One more bit of @ericidle.bsky.social & Neil Innes RUTLAND WEEKEND TELEVISION brilliance, from the end of the show's first series (season for us Yanks)... THIS is how you wrap a run of episodes...

The hill I will die on is that George was the best Beatle.

everyone stop and take a moment to appreciate how pyramidal my mom's cat is

A snake crawled out of the grass. “If Toad looks funny in his bathing suit,” said the snake, “then I, for one, want to see him.”

New body swap rules. You can swap bodies but only with someone who has the same first name as you. I am taking Emma Watson. I was going to take Emma Thompson, but Watson is younger.

Carol's a dick

Never forget. Trevor from EastEnders finest moment uk.news.yahoo.com/sky-original...

Whenever I gigged in Rhyl (at the theatre across from where John Prescott punched that man), I always made sure to pick up a copy of their local paper, The Rhyl Journal, for every edition was guaranteed to feature a story that was absolutely WILD! Here are three fine examples. FYI: The dog was ok.

I need some tea from this pot

We are phasing out the terms “extant” and “extinct” from our exhibits and will now refer to species as either “Darwinners" or “Darlosers.”

Preach

the bluesky movie

They should ask this about every movie. Why isn’t Pennywise in Nights in Rodanthe with Richard Gere and Diane Lane?

Turns out my two wolves are one wolf that would very much like me to be having sex occasionally, the other wolf is fighting off horny teenage boys attempting to deflower my daughter.

Currently embroiled in a conversation with the teen that would make an FBI hostage negotiator weep.

I really need someone to explain the gong to me.

It seems like every day you see a koala should be a good day. Unless you are menopausal, in which case, the mood swings are real and now I am catastrophising and sad. Anyway. Have a koala.

Does this mean I am a deep sea fish? 🤔

Scrap that, started again

It has actually stopped raining.

I am just gonna say it... I do not get the fuss about Robyn.

I’m back. substack.com/@sarahkendzi...

Red Welly by name, Red Welly by nature.

There is a little boy in the Longleat cafe who is delighted to be missing his spelling test today. His mum: Spell hippopotamus Little boy: Spell whatever 😂

In fact we saw a little bit TOO MUCH of one monkey couple, who indulged in some afternoon delight on my windscreen, right in front of my face.

The animals are NOT sensible and we actually saw all of them

slightly obsessed about the end of this lady's effigy tomb with the voluminous folds of her dress and petite heeled shoes

We made it! Weather not great, but not terrible (yet) either. Got my red wellies to put on for the walking round once we have been through the safari.

When your calendar clearly shows "Do Not Disturb" from 8am-2am but somehow someone still comes to ask you a stupid question 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums Gerda Wegener's "Reclining Nude (Lili Elbe)" 1929 😁

NUTRITIONISTS: you are what you eat ME, LOOKING IN THE MIRROR:

All the good thoughts today people as the May version of me, who booked tickets for Longleat today, sets off on an epic journey in pissing rain to see empty enclosures as the animals sensibly stay inside.

I have really vivid dreams and sometimes it takes me a while to decompress because they feel very real. Anyway, last night I got arrested for drunk driving and I would like to tell the imaginary cop to fuck off. She was really mean.

Would read

Why are teenagers?

I just watched a comedian talk about how, when he was younger, screwing women in their 20s was fake orgasms but screwing women in their 40s was a skill check and a LESSON because they don't do that shit anymore and... yeah. That tracks.

Very true

We're so close to having the ultimate vehicle on our roads

I can haz some chaos with Ed Miliband? As a treat?

Freddie Mercury and Montserrat Caballé

Am up to six so far. Thought I couldn't find all the clues, then realised the girl on the chair is about four different books.

Booklovers, your favourite game is back! 📚🔎 Guess all 20 books in the #HiddenBooksGame and you could win a £500/€500 National Book Token to spend in your local bookshop (the best gift ever, in our opinion). Play now: buff.ly/460M0aR

Happy Fenton Day to all who celebrate. Jesus Christ, fourteen years. youtu.be/3GRSbr0EYYU

Idly wondering how much @stephenking.bsky.social contributed to people developing a phobia of clowns with the invention of Pennywise. I want facts, people, facts.

For anyone who knows that a visit from a robin brings the spirit of a departed loved one close, here is a garden icon with that in mind.

Nadine and the Swimming Lesson

Speaks volumes that this guy dressed his robot as a French maid when it's about as sexy as a Roomba.

This is absolute bollocks

It's (almost) the most wonderful time of the year! 🥳🎶 #HiddenBooksGame