Made an extremely mid pot of soup using a recipe from the grocery store circular and only dirtied every pot in my kitchen doing it

Definitely just gonna stay put for Thanksgiving this year

Packing the Court isn’t enough, they need to give Justice Jackson a gun

your honor, it was a bit

great day for the legal theory of "not guilty if it's funny enough"

The one thing my grandma got truly emotional about when we decided to record her life story was learning, after retirement, that she'd been paid half as much as her male colleagues at the insurance company where she was the first female district manager

These days rhabdomyolysis is usually associated with Crossfit. Mr Gamboa was not doing Crossfit. The other ways to get it imply some really, REALLY bad stuff going on in those facilities.

Oh great more of these cookie cutter luxury units for textilebros

#birdbot

It’s the yellowest town in Texas

"Beefy suckers"

Wow if Zohran can do that, maybe I, a fellow Millennial, can also run for office (immediately has emotional breakdown attempting to organize a potluck)

I can confirm that this is EXACTLY where you find the grannies who are prepared for revolutionary violence

Hell yeah

Jay Jones definitely the funniest win of the night

Every time I return my bikeshare bike I get a text confirming the end of my ride, and every time I forget that this is supposed to happen and go "ooh! A text!"

Why would you brand your carpet protectors like this

Realizing for the first time that he was under 70 for the duration of the Bush admin. That can't be right

I know there's a lot going on right now but I think we could be pissing on Dick Cheney's grave a little harder

👇 happening in DC

Didn't get furloughed, only got my hours cut ✌️

If someone had four lines in a single episode of 30 Rock that's what they're from, to me. Don't care if they went on to star in a series of billion-dollar Marvel movies. That's Dealbreaker Talk Show Audience Member #3

Coming through! Important ptarmigan stuff to do! #birds 🌿

Supposed to get an email by the end of the day to find out if I've been furloughed. I work in retail, the DC economy is just that bad rn

I follow like 1000 people from several totally unrelated communities and they're all talking about baseball right now, lol

All the thinkpieces about Bluesky don't account for the fact that it's occasionally 100% wall-to-wall baseball on here

Just watched "Night of the Reaper." Gotta love a slasher that passes the Bechdel test

i think we should show a little more gratitude for artificial preservatives. food not going bad so quickly rocks

the wokes down at the NTSB don’t want you to have any more Edmund Fitzgeralds

Our mail carrier brought her kids to trick-or-treat at our house and introduced herself last night so we gave her a white claw. Gotta ensure that quality service

Emo about this. Taco John's is a treat when you live in Iowa and can't be going out to restaurants much. I know conservative assholes -- the same people who need to get Jesus out of their mouths -- are gonna be crashing this for their TikToks but whatever. Telling on themselves. Taco John's forever

Last night, the National Guard chased children who were out enjoying Halloween in Navy Yard. There is no valid reason for armed soldiers to terrorize children like this. End Trump’s occupation of DC. National Guard out NOW.

I do not celebrate All Hallows. Some of you hallows are very stupid.

I gotta get to Midway to catch a flight to the Vatican

I love it when Chris Farley temporarily possesses people.

Tearing out vintage bathroom tile is THE cardinal sin in some of the corners of the internet I spend time in. This is how he loses fence-sitting r/homedecorating users

Unfair that I have to work on the same day that our nation's zoos are posting Instagram videos of wombats eating pumpkins

I'm da Chicago pope!

This chair is in a cemetery in the town where I went to college. Supposedly if you sit in it at midnight an undead hand will pop out of the ground and grab you (didn't work for me)

Back in my day, AI used to stand for Adobe Illustrator! And we hated that, too!

A single surviving dictionary from the 14th-century Ottoman Empire in a mysterious constructed language might be the most Borgesian artifact to exist irl en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balaiba...

i think if you ride public transit enough you learn that most weird behavior is not dangerous, and conversely i think driving a car teaches you that everyone is trying to kill you at all times

One of the more important reasons to read US history is to see how right-wing rhetoric has only barely been updated since the slaveholder era, and is frequently verbatim what segregationist sheriffs were saying in 1963

I want to talk about how good the article for the squash/pumpkin genus Cucurbita is. It was a featured article 10 years ago and continues to be one of the best articles about a group of plants. And I didn't do this. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cucurbita

In my experience there are few things that make people angrier than "your good deed is not very helpful." People tie up so much of their self-worth in their charitable projects that they become viciously defensive of them. We all need to get better at accepting feedback on this stuff.

Back in 2022 I did a couple of shifts at my local resettlement center sorting through donations for Afghan refugees. They put out a call for volunteers bc people had dropped off so much stuff it wouldn't fit in the building. Why was I sorting through boxes of CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS?

Verdict: not a flavor you typically expect in a candy but very good

So Long, ‘Six Seven!’ Meet The Dark Entity Behind Latest Youth Meme Phrase ‘He Must Feed’