How do I get the Discover feed to show me all the photos of actual dogs and none of the posts from people who identify as dogs in a sexual way? Please, do anything you want with your life but I would like a lot fewer details about it.

Young people seeing my Blu-ray collection & going "I love movies too, I have all the Harry Potters" & oh honey

Pour one out for the kidnapped musicology duck

Cat wandered in front of the camera during the #aurora long exposure

Jack heard it was Zoom Monday

The self-checkout helper at Costco was a real asshole to me & my friend yesterday, which was a complete shock because over several decades I've never even seen a Costco employee in a bad mood.

And then the saddest boy in the whole world got everything he wanted but he was still sad because nobody really loved him & he continued making it everyone else's problem.

I loved making minis but book nooks broke me. You glue down one thing at slightly the wrong angle and nothing fits after that. My hat is off to the people who do them this well!

Accidentally hit the mic on my phone last night & searched for "do you remember the name of that ouch what the hey stop biting me"

If this rhino & dik-dik can play together without hurting anyone, surely my dog can figure out how to get his shit together with my cats

Strongly encourage anyone who enjoyed LEGION (the book) & EXORCIST III (the movie) to check out Arrow's box set, it includes a cut of the film Blatty had wanted to make. Pieced together from the VHS dailies like patchwork but the plot makes so much more sense!

My sweet girl is not doing very well. She's nearly 15 and lost her lifelong best friend in November. It is so understandable if she's ready to go but I don't think I'll ever be ready to lose her.

I don't know why there is always so much pizza on my Discover feed, but it's working. You guys have me wanting pizza 24/7.

"I wish all I had to do was make dinner" well talk to me after constantly having to think about it every day for 30 years, let me know how much fun you're having. Careful what you wish for, foolish spouses of Earth.

Been considering hemlock but this sounds like more fun

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

According to MAGA, Renee Good, just sitting in her car, is a domestic terrorist, but Kyle Rittenhouse, shooting strangers in the street with an assault weapon, is not. These people are such shameless, twisted liars.

Not me sprinting out of WEAPONS to pee at hyperspeed & then sprinting back while mowing down small children & raining spilled popcorn in my wake

Guess I'm finishing my rewatch alone, Mr. Kayak has agreed that it's excellent but it makes him too sad.

Everything is awful, here's a cute dog to cheer you up

Back in 2016 a really creative & amazing show called STRANGER THINGS dropped, seemingly out of nowhere, & the world was transfixed. I couldn't wait to see what the Duffer Brothers would do next.

How do you even handle it when you're so angry with your dog that even the other pets (including the one he attacked) are like "get a hold of yourself lady, its not that big a deal"

Morning walk, taking note of which houses have used fireworks in the driveway. If the dog poops in one of those yards, I'll just leave it. As a little thank-you for scaring the shit out of him all night 🧨🎇💩

Since the new dog has already tripled my daily steps, might as well get a medal for it (in January 2027) from The Conqueror Challenges!

Happy Semi-Annual Night of Terrified Dogs to all who celebrate 🧨🎇

Timezones are so weird. Australia is in 2026, Canada is in 2025, and the United States is in 1939.

Oh he's cute but a psycho, a little bit psycho, at night he's singing ah na na, ah na na

Listen, and this is aimed at all genders: Cleaning the house because you expect company and then the company cancelling is one of the greatest joys in life. Now you have a clean home and a peaceful evening. That's your reward!

When my annual Paramount subscription expires, I'm replacing it with a monthly gift to Shriners Childrens. Those kids in the ads are so heckin cute & they give me so much joy that it isn't fair not to pay them.

One of my favorite shows of all time, and yet. I have no reason to believe this will be what anybody wants, even if it does get made. I'll go to my grave insisting that the extra seasons of Arrested Development don't exist.

I have a ridiculously broad definition of a sandwich, hotdog? Sure. Taco? Yep. Pizza? Indubitably. Spaghetti bolognaise? Why that’s just a meatball marinara with boiled bread. Bangers and mash? Sure, why not. Even beer is bread, so fuck it. Everything is sandwich.

Thank you for your attention to this manor.

Why would I follow back an account that only reposts the same political content we see over & over & over on this website? Why would anybody?

I have seen the screenshot of Trump's "Christmas" message posted way too many times today. It's Christmas. Hug a loved one, pet a dog, take a nap, watch a movie, whatever you gotta do. Just gift yourself one friggin day of peace from him & his endless rage-inducing bullshit.

Hands down the worst movie Michelle Pfeiffer has ever done, and I've seen Grease 2 approximately 950 times.

@hardcorelore.bsky.social looks like the beast is staying. He has very nice manners with our other dog & is learning how to be calm with us. Still a bastard with the cats but we're working on it. He seems to only answer to "Jack."

Watch Welcome to Derry they said, you'll definitely be able to get the theme song out of your head, they said

I think the thing that keeps driving me crazy is these guys acting like they're entitled to respect and friendliness after a decade of hearing the same people tell all of us we're not entitled to a god damn thing and they'd like it if we were dead.

If Jared Goff & Amon-Ra St Brown would pose like this, it would be on every Christmas card in Michigan for the next 8 years

Mr. Crazy Dog is off getting neutered today so the cats finally have the run of the house. So what better place than the one room they've been cooped up in all week.

Rob Reiner either made your favorite movie, or made somebody you know’s favorite movie. If you’re a Californian, he’s also part of the reason you or your friends can get married. He has changed more lives for the better than this asshole commenting on him ever did.

Feeling really weird as a person who has had a bad week & has never known a world without Rob Reiner

Not me buying every slight upgrade to CABIN IN THE WOODS so many times that now I have my favorite 4K slipcover over a different 4K steelbook

Dear Google, when someone clicks on a link called "Livvy Dunne on the cover of Maxim" they are NOT looking for an AI summary.

We do not play any kind of Elf On The Shelf games at River Side Casino. If you see an elf watching you, get the fuck out of there!

This gorgeous boy is coming over to check out my house tomorrow, if he likes it he will be invited to stay. Forever and ever and ever ❤️

What if they just meant that it was the 90,210th version of Star Trek