Im giving up for lent

Long dog

Murple: meow meow meow. Me:*picks murple up. Murple: *hooks his claw through my ear.

Kale breakfast for the triplets Daisy, Tuffi, & Harvey squirrel

Its a perfect day for an assasination. Come on someone. Please

Remember when there were all those murder clowns across america? *checks notes* no I mean actual like circus clowns not ice.

Its truly mind blowing the amount of absolute shit on the internet

Murple went on his date

2 years ago today I lost my boy. Ive been through a lot in my 42 years, but nothing has cut as deep as losing George.

Ok Ill bite, I have no clue who Bad Bunny is.

Anthony Lapaglia and Bill Pullman would be well cast as brothers

Waiting in for a plumber to come and tell us that we dont have a leak. (Cause I fixed it myself a week ago rarher than getting the landlord involved cause theyre useless)

Holy shit you Guys we got Drafts!

Murple has a Date for Valentines day, I told him he needs to be the perfect gentleman, he thought for a bit and said whos more of a perfect gentleman than Peewee Herman?

Who called it a urinal and not a Boylet

You know what I wanna see? Tim Robinson and Andy Samberg in a series together where they play Brothers. Thats it thats all Ive got, thats all you need, just fuckin make it, its gonna be a hit.

Today murple came and slept on the the bed without waking me. Its taken months of work to get to this.

Moon

Hey what happened to putting Tesla out of business cause musks a Nazi prick? That seemed to be going well but it all went quiet.

recently saw that the new Gremlins movie is set to have a cameo from mckenna grace as Phobe Spengler, tying the word of gremlins to the world of ghostbusters. This also means that Goonies is set in the same world as Casper, since Goonies is tied to Gremlins and Casper featured Ackroyd as Ray Stantz

Invest in cake shops. When he dies sales will be through the roof.

Theres no Bigfoot emoji.. or maybe there is but its hiding

Kids now days will never understand how crap torches were back before 1995.

Probably a third of the dates in my diary are just movie related..

So last week I made some soup, potatoes, carrots, turnip, onion, some stock and a bunch of spices. And a froze half of it. Well today I was thinking, that was so thick and potatoey.. so I added some egg, cornmeal and flour made it into patties and fried them. Ate them with some borscht.

Nom nom nom

Happy Groundhog day everyone

When your highly autistic friend looks you dead in the eye you know they mean business

I cant believe how many accounts on here are run by toddlers..

Little squig timeline cleanse

FREE BOWNUSS CLIKS is owt now for toodays aminals campayns an for bowt th nekt ferty minnits .. kwik ... gow gow gow www.animalwebaction.com/en/donations...

This feels way more fun and futuristic than it actually is

Dreamt I was hanging out with Keanu reeves and Alex winter, what nice guys, we went scuba diving in old flooded newyork, keanu had a really cool phone, we were playing with it while he was in the bathroom, dont tell him.

Im having grown up dinner. Cause Im a grown up. (And no one can tell me not to) yes it is half one in the morning.

Squiggly puff jr timeline clense.

Hell is only hot because the people who wrote about it didn’t know how much cold sucks.

I just woke up from a nap and somehow while I was asleep, everyone on the bus has figured out we are not going to the right place

They never explained why everyone was crawling like worms in that episode of breaking bad where the salamanca twins first show up..

He doesn’t feel well. But he’s doing his best to follow along with my commentary while we watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Hey y’all. I’m really worried about this sweet guy. If anyone is able to share or help it would mean the world to me. He and Quark are all I’ve got now. gofund.me/6df105992

Got an early night ahead of an early start, so of course my cat has woken me a bunch of times.

Saw my neighbour Totoro Live stage show in London tonight, it is Beautiful and so well done.

In london feeding squigs

Josh awakened slowly. The last thing he remembered was the glint of the axe as it came down, and then... darkness. Where was he? Why was he naked? Why the hell couldn't he feel his limbs? As his vision cleared, he looked down. That's when he saw the nails. Josh began to scream.

For the first time in a long time I had an early night and got to sleep before midnight. My cat decided he also had to move up the shedule and woke me at 2am instead of his usual 6am

We'd all be so much better off if Isaac newton had never invented gravity. That brainy son of a bitch, every time Ive ever fallen, or dropped something, or had something fall on me, its cause of him. God I hate gravity.

Today was my favourite part of xmas, chopping up the tree. Merry axemas everyone

I knew a little about how brussel sprouts grow, but started to wonder about the details, so I looked them up and what the fuck is going on?! Brussel sprouts and kale and broccoli and cauliflower and cabbage all come from the same plant?!

Someone get onto Hollywood about this, make it happen.