I was lost at the name of the subject and the subject’s friend, the rest was somehow reasonable by comparison.

Everyone’s like “hell yeah Hornets, first playoff win since 2016!” I’m like “do I need to board my windows in case Melo decides to jump a McLaren tonight”

Oh no @awscloud.bsky.social you’re not having technical difficulties with 20 seconds left in overtime

Immediate bump

Coby White has entered the “fuck you, pay me” zone

Hey ESPN, you can chill. I’m probably gonna watch the Super Bowl next year. But if you’re so worried about it, maybe you should sell ads to other companies for money to cover the cost of feeling compelled to advertise the Super Bowl in April.

@stevengodfrey.bsky.social I’m listening to the last single wing as I re-season the griddle for my Weber and all I can say is…get it right the first time. Blackstone forums are your friend. On round 2 of baking in some grease, last time I did 3 and the first fried rice encounter was hell to clean.

marco wanted to be president, and he ended up as an English-to-moron translator, a real Icarus story

My working theory that Cheeto Fuhrer would rather end the world than contemplate the world without himself sure seems to be hitting a crescendo.

Me, joking: I can’t believe we chose “destroying the economy” and “losing wars” over “being nice to trans people occasionally” Conservatives, dead serious: it was a tough choice, but I’m glad we picked “destroying the economy” and “losing wars” over “being nice to trans people occasionally”

But only if they want to @megrowler.fangraphs.com @benlindbergh.bsky.social

Got stuck in traffic on the way to the sticks (because Charlotte drivers are almost intentionally terrible) for a wedding rehearsal, my Spotify podcast feed was empty. But Hark! 2 1/2 hours of fullcast on my Patreon app. @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social

Say what you will about the government systems in North Carolina, but their turn time on a new auto registration sticker would make Jimmy John's jealous.

LMAO at Duke radio calling for a celebration tech on UConn

Duke won’t solve this until one of their own throws Stephen Miller into an active volcano

Famously not the case, actually

If I told you Kennesaw St. was up 14-7 on Gonzaga with 10 minutes left in the first half, would we assume Gonzaga joined CUSA for football only or KSU joined the Pac-whatever?

The ads for Game of Thrones spinoffs and the FOX Cristonationalism shows sound the exact same if you’re not looking at the TV during ad breaks

We hear “stick to sports” too much, but let’s be clear here: Team USA itself refused to stick to sports, eschewing representation of so much great American culture for, uh, Da Troops and nothing else.

Fuck yeah. “We kidnapped your president” “Lol we beat you in the sport that you actively adopted a weird, offputting militaristic approach to playing in pajamas”

lol team USA looks absolutely defeated by a team from a nation whose president their army kidnapped two months ago and boy if that doesn’t sum up American foreign policy

The fun thing about the new iOS putting texts in folders is combing through the unknown senders and finding a picture of your front door from like 50 feet away…only to zoom in and see it was your Jimmy John’s order from like 3 weeks ago

republicans are in charge of everything and they are getting everything theyve ever wanted and doing everything theyve ever wanted and the world is on fire and the global world order is collapsing. is there a correlation? who can say

Days after declaring total victory and boasting that no other military could match the US, Trump is now begging other countries — including China — to send warships to stop his Iran war from spiraling into catastrophe. A galactic humiliation.

I had been dancing on team USA‘s grave because the whole mentality has been so businesslike and staid in contrast with literally every other participant. Then, not knowing they hadn’t yet clinched advancement after the Mexico game, makes it easy to cheer for literally anyone else ¡Vamos 🇩🇴!

I think there is something to explore that many nations at the WBC have come showing what they love about their country (dancing, celebration, tradition) to represent the people while the American team has shown up representing and only celebrating the military

Gonna need “NBA purist” and “baseball nerd” defined in this context. If NBA purist is just a dude who just misses home/away unis, then yeah total dork and I’m not offended by any shade towards baseball fans

Oh shit that's a lot of money in NFL/non-QB terms $80 guaranteed makes it terrifying

getting serious replies to my Travis Kelce jokes so here are the facts of the case: has Kelce's play dropped off: yes is Kelce good enough to keep playing in the NFL: also yes should Kelce keep playing football after the world's wealthiest, most popular musician wrote a song about his penis: no

Waking up to the WBC games in Asia? Awesome. Leaving the TV on and going back downstairs, to see knuckle dragging Barstool bros doing some kind of McAfee style BS show on the Fox networks? Horrific.

So anyway, Fanatics totally dropped the ball on these WBC uniforms, huh?

JFC the Hornets are 15-3 in their last 18, 20-9 since New Years, and...just now at .500. Also the whole play-in tournament is currently the whole Southeast Division minus the Wizards. Your monthly regular season NBA skeet.

Coop is an autovote. Was advised by a local defense attorney to vote a Cannon into a judicial role but I trust her judgment

General elections stay mostly close but goddamn in a primary one of you can be Alabama and one of you can be Mercer

Hate to say it, but: Kon Knueppel is kinda dope. Minus the toss about the Duke “brotherhood” that SVP just lobbed him— which, why? But most of which he dodged.

AT&T asking if I need a confirmation code to pay my bill, but not requiring one, is more insulting than the usual 2FI-ification of the internet. Like, if someone wants to give them $250 on my behalf, be my guest.

Ah, so birthright citizenship is okay if you're an Olympic medalist, apparently. www.nytimes.com/athletic/705...

Due to recent developments, it brings me no joy to report that at some point in the near future there’ll be a Ball State vs Sac State football game

elle no longer has to worry about keeping it cute for disney and is letting the choppa sing!

only invested $40,000 and feeling pretty smug about it right now tbh

As an Eagle Scout, let me say this is an opportunity for Scouting America to stop having a partnership with the U.S. Military.

Damn, just passed 8 inches of snow in Charlotte

WINTER SURVIVAL KIT UPDATE: - mid ankle socks over ankle socks to keep the higher ones fresher (as I only own 3 pairs) - looser Nike pants over more comfortable pants - jacket over hoodie 10 days into freezing and finally ready

Somehow, refreshing that the first sobering news of the day didn’t come directly from PedOTUS *keeps scrolling*

Two years ago, I was like “hey maybe move on from Mack Brown because he couldn’t win more than 8 games with a generational NFL QB” Last year, I was like “ooh hire the guy who’s built and exceeded expectations at lower levels” Congrats on the 2028 Natty, Florida.

Ole football autism ass Russell Wilson is gonna be such a bad interview after he’s been broken by some retread old white dude in charge of the Raiders

Curt Cignetti is all of us playing EA NCAA Football

if Bill Belichick had just let them pay him money to go on TV for one more year he could've gotten at least 3 of these jobs to fight over him and instead he is going to spend the next 11 months trying to squeeze 6 wins out of the largest collection of 3-star recruits ever assembled

Another day, another dementia