Can't get it up? Blame a witch! Around the world, witches have been blamed from everything to balms that prevent penises from rising to literally stealing the dicks right off men and putting them in trees. #FolkloreSunday

Oh

I have shaved and now need to declare a major incident with multiple lacerations.

A bottle of Prosecco gone. Now for the chippy.

The rain has stopped and the co-op has just sent me £1 off wine. Is this a message?

For those supportive of the Union, a central point would be somewhere near the Lake District. I bet those bound to London don’t realise that.

We’re all fucked if our democracy can’t function without that particular building. £40bn would pay for a lovely new one somewhere else with change left over.

Happens to the best of us

What is it with this wanky trend of not making prices on menus look like prices?

The wee’un lifted me to stretch my back and now I feel like I’ve got a cracked rib

Hearing about expansion of global gag rule - not just no abortion, but also no DEI (aka "Discriminatory Equity Ideology"] - to any recipents of US Foreign Assistance.

Move parliament to Manchester or Leeds. Build a modern, useful replacement in the round, akin to the EU parliament building. Get rid of all the stupid ceremony and actually govern.

NEW EPISODE!!! This week on BBC You’re Dead To Me, we explore the dramatic life and death of famed ancient mathematician (and first woman in STEM!) Hypatia of Alexandria I’m joined by Professor @edithmayhall.bsky.social and comedian Olga Koch Listen on BBC SOUNDS, or on Radio 4 tomorrow at 10am

Please share to anyone who will find it relevant. The leather sellers grant applications are open for #CareExperienced individuals who wish to go to university this Autumn leathersellers.org/grant/educat...

Still a few tickets left for Wolverhampton talk on Sunday wolvesliteraturefestival.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

Urgh. Wet cat seeking affection.

Sir Ian McKellen performing a monologue from Shakespeare’s Sir Thomas More on the Stephen Colbert show. Never have I heard this monologue performed with such a keen sense of prescience. Nor have I ever been in this exact historical moment.TY Sir Ian, for reaching us once again. #Pinks #ProudBlue

The wee’un won’t go out in the rain for wine and I think that’s elder abuse

Cats in Medieval Manuscripts & Paintings

Low Impact Celebrity Encounters Mine’s a miss rather than an encounter. I lodged in a small house in my early 20s and my landlord knew Michael Cashman. I went away one weekend and he had a party. “Shame you missed it, Michael came over and brought Glenda [Jackson] and Ian [McKellen]”

We’re just doomed aren’t we?

Apparently The Kitchen Cabinet #BBCTKC official compendium (which I wrote in 2021 and very much enjoyed) is out in paperback this year. Double woop from me as a) it's jolly good fun and b) means I continue an unbroken run of something releasing every year since, um, a WHILE. Buy from real shops etc.

Ooh my energy company has an open API

If Labour doesn't enable electoral reform, it will be solely responsible for a Reform or Reform-led government in 2029. I will not be taking questions.

*drum roll* Here is the cover for my book, which will be published by @cornellupress.bsky.social on 15 April 2026! I thought it would be nice to share a bit of info on who these men were and how their lives and interests inspired the design...

You can't be 'addicted to dopamine'. That's like saying your favourite food is food! This is a hill I will die on.

If you live in the UK and value the BBC, please give your thoughts on its future ahead of charter renewal dcms.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_...

Is it a good time for a toasted bacon and cheese sandwich?

Buy Edna’s stuff 🙂

The “Dark Relics” of Christianity: Preserved Skulls, Blood & Other Grim Artifacts

I’ve had two baths and two beers. Time for pasta and wine I think.

Happy Imbolc all. With January behind us and a full moon too, I’m hoping this draws a line under a bad January.

The big’un has come in from two leaving parties. Drunk, mainly expressing itself as sleepy. lol.

You can test new tech ideas using the Seinfeld Test Would the product eliminate the plot of an episode? (Google maps, cell phones, paypal, battery packs) Good tech. Would the product inspire new Seinfeld plots? (NFTs, AI chatbots, crypto currency, blindboxes, metaverse land sales) Bad tech.

Making a ragu* *bolog but that will upset Italians.

Slept four hours. Now for some cooking and laundry. And wine.

As Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day approach, every pub and restaurant I’ve been to, up and down the country, emails me and not one of them ever includes their address or even their town. I have no recollection of where they are.

The biggest problem of the wee’un’s day is that he’s double booked and has to go to two parties tonight 🙄

It seems that the verbs wash and clean mean different things to some people.

To do 1 - write to do list 2 - pour beer 3 - do everything on to do list Well I’ve done 1 & 2. Let’s see how the afternoon goes on 3.

Why does the house always catch colds and run out of night nurse on Saturdays when pharmacies all close early???

£25 for two lads to give me the full “in & out”

Down Cemetery Road 😳

I’ve been imprisoned

What have I done now?

Every ad now

I’m back home in Bath

Bristol people. I'm taking a jaunt to Bristol tomorrow, does anyone have recommendations for good vintage furniture/interiors places?