first newsletter goes out tomorrow morning. subscribe if you haven't, tell your friends if you have: www.patreon.com/c/britthayes

Good morning! Yes, this is he

Last four logged: a couple of real gross shorts. Tai Kato's interpretation of a classic ghost story. Lovecraft horror starring Dean Stockwell.

Last four logged: really embarrassing nonsense, devoid of any voice or originality. It's safe to say I'm not the target audience for the work of Marina de Van.

I am not at Emerald City, and I've never wanted to be there more

Logging for the new year: Park's latest is a little bit De Palma, a lotta bit Coen Bros. Some low budget regional Yeti horror. Jeon Do-yeon is incredible in Lee Chang-dong's melodrama about the limits of faith and forgiveness. Middle-school BEAU TRAVAIL.

The final four of my 2025: Mickey Rooney party crashes the Silent Night, Deadly Night series. A couple of J-horror also-rans. One of Linnea Quigley's crowning achievements and a perfect way to ring in a new year.

Last four logged: if you think you're too good for HOME ALONE you can go and fuck yourself. One of Kore-Eda's best. Two seasonal sequels.

Videodrome reference, hell yeah Jane

Of course his full name was Frankenstein'sagar Monsteragon

Recent commission…

Last four logged: one of the most psychotic things I've ever seen in my life if we're being perfectly honest, no matter the holiday. Three from Charles Burnett.

HAL JORDAN: In brightest day, in blackest BEASTIE BOYS: NIGHT! HAL JORDAN: No evil shall escape my BEASTIE BOYS: SIGHT! HAL JORDAN: This is awkward because when I invited you I thought I was messaging Beast Boy from the Teen Titans.

Next four: Insect politics. My flower in your barrel hasn't stopped the slaughter yet. To die and live in Los Angeles. Everybody wants some.

Last four: another notch in Samara Weaving's Final Girl belt. Josh Safdie takes post-war assimilation anxiety to the next level. Wim Wenders pays his respects to Ozu. As shocked as anybody to report how taken I was with Craig Brewer's melodramatic Neil Diamond cover band movie

Retweeting for posterity

WUTHERING HEIGHTS: surprised as anybody to report that I kinda fucked with it! All artifice and melodrama with zero subtlety, while being both extremely earnest and unironically funny, qualities very much lacking in most modern romance. Linus Sandgren shoots the hell outta this.

Last four logged: affecting little dramatic short. A little Lonergan, a little Ozu. 100% without question would risk it all for Varang.

Logging through it: Wry early film from Sarah Jacobson. Final flick in Radiance's Corneau box set features a manic Depardieu. Reichardt's Certain Women is slow, still, and perfectly measured. Kore-Eda goes procedural.

Do I have to pretend to like 3 doors down now?

Next four: all-timer shitty guy in Corneau's Jim Thompson adaptation. Delightful, cozy Powell + Pressburger set in the Hebrides. Toni Servillo once again Sorrentino's secret weapon. Everything about Sarah Jacobson's biggest/best picture reminds me of making movies with friends.

Last four logged: the Alain Corneau box set from Radiance has some gems, including this filthy cop thriller. Jessie Buckley pretty much has that Oscar on lock. Marlon Wayans and a surprise Heidecker really the only redeeming factor of HIM. Wagner Moura is 100% fully my guy now.

🚨 To Live and Die in LA is streaming on a bunch of platforms right now: the Criterion Channel, Tubi, & Pluto TV. could not recommend it more

Feeling extremely insulted by the autistic-coded sentient hologram character in Starfleet Academy, it's never been more embarrassing to be a Trek fan, really

Last four: Flynn trades in his tough guys for lil Eddie Furlong in something like if Neuromancer met EC Comics. Zombie nonsense with historic pedigree, lame kills and a lot of tits (derogatory). Joachim Trier's tremendous new flick. An audacious epic shown in its ideal format.

I have also been doing this. I'm not a ski jumper but I do like the idea of flying farther

Last four, marathon edition: a sublimely perfect bad movie. If Abel Ferrara saw FADE TO BLACK or VIDEODROME and then huffed a bunch of ether. Trashy euro-horror with a cenobite-worthy final ten minutes. Rural slasher with great kills, zero tits (complimentary)

Last four logged: all-timer Friedkin, immaculately shot by Robby Müller with a killer Wang Chung soundtrack. The Spanish language Dracula is nearly better than the original, excepting Bela. Kicking off another horror marathon with a Tod Browning classic.

