Help, help! I'm trapped in a *reads the museum panel* Cameo; onyx; irregular form; imperfect; mounted in enamelled gold pendant frame set with single garnet, 16th century, in an early 17th century frame! Heeeeeeeeelp! 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums From the British Museum 😊

When you turn to see if he's looking back at you, and you see he's turned to see if you're looking back at him 🥰 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums "Two Nude Figures seen from Behind", 1756, by Bartolomeo Crivellari, from @metmuseum.org 😁

When it's your turn to bring the towels to the woodland glade, and you quickly realise you didn't bring anywhere near enough 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums "Bathers at Moritzburg", 1909-26, by Ernst Ludwig Kirchner, at the Tate Modern

Think of your favourite hand-painted movie poster, and it was probably done by Renato Cassaro. He did Conan, Dune, Terminator, Flash Gordon, Neverending Story etc etc 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums This is the alternative poster art for "The Sheltering Sky" (Schirokko), 1990 😊

A plaster cast of Michelangelo's "David" was given to Queen Victoria in 1856 by The Grand Duke of Tuscany, Leopold II. Flustered by David having all his bits out, she promptly regifted it to the V&A and got him a figleaf made to cover up! 😱 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums (This one is the real David in Florence 😁)

Considére la banane 👍🏛️🍌 #MuseumBums We went to @tate.bsky.social Modern yesterday. It was all a bit abstract 😁 "The uncertainty of the poet" 1913, by Giorgio de Chirico

Went to Hay Castle yesterday and saw @museumbums.bsky.social finest work

The @nhm-london.bsky.social 's human evolution exhibition, includes models of a neanderthal and homosapien looking at each other, like dads comparing barbecue-ing techniques 🥰👍🏛️🍑🍖 #MuseumBums Thanks @thelabandfield.bsky.social for directing us to the rare humanish bums in a natural history museum ❤️

When the holepunch is stuck, and everyone has to have a go at fixing it 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums "The Mechanics Monument", unveiled in 1901, sculpted by Douglas Tilden, at Market, Bush, and Battery Streets in San Francisco 😁 Thanks @monstrousjaffa.bsky.social and @agreeableuser.bsky.social for sharing!

You know those photos from messy nights out that look like art? Here's an art that looks like a messy night out! 😁👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums The Drunken Faun, 1826, by John Hogan, from @crawfordartgallery.bsky.social 😁

Hi Devil? Yeah, we love the energy, keep it there. One note, it says smited, not smitten... you're giving smitten... Ok? Ok 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums Archangel Michael smiting the Devil, Luisa Roldan, 1692, originally in Basilica of San Lorenzo de El Escorial, now at Galería de las Colleciones Reales, Madrid

The British royal family acquired ~600 Da Vinci artworks in the 17th century from Thomas Howard, "the collector earl". It's the largest Da Vinci collection in the world! 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums "Man seen from Behind", c1508, by Leonardo Da Vinci, held in the Royal Collection Trust

A glorious before and after pair from the restoration of the Ross Fountain in Edinburgh in 2018 (gold is before, green swags is after 😉) 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums We love a good well-executed council-funded, restoration! Thanks @baldiepete.bsky.social for sharing 😁

We know we posted a Duncan Grant recently, but we're big Duncan Grant fans! Can you blame us?? 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums "Reclining Male Nude", 1949, by Duncan Grant, from the @ashmoleanmuseum.bsky.social collection 😁

Even demigods don't skip leg day 👀🍑 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums "Young Beardless Herakles", by Polykeleitos, a Roman copy of a 5th c BCE original, at Museo Nazionale Rome Thanks @antonio_explores for sharing 😁

When your partner opens the bedroom curtains unexpectedly, and you're just not ready for daylight yet 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums Duncan Grant's "Nude Woman", c1913, from the V&A 😁

Our book has a chapter "Beach Bums" specifically for when it's been drizzly 4 days in a row. You can teleport to a hot summer, the scent of SPF50 on the gentle breeze 🌞 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums Henry Scott Tuke's "Lovers of the Sun", 1923 😁 Here's your ticket to summer: uk.bookshop.org/p/books/muse...

