When they ask me what radicalized me

When I came out as bi multiple people went, "Girl, we know. We all saw you in that She-Ra burlesque you wrote where your Catra ended up making out with and then married to hot Scorpia and the whole thing ended in a triple gay wedding." I had to admit they had a point 😂

The Westlake Center Mall in downtown Seattle has signs with QR codes that say "Scan to view mall hours" and every time I see one I want to do the kind of violence that would get me on the evening news

I do think this was one of our peak looks for the Christmas photo. Not that it's been downhill from here, exactly, but it's hard to beat how Christmasy this was and how coordinated 😂

So I have a little chapbook of ten Christmas carols rewritten to no longer be Jesus-y that my friend and I made for the not-Christmas Christmas Eve service we've been doing for seven years, and I'm always a little sheepish about it because who loves carols but hates Jesus?

I like that mistletoe increases the odds of being kissed. More plants should offer temporary environmental status. Brawling under lingonberries. The soft yearning of a love that dare not speak its name beneath the nightshade.

Mandate would be a great name for a masc4masc dating app

🎶it's a giant Amadeus (amaryllis)🎶 🎶it's a giant Amadeus (amaryllis)🎶 🎶it's a giant Amadeus (amaryllis)🎶 🎶Oh, amaryllis (it's a giant Amadeus)🎶

don't give up fat tanuki

Sage was the answer!!! I doctored up about half of the leftovers with sage and lemon pepper and I can no longer tell I added too much dijon. VICTORY

May it bring you some hope in these difficult times 🕯️

Last weekend I celebrated Candlenights, the holiday I invented so a friend could reclaim the experience of a Christmas Eve service without the dogma, and as has become traditional I have shared the sermon't (because it isn't a sermon, get it?) I wrote on Patreon: www.patreon.com/posts/candle...

8 years, baby

Hello, Bluesky! I had a VERY busy start of December so I didn't have time to get this going earlier: Welcome to Scarlett's (Slightly Belated) Big Holiday Sale! Use the code GAYAPPAREL25 on my website thru Jan 15 for 25% off ALL books, including audiobooks and ebooks! scarlettgaleauthor.com/shop

I understand the theory when people say, "Add a dollop of mustard to really rich sauces, you can't taste it, it just deepens the flavor!" but I regret to inform you that as a virulent mustard-loather, the threshold at which I stop tasting the mustard is much, much lower than yours.

I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons

if tumblr dies I need this video to make it's seasonal rotation here instead just in case, Happy holidays 🎄

We're deep in the throes of holiday knitting over here and I'm definitely not feeling a way about only having a week left. IT'S FINE I'M FINE. Anyway, stars and stripes mittens for my nephew (who's into the Statue of Liberty right now) and bright pink mittens for my niece (princess unicorn phase)!

I am going to go back in time and I am going to find the person who decided not to install public restrooms in the Seattle light rail stations when they were being constructed, and I'm going to kick that person's ass so hard the reverberations are felt up and down the timeline

I am going to go back in time and I am going to find the person who decided not to install public restrooms in the Seattle light rail stations when they were being constructed, and I'm going to kick that person's ass so hard the reverberations are felt up and down the timeline

I found out yesterday that there’s a holiday romance novel about fucking the Ghost of Christmas Past. I think we’re doing okay on the idea front. (No, I don’t know the title offhand.)

we can kill them all if we just work together and ✨believe💫

Tukwila, Renton, Kent, likely Auburn folks: the GO NOW evacuation order has been issued.

This always drives me a little nuts about people posting that quote. He is talking to children, and it's good advice for children. But you are an adult. You are not supposed to look for the helpers. You are supposed to BE a helper

We finally watched Knives Out last night and hey, did y'all know that was a real good movie??

The beige influencers have come for wrapping paper and must be stopped at all costs

The Westlake Center Mall in downtown Seattle has signs with QR codes that say "Scan to view mall hours" and every time I see one I want to do the kind of violence that would get me on the evening news

Huh. It's almost like when institutions stand up to that spineless coward fascist, he loses and folds. I sure wish more institutions would take note of that.

Universe decided it wasn't enough that I took a ballet class and lifted weights today and decided to make me run for a damn train 🙃

IT'S PERFECT!!!!

Big shout out to whoever drew this extremely cunty illustration for how to apply medication to your cat's ear, it was the perfect representation of a beautiful cat

I was compelled today to finally finish this piece

Went to a beginner ballet class today for the first time in over a decade and I kept up pretty well/had a good enough time that I'll be going back, but god DAMN that was a lot of French for 9:30am

I've been laughing at this all day. All three of these people nailed it. 10/10, no notes.

my comedy game Landlord Quest is out on Itch and Steam, and it’s only $2! In this economy?!?! It’s got hilarious dialog, multiple endings, even a minigame, so check it out today! And remember: 🎵 they don’t go to heaven when they die 🎵 For more info visit landlord.quest

I will never not love watching one of my online friends finally decide to divorce her useless fucking spouse. It's the one of the most incredibly satisfying feelings on earth

It really can’t be emphasized enough: reposts help a LOT. They are genuine, REAL support. This isn’t Twitter, where links out, images, and self-promo get buried. Word-of-mouth matters here, it makes a genuine difference.

Nori update

So many creep-ass Twitter accounts post paintings and photos from like, the 50s and 60s, with captions like “bring back cotillions, bring back balls, bring back house parties“ My guy Those still happen It’s just that no one‘s fucking inviting you You ever wonder why that is

We started watching the Thai Cherry Magic last night and 1) I love this trope and this show and these men so much and 2) Someday I will write a story with mindreading that accurately reflects what it would be like to read MY mind.

"If we show up and there are more than ten children, we may not be able to allow ANY of the children to handle the animals. Ten children total. TEN. TEN CHILDREN." I was just reading and nodding along in Former Circus Birthday Party Booker. "Why can't we have 15 kids?" BECAUSE THEY MIGHT DIE, LISA

Not as extreme, but the Australian animal encounter I booked for my birthday had a policy section like, "Ten children is the maximum number of children. You cannot have more than ten children. You cannot have ten chairs and then swap children out in the chairs."

This is why hating and mocking AI relentlessly and publicly is vital work.

mister policeman we gave you all the clues

One thing this tap dance class I'm taking has made clear is that I may not be the most precise dancer in the world by BY GOD my body can retain choreography like a motherfucker. Whenever the teacher makes us run something without her the entire class starts following me and it's a real ego boost 😂💪

Dammit, retailers, when I search for “dressing gown” I do not want a selection of flannel bathrobes, I want the one Hercule Poirot wore in the first season of Agatha Christie’s Poirot.

fat bear week is good, but don't forget about borb season

God I just remembered I had a dream last night that my wife and I were watching some kind of comedy (I think???) starring Xiao Zhan and in like the FIRST episode someone yanked a blanket off him while he was lying in bed and he was full-on dick-out naked ON SCREEN and it was treated as normal?