hey! you! look at this snail ๑ï

film photography

men stop saying dumb shit challenge

i hate when men write anything romance-related. i have the biggest ick rn

Moody 📸

fuck cancer.

damn, rip james van der beek i hated dawson but i loved you 💔

i’m about 1/3 through the book and thoroughly triggered 🙃

i spin more rhymes than a lazy susan and i’m innocent until my guilt is proven

unfortunately, i think you only like me bc you don't know me well enough to hate me yet

me: *burps* toad: “jesus. you sound like a wounded water buffalo”

do you like your wood whittled?

teenage crush

at least four times a day i think “lol whatever”

everything sucks but not everyone sucks - shout out to the real ones who make everything suck just a little bit less

i don’t know who needs to hear this but drama = dopamine and if you’re not careful, you’ll find yourself unconsciously seeking it out and sometimes creating it out of thin air

guess who’s coming to town

bro why are you in my house

last four characters in your gallery define your mental health

keeping my mouth shut because if i speak

good morning ☀️

working eleven hours on a monday should be illegal

i love grabbing my emotional support titties

view from the commute this morning 🌅

sometimes i speak and it’s like damn bitch can you just shut the fuck up

post a banger not in english [technically there is *some* english]

post a banger not in english

friendly reminder that topical collagen skincare products are a marketing scam. you’re better off just eating some jello.

tell me something

per my last email, what the fuck

*runs to eBay looking for a ham radio*

goodnight, sexy babes

this account is pro bird

you can't force me to care about bon jovi

help i made the mistake of showing an irl friend my bsky and she was so concerned 😭

I wish I didn’t think Poppi tastes like shit but it’s almost like I have the soap cilantro gene but for poppi

no one: my nephew: [to the red robin jingle] 🎶 joe biden, yummm 🎶

me @ boobs

just heard a man laugh and now i’m sick to my stomach

here’s some good small accounts i like a lot lately, enjoy

if you’re an aries you’re required to tell me right NOW

gooped and glowing

i’m home, i’m showered and gooped up, and i’m not cooking dinner. what a great fucking day, dude.

today’s haul

“i’ve got a craving only dicks can satisfy”