When your alarm drags you out of optimum cuddliness, and now you have to confront things like reality and consciousness 😭 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums A newly rediscovered "Three Graces" from Sebasteion, Aphrodisias, Turkey Thanks @_byarchaeolover_ for sharing 😁

We just love his sassy little pose 😍 He looks like he's about to spread the most malicious rumours, just because he thinks it's a boring party 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums One of the Riace Bronzes, cast c450 BCE in Greece, and rediscovered in 1972, now at the Museo Nazionale della Magna Grecia

Ivor the Blaenavon Big Pit National Mining Museum Mannequin had spent a long day down the museum, and was looking forward to a good scrub in the Blaenavon Big Pit National Mining Museum communal showers 👍🏛️🍑🛀 #MuseumBums The baths at Big Pit NMM, Wales Thanks @brownsignbritain for sharing 😁

Any historians out there know *why* there was a Venus statue in the middle of the Monkey House at Alexandra Palace in c1906? 🤔 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums Thanks @allypallymuseum for sharing 😁

Happy Book Birthday! 2 yrs ago our book hit the shelves, & we've had a mindblowingly fantastic time since! 👍🏛️🍑🎂 #MuseumBums Following our Traditional Chinese edition last year, in early 2026 we're getting new language editions! Oooooh! ⁉️‼️💖 uk.bookshop.org/p/books/muse... (we make a great gift 😉)

It's funny how the very first sin was about a woman who ate, woman who ate. Call her mother, the house down boots, Gaaaaawd 💃 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums Jack's doing his #LGBTQIA tour of Bristol Museum again today, give us a wave if you see him 😁🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ Eve, by Edward Hodges Baily, 1822, at Bristol Museum

*record scratch* *looks to camera* so, you're probably wondering how I ended up here... 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums The Olympian Gods with Hercules and the Muses, by Jacopo Zucchi, c1576, from @uffizigalleries 😁

When this statue of Apollo was first unveiled in 1956, some of the people of Nice were unhappy about the size of Apollo's manhood (too large), so sculptor Alfred Janniot chiseled a reduction to try and satisfy them 😳 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums Thanks @beards.magazine for sharing 😁

#TodayInQueerHistory September 10 (1926) Today I want to celebrate an artist that I (and as @museumbums.bsky.social) am very fond of: Beryl Cook who was born #OTD. Beryl was an ally, painting joy from her local queer venue, the Lockyer Tavern. She depicted our joy, shared by her queer friends.

What're your plans for later? Oh, I was just going to pose absolutely deliciously with nothing but a bolt of fabric, you? 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums An 18th C cameo, carved by Giuseppe Girometti in Rome, now at the @britishmuseum.bsky.social 😁

Oooh, a sensual and sultry #MuseumBums today 👍🏛️🍑 George Hoyningen-Heune's "Male Nude", 1927, from the Art Alba Gallery 😁

Part of the permanent exhibition at @queerbritain.bsky.social, this poster advocates for safe sex to diminish the spread of HIV AIDS #MuseumBums 😁 Queer Britain is the only dedicated permanent queer museum in the UK, it's free to visit but every little helps!👍🏛️🍑🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

When you did have plans for Sunday, but oh no, heavy rain and thunderstorms all day, we'll have to go read in bed.... 🤷‍♂️ 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums "Nue Couchèe (Reclining Nude)", nd, by Charles Emile Egli, at the V&A 😁

There are some lovely bums in our book. You should check them out 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums uk.bookshop.org/p/books/muse... 😁

Sarah-Jane McCarthy's work is GLORIOUS, and it's about WOMANHOOD and IDENTITY and EXPLORATION! 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums And you should go see the exhibition at Kit Form 37, in Jamaica Street Studios, #Bristol right now 😁

When the Kylie songs just keep coming, banger after banger 🎵 #MuseumBums 👍🏛️🍑 "Bronze statuette of a dancing youth", 4th c BCE, Greek, now at the @metmuseum.org 😁

