I want Jim Belushi & Tom Arnold to stand in front of a group of 25 yr olds & make them guess what they're famous for.

Meanwhile at my house, you guys are lucky if I take the tape off the box of pre-cut watermelon chunks

I don't really understand what's going on with the World Cup but everyone seemed to be having such a good time before you-know-who got involved

Oh my god, I never turn the sound on but this is beyond gold

Someone who was once one of my favorite political analysts had staunchly defended Platner. I gave up arguing, thinking eventually he would see for himself. I looked him up today for his reaction & he has deleted his Bluesky account, lol.

Proof that being conservative gives you wrinkles, no one in this Youth Club is over the age of 14

Would it be nice? Would it?

happy 4th of July

Celebrating July 4th is like throwing a birthday party for a hostage.

This is why I always want to support VS, Frank LaLoggia made a beautiful film that not nearly enough people got to see. LADY IN WHITE deserves to be celebrated with this meticulous restoration & incredible box set packed with zillions of extras! BE COOL & BUY A COPY RIGHT NOW

A quick summary of the film BIOSPHERE starring Mark Duplass & Sterling K Brown:

Respectfully, not even a little surprised. They've been stripping away the right to control our own uteruses for years. I don't know whether we'll lose birth control (which I would have died without) or voting rights will be next, but it will eventually be both.

The exact day I'm having, minus the professional diagnosis

Me age 5-53: haha awww Snoopy 🥰 Me today: wait vultures don't have victims

I've seen more people wandering around while the Weather Channel is doing live shots of an active hurricane

Supportive.

I grew up in the 70s/80s in Michigan with no AC, cars didn't have it either. Absolute misery. Indoor malls were such a thing because it was a cheap way to get out of the heat. Movie theaters too; who cares what's playing, it's 2 hours of refreshing AC.

I don’t know who the guy on the right is, but that’s Pastor Dutchie on the left hand side.

🤫 - Don't talk human, I'm making biscuits.

It's really weird how cis people are ok talking about our right to exist as we're some kind of option for how the world works. We're still going to exist. And personally I don't care if a bunch of privileged cis people cry over it.

Pre World Cup: why are Americans so fat? Post World Cup: mates, have you tried dipping your Popeyes in ranch?

Fun part about being nearsighted with clear-framed glasses: trying to figure out where you put them after looking at something on your phone

When you refer to the Democratic Party, are you referring to the infrastructure controlled by the DNC and DSCC? Or are you referring to the people who have been holding their nose and voting for triangulating focus group tested candidates for their entire adult lives.

Also pro tip when lots and lots of normies say they support moderate sensible policies they are talking about Medicare for all and ending wars and ending poverty and protecting the environment, which in any sensible world is a no-brainer stance that shouldn’t be considered radical

Ooh, I voted for "give the land back to the indigenous people it belongs to & provide funding to let them destroy the current version in any way they see fit"

My most leftist opinion is that we shouldn't carve left wing figures into a Native American holy sight are you fucking crazy? Like not even metaphorically in a parallel pretend America would this be a good idea wtf

Walking my dog at 5am, hadn't looked at my phone in 6 hours, thinking "wow today could already be the day & I don't even know it yet" Sadly, not yet.

We have had moderates. We've had so many moderates. We've done nothing but moderate and compromise and contort ourselves to try and come to accords with fascists. The democratic party has been throwing out moderates as the solution to a radicalizing GOP the entire time. It hasn't worked.

i do not need to attend every argument i am invited to. i do not need to explain myself to people committed to misunderstanding me. i am allowed to be happy anyway. everyone say it with me!!!

Exit 69 off I-75! Sadly the Hooters right off the exit has closed & is now an Italian restaurant

Someday I will spend a thunderstorm doing something besides comforting a terrified dog

I don't think McDonald's should use "Steal My Sunshine" in their breakfast ads unless they're selling butter tarts

I don't think McDonald's should use "Steal My Sunshine" in their breakfast ads unless they're selling butter tarts

Bring some veal & pâté fois gras to your local vegan restaurant as a warmup, to see if you're ready

Happy 0 day anniversary to me just now learning that's Alfred Molina, in a movie I've been watching for 45 years. (holds earpiece) Wait a minute we are also being told he was in LADYHAWKE which I saw 30 bazillion times & never had a clue he was in it.

"Health experts" say you shouldn't consume too much alcohol, weed, & frozen pizza. But I have for years & I'm still alive, here's why you should feed it to your children.

When you wake up to find your rescue dog has elected to sleep next to you for the first time 🥹

Average life expectancy before pasteurization was 40 years old, skewed by the fact that 40% of children did not live past age 5

Happy birthday, weirdo (complimentary)! In a sea of political unrest, you are a beacon of dry one-liners & I am forever grateful 🎂

Happy Pride Month, ya peckers

Ms Rachel went to Delaney Hall

Innuendo aside, I never pass up an opportunity to scribble a Hitler mustache on Tom Brady's pic at the grocery store

As an act of solidarity, it's time for my fellow invisible middle-aged ladies to exclusively use the men's restroom when in public. Cmon GenX, we all did it at concerts, what's the big deal? Report back to me if anyone even notices, I'm testing a theory.

To my Pride folks. You are loved. There ain't no other you. You are so fierce you got these wockaflockas shook and whatnot. Go on with yo' bad selves.

I really hope in my lifetime we can go back to making racism something to be ashamed of again, rather than something that’ll get you a regular slot on rolling news.

I alternate between Shame Month & Guilt Month. On leap years they overlap. Happy Pride to those who celebrate though!

Busting out the ouija board because it's time for Michael Landon to come back & show em

This is so delightful even with the sound off!! (which is the only way I'll ever watch anything on my phone, don't try to change me)

I’ve never connected The Chicks getting cancelled for opposing the Iraq War to the rise of bro country but it honestly makes sense?