever home but circumstances have sadly changed 💔 I need a quick sale. Please enquire www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/1...

IT'S WEDNESDAY! It's #buyastrangerabook day! The grooviest of all the days. I'll give out TWO books. FOR FREE. If you'd like one, let me know. Also, if you'd like to #BuyAStrangerABook too, let me know. It's a thing! Look. www.biggreenbookshop.com/stuff-you-mi... UK only.

an incredible window from the Church of St John in Whitbourne, Herefordshire

Had to be done.

Lot of horn chat on my timeline today. I am here for it.

Pink prosecco to end this birthday day #50AndFabulous

Discovered today that my 24 year old nephew has gallstones. Probably caused by him using Mounjaro to lose weight. That he took because he was going travelling and he had to leave Thailand to come home because he has gallstones. There's probably a lesson here.

Bad Luck Cutie

Quite happy to go with the elves at this point tbh.

My birthday breakfast. (I don't like eggs, tomatoes or beans before anyone starts)

The robin who came to say hello to me on this, my birthday 🎂

Having a birthday breakfast with my folks and a little robin is flying around in the cafe. He's very cute.

It me.

Oh fucking hell, it's not a mouse it's a bird

I am trying to get ready to leave the house to go into the office for a meeting and the bloody cat has a live mouse under my bed.

-2C by the Union Canal in Edinburgh. Only a swan could fall through broken ice so gracefully. 🦢

This poem is dedicated to anyone heading back into work and having to endure dull conversation about what they got up to during the Christmas holidays.

The teen's school is shut today as the heating has broken down. Brand new building. Only opened last Easter.

"She leaves no immediate survivors" sounds like a threat I can get on board with. June was a beast.

I love it when people say "With all due respect..." because you know they fucking hate you and do not respect you in the slightest.

It must be borne in mind that all this time we have a Sperm Whale’s prodigious head hanging to the Pequod’s side.

The snow in Aberdeen is almost the height of a miniature dachshund

I love Pottery Throwdown.

For *reasons* doing the bins has just become an even more hated job than it was before.

There are things that need to be done today and apparently I am the one to do them. This is a travesty.

I think we all need a timeline cleanse right now…. An adorable #Greek rhyton in the shape of a #cow's head. Vessels such as this one were used in drinking parties. Since they didn't have a base, their contents had to be consumed before the vessel could be put down Dating ca. 460 BC. 🧵1/2 🏺

Went to boarding school. Wasn't allowed to watch TV.

It's snowing #SnowReport

What just happened ... Comedy: Jamie Kaler