I think about this tweet every day

AI? Ass, Init?

put a call out for ppl good at photoshop for a lil edit I need and ended up getting a lot of intel on how various types of ppl view AI — bc so many of them replied to my explicit ask for a human being by informing me my iPhone or Gemini could do it (also lol it literally cannot)

many years ago I added cascadas Christmas album to my holiday playlist and it doesn’t hit the same now but I don’t have the heart to remove it cuz I’m like… i bet the bump in streams is a lovely little Christmas gift

no matter what happens, nobody can ever take away the drunk snaps my mom sends me and I think that’s beautiful

switched to Apple Music and I can say the most noticeable thing is how much apple overestimated I want to hear a man

I love when I pretend I’m gonna eat my dogs and they don’t even react. Like damn bitch you really think I’m not built like that huh

lads, are we moisturizing our dick and balls ?

imagine being a 40 year old man at a karaoke bar in sweat shorts and slides asking a woman you just met how much she weighs

me doing foreplay with someone who has no object permanence: 🙈🦪😱

it’s giving mucus membrane

