You’re either flirting with me or flirting against me

Third year in a row I get an infected spider bite on my leg 🔥

A livestream of a volcano in the Philippines captured a meteor crashing to Earth today. What are the odds? Mayon Volcano, Location: Albay, Luzon, Philippines

A friend of mine who was TA’ing for an AmLit course found a copy of Moby Dick a student had left behind. It had only one marginal annotation, around page 100, that simply said “whale is important.”

oh no the girls are z-fighting

It’s time

Sen's Happy Fun Castle 🙂

another all-time tweet I am constantly thinking about

I shaved and now my sense of balance is off and I keep misjudging what spaces I can fit through

Warning! You might see posts in the wild claiming "Hogwarts Legacy is free right now!" but this is malware, if you try and run it, it'll install Hogwarts Legacy on your PC.

Ok fine I’ll do it myself. I’m fucking wheezing

Happy St George’s Day 🙏🏼❤️

I fell for a psyop I saw on TV that convinced me to eat a cheeseburger

Failed gay man? Well, at least I'm trying. What are you doing to be gay?

Forgetting to wear sunscreen and having to dart between shadows like a gremlin 💖

The new VERY hagriographic Michael Jackson biopic starring MJ's nephew is out at the end of the month. But back in 2004 an unauthorised and EQUALLY flattering biopic was made in Canada. Here is a clip and I promise you have NO idea where it's going. I haven't done a single edit here.

Typical opening line of a USCSB video

It’s meant to be Sunday, a day of rest. But not for me.

me making my bed: well this fucking sucks. what the fuck. me lying in it: haha fuck yeah!!! yes!!

World's First Enterprise Solution With Zero Nines Uptime

Can’t find my protein shake bottle so we’re doing this the old fashioned way (even though you don’t shake those)

no i am aware that im the worlds greatest author so it would be a huge determent to the world if i did not share my art. youre welcome world. what is just as cool is that YOU are also the worlds greatest author, or artist, or chef, or painter, or dancer. whatever you want to be. so share

Girl’s night out 💖

03/25/2025 - swan boat

The man was born in 1971 he shouldn't be a potter head he should be whatever the word is for a Barbarella fan

Why are 90% of the suggested posts on Instagram from accounts like this? It’s always a bot account from India posting highlights of a “best of social media zingers” collection, and everything is a reel with music from some horrible AI band that only ever gets used by similar accounts

I saw old stuff and even older stuff

Good morning to everyone except the worst computer industry promotional pin.

rip

I think about the fish delousing laser a lot, and if it’s creating a peppered moth style evolutionary pressure for the lice

Why do I have more of these saved?

having loving partners is just relationship-slop, you only like them because they like you

Hello, we have something extraordinary to share with you.

The Italian countryside has taught me that it is possible to make a fascist fence post

Thinking about my adult ADHD diagnosis, and how my mother would do nothing about problems until they became intolerable then shifting heaven and earth to fix them.

Says a lot about him that he's still on twitter :/

The BBC are really going out of their way to not call these The Peter Files.

The wood burning stove industry are overplaying their hand a little, acting like they have big oil money