Last four logged: Hackman and Reynolds charm their way through Stanley Donen's messy, gauzy dramedy. Another cozy and entertaining Benoit Blanc mystery. The Thing for the TRL generation. When I said the og M3GAN needed to be either funnier or meaner, this isn't what I meant.

Last four logged: the Danger Vacuum gets me real good, I can't lie to you -- terrible movie, three star bit. Thorny, nasty, southern-fried justice. Early GDT creature feature that I watched on cable frequently as a kid. FIRST COW best cow, am I right?

Another four: ridiculous but watchable Eastwood spy franchise that never took off. Keith Gordon's directorial debut is remarkably confident and has a killer anachronistic Peter Gabriel soundtrack. Finnish action sequel doubles down on annihilating fascists. Punk rock western.

Next four: deliriously silly ZAZ farce. Peckinpah's final film is a jumbled mess of Ludlum nonsense. PTA's second picture is iconic moment on top of iconic moment, a total glut of unforgettable scenes. Jingoistic garbage only slightly salvaged by its stars.

Last four: early Danny Boyle is full of verve. Dumb action with a goofy and fun Josh Hartnett. Short breezy flick where Rebecca Hall wears incredible outfits. First half of Oz Perkins' latest is aggressively unpleasant before revealing a gonzo third act.

Last four: despite a few fun setpieces, there's barely anything of Edgar Wright in the new THE RUNNING MAN. Gonzo Steven Seagal is, to put it mildly, less than culturally insensitive. All-timer punk cinema. An exceedingly silly spoof.

Last four logged: new Predator definitely has some Disney Star Wars energy, but it's still pretty fun. Pacino and Hackman give wonderful, authentic performances in Schatzberg's big road movie. Exquisite wushu splatter violence. Surprisingly mean mafia epic.

A new four: sci-fi psychodrama starring a very game Alicia Vikander. Bi Gan's latest is rapturous and cerebral. Fastvold's b-side to THE BRUTALIST that's being woefully overlooked during awards season. Lynne Ramsay adapts Anita Harwicz to less than satisfying results.

Guys I think Geese is a pretty cool band, hopefully that's not an irrational opinion to express on the ol internet

Next four: animated vignettes serve as connective-ish tissue for the current iteration of the Predator franchise. Powell & Pressburger's classic has a magnificent ballet centerpiece. Friedkin gives us one of the greatest car chases ever. Bond by way of grindhouse acid-trip.

Next four: this Malkovich -also- fucks. Scott Cooper continues what I can only assume at this point is his goal to be the most mediocre and unremarkable filmmaker of his time, while the only passion Yorgos has is for being a weird lil freak. Peckinpah's thorny Civil War epic.

Logging through it: the most embarrassing pile of dogshit to ever bear the Trek mantle, and that's really saying something. Gooey late 90s cable programmer. GDT's latest is him playing the hits, for better and for worse. This Malkovich fucks.

A new four: neon soaked romantic dramedy with an absolutely insane soundtrack stacked with Teddy Pendergrass jams. Uneven horror debut still shows a lot of promise. Luca's extremely latest is messy and by far his weakest. Late Carpenter made more watchable by young future stars.

Next four: Kelly Reichardt and Josh O'Connor supremacy. Tense and upsetting Iranian political drama. Mid-aughts Spanish found footage flick holds up extremely well. Dog moms, am I right everybody?

Last four logged: clever little low budget time paradox. Dekker and Black deliver big spooky fun. Bleak euro-thriller. Decidedly less clever low budget time paradox.

50

Another four logged: Exhumed ends with an absolute crowdpleaser of a finale. Ethan Hawke in two extremely different roles that I love for very different reasons. Complicated but imperfect sex dramedy that's possibly more charming because of its faults.

A witching-hour four courtesy of Exhumed: bizarre and dull supernatural kiwi nonsense. Droning Lovecraftian terror. Slow, atmospheric euro horror. Very silly and budget-conscious ouija scares.

Time to tap the sign

Next four, Exhumed edition: two years in a row, a King adaptation absolutely kills with a packed crowd. Logy Carmilla riff. Jodie Foster terrorized by pedo Marty Sheen. John Landis is a so-called 'divisive' director, in that Vic Morrow's head was entirely divided from his body.

Next four: Graveyard Love, but sexy, gross, and exquisitely shot. Caustic buddy cop programmer where Dreyfuss and Estevez probably ought to have switched roles. The Exhumed 24 Hour Horror-Thon kicks off with Bava and the Macabre Maven herself.