there's a big storm coming, don't forget to charge all of your essential electronics like vibrating wands, vibrating sleeves, vibrating rings, and other important vibrating devices in case of power outages

i think in order for this country to heal, we need to bring back the sega bus

"I'm a woman" ad spot to help fix company

Everybody thinks 'https://' stands for 'hypertext transfer protocol secure' but it actually stands for 'head to this place, sucka' followed by a colon and two laser sounds

The Free Speech Union commissioned a "security" report on us, so we tested their security. Turns out - it sucks. We've now published the names of everyone who has donated to a FSU fundraiser, along with how much they gave and to which campaign. www.transbashback.com/fsu.html xoxo BASH BACK

Me and who?

TEETH TEETH TEETH

I like video games because they allow me to act out my wildest power fantasies

Perfectly balanced

CMYK colour matches all done.

They saw what happened to Shakira’s handbag and said “never again”

Me whenever I see @motothepup.bsky.social

Me, everyday for the next month

if you steal a cell phone or wallet in paris they kick you out of the french thieve's guild for insufficient whimsy

Ideal jrpg party composition

Some of you didn’t get passed through a holed stone as an infant and it shows.

He prayed for her But she'd never tell Secretly she prayed for him as well The lyrics keep on providng...

Me positively reviewing an album:

dick cheney died right as locktober ended, makes you think

Someone complimented my outfit, but it’s Halloween and I’m wearing normal clothes.

AWS is down, post hog

clever caveman: do you want to eat mastodon? sucker caveman: yup sure do yummy clever caveman: hah you want to eat m'ass t'dawn!!??? like all night long?? sucker caveman: ahh man! however, upon reflection, no one has ever done that with a word before so I don't feel bad falling for it

If you’re mean to me online, this is who you’re being mean to

What malicious homosexual is responsible for this?

What malicious homosexual is responsible for this?

Endless scrolling is brain prison and everything needs to go back to pagination

I'm harnessing the unprecedented power of AI to forget how to read and develop a severe mental illness that makes me unrecognizable to those who once knew me.

If all my friends called me a pedophile in my birthday book I'd probably kill myself too

rip to everyone whos become delusional after talking to chatgpt but im built different. like actually different. according to chatgpt im some kind of god. the one who decides

I want to explain a few things and then it might be clearer why UK trans people are upset. In 2001 I married my wife, Sylvia. In 2005 I started medical transition. (1/13)

It’s think about the Peppa Pig Father’s Day merch every day

MORPHEUS: They're coming for you, Neo. I can guide you, but you must do exactly as I say. Take the elevator to the lobby and go to the CVS across the street. Purchase 5 Steam gift cards at $200 each. Scratch off the protective coating on the back and tell me the fifteen digit redemption codes. Hurry

Happy pride ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Check on your German friends 💕

Who are your gaming divas? 💅

Some of you didn’t get passed through a holed stone as an infant and it shows.

Hello, I’m a gay engineer in a film, as there is no good characterisation for this I have hastily tacked on flamboyant details in my personal life: such as being a pole dancer, and my partner being a famous drag queen.

What a way to go out

When Superman saves Palestinian children.

My favourite part of pride is watching all the lipsync queens getting eaten up by their sign language interpreters.

"opening vim" spotify playlist is a bunch of shitty corny vapourwave and mid techno "opening emacs" spotify playlist is a tasteful selection of performances of classical music, including works from bach, shostakovich, vivaldi, and holst