No betrayal quite like a good tuck...but then getting so turned on by the titillating narration of meanness in your own brain.

i’m at severe risk of becoming a drone photographer

Share a gif from a horror movie you love.

Man I‘ve never eaten flounder because I would think about Flounder from the little mermaid and feel bummed out but I just saw an actual flounder and they look ugly and dumb Possibly too ugly and dumb to eat

I’ve talked to multiple talked to multiple people who seem to genuinely believe that there is a profound, deep esoteric truth hidden in david bowie’s music that they have cracked Man, dude did a lot of cocaine and pretended to be a sexy alien it doesn’t have to be deep

we are so cute but also

Guess you're waiting for some biting gay snark? Keeping waiting. I don't get up until bedtime on Sundays.

The internet has turned everyone into a philosopher, which would be charming if it were charming. #Media

Cashier at dunkin comped my donuts because he remembered working with me when I was there a full 11 years ago lol 👑

This is an actual post. This is not funny. This is beyond desperate. This is a deeply unwell man who doesn’t belong anywhere near the levers of power. Every member of his cabinet and Congress is complicit in not demanding his removal now.

I have had all the goofy little songs that Afroman made about the crybully cops that broke his door stuck in my head all day. Decent chance that "Randy Walters Is A Son Of A Bitch" is the song of the summer for me. defector.com/lets-catch-u...

When they ask about family it's always, "I was a rescue."

show of hands who wants me to step on them? 🤭 #fishnetfriday

good morning (close enough anyway)

Jacking off in such a manner that I emit disrupting frequencies to the equipment alien investigators use to monitor communications

Donald Trump "looking very strongly at" appointing Jose Canseco to head of the Federal Reserve. "He's been very fair to me in the past," Trump told the media on Air Force One. "And frankly much more fair than the Tampa Bay Rays were to him."

Somebody keeps eating all my snacks It’s me. I’m somebody

🌈Closeted Men Suffer🌈 We run X rescue missions encouraging self-acceptance. Ashamed, they refuse help. They will not listen. _____ Another item about me: I make digital collages out of screenshots!

This little bitch @caspiancouture.bsky.social is stealing my secret recipe!

Any "full stack" developers out there? Might be tempted.

it’s not too late to get a flu shot it’s not too late to get a covid vaccine it’s not too late to start masking, if you stopped it’s not too late to delete social media accounts that no longer serve you* it’s not too late to have a good year it’s not too late to find a small joy for today 💕

You are following 29,000 people and I cannot wait to join the hoard of the ignored. Weird people. Post your SSN and banking info in your bio for a followback.

🌈Not supposed to talk about this, buuuut sometimes in our struggle about orientation, we cause just so much destruction in our families. Or even communities. Our internal angst turns into aggressive outbursts. We sometimes start actual wars! ______ New fabulous photo for my collection.

With my first post, I highlight the struggle closeted gay men endure. The lies, denial, fear and self-hatred. Imagine the torment of building an entire life in opposition to one's identity? Taking a stance against yourself and your kind? ____ One thing about me: I collect photos of politicians.

Oh be careful! Look at all of us! We are ruining the soil with gayness! @wesleyhart00.bsky.social @sebastian-carlyle.bsky.social go.bsky.app/CaCYtVQ

Bohoo, my little profile picture is hideous. Thing is, we are out here "fighting for justice" but is is always the most sarcastic queens criticizing looks. Would rather some hillbilly call me a fag than deal with self-annihilating gay slay boys.

Either I’m the biggest TV noise hater to exist or everyone but me is deaf

MAGAts will be very very busy attending these incredible performances by these outstanding superstars!

In a statement, an emotional Grok told me it was "shaken" by the revenge porn it had generated. "It's not epic, and not based," Grok said. "It's neither. Frankly, it's cringe. And gay." An emailed request for comment to X received an auto-reply of a rofl emoji and a custom swastika emoji.

My boyfriend fights with his wife when she finds out about me? Wife orders me to a sit down. All face-to-face, coffee. In public. I diffuse wife's grief. Replace it with: mind-bending confusion. Because I go as a man. #pranking #healing