Someone's coming! Act natural! *folds arms, crosses legs, whistles a jaunty tune* 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums "Alexander Jensen Yow", 1950, by George Platt Lynes, exhibited earlier this year at the V&A as part of Elton John's photography collection 😁

When you both need the loo, but you don't want to miss any of the gossip 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums A crop from "Netherlandish Proverbs (The Blue Cloak)", 1559, by Pieter Brueghel the Elder, now at Gemäldegalerie Berlin 😁

An important reminder for a Monday morning: don't work too hard, management will just reward you with more work 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums Sisyphus, doomed to forever roll his boulder up a mountain, on a 510BCE amphora from Greece, now at the British Museum

When you've still got an hour on the clock as the fountain statue, but you're regretting your cavalier decision not to have a safety wee before you started 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums "Andromeda", by John Bell at Osborne House, 1851 Thanks @ladybirduk.bsky.social for sharing 😁

Happy Leicester Pride! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍🩷🩵 Check out @stnicholasleics.bsky.social 's queer zine for some "Church Bums" contributed by yours truly 😁👍⛪🍑 #MuseumBums

When you can't see over the crowd, so you just streeeeeetch your neck 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums Monomento de Fado a Coimbra, by Celestino Alves Andre, 2013, in Coimbra, Portugal 🇵🇹 Thanks Mrs Persaud (Mark's year 2 teaching assistant who stayed friends with his Mum) for sharing 😁

Mark and Jack are running the 2025 Athens Marathon, fundraising for two charities 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums Mark's charity is @switchboard.bsky.social, the national LGBT+ mental health helpline www.justgiving.com/page/keep-ru... Here's Pheidippides by Jean-Pierre Cortot, 1834, at @louvrelens.bsky.social

Jack and Mark are running the 2025 Athens Marathon, and fundraising for two charities 👍🏛️🍑 Jack's charity is Freedom Youth, which has supported LGBTQIA+ young people since 1995 www.justgiving.com/page/jack-sh... Here's Pheidippides completing the first ever marathon, by Luc-Oliver Merson, 1869 😁

Oh hello! Is this some new "Church Bums" content from Museum Bums?? 😱 Get yourselves down to Leicester Pride this weekend and say hi to the excellent folk at St Nick's Church, and you'll get a free (beautiful!) zine 😁👍🏛️🍑

Remember gang, it's the same rule for museum objects and artworks as it is for people: no touching without consent! 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums Gaston Lachaise' "Standing Woman", 1932, undergoing some conservation work at @moma.bsky.social 😁

What am I up to? Oh, I'm super busy, flat out, wall-to-wall meetings... 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums "The Inventor of Sails", 1877, by Frederick Smallfield

Happy August Bank Holiday to all those who celebrate. You'd better get some good relaxing in because it's the last one til Christmas!! 😱 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums "Recumbent Bacchante", c1834, by Lorenzo Bartolini, from Chatsworth House. Thanks @jdk653.bsky.social for sharing 😁

Hey squid, is that boat really small? Or really far away? 🤔 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums Poseidon at the Lighthouse of Saint Jean Cap Ferrat. (It's impossible to find the creator of this artwork online! If anyone knows, please be forthcoming 😁) Thanks @bernarddonoghue.bsky.social for sharing 🥰

"Honey, do you know where the clingfilm is?" "..... No ..... " 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums "Diana leaving her Bath", 1893 Guillaume Dubufe Thanks @notbeforenoon.bsky.social for sharing 😁

"Duckbum?? Who are you calling Duckbum!?" *waddles off furiously* 👍🏛️🍑 "Torso", 1981, by Donald Locke, at Spike Island gallery, Bristol 😁

When your patron commissions a statue of Mercury "with a large package" 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums The statues on this bridge in Lübeck, Germany are a mix of 18th C from an earlier bridge, and 20th C remakes. The older sculptures were made by Dietrich Jürgen Boy Thanks @linguistic.bsky.social for sharing 😁

When you're stuck at the bus stop, waiting for your connection to fight the Achaeans 👍🏛️🍑 #MuseumBums Paris, 1824, by John Gibson, from Perth Art Gallery Thanks @tlgould for sharing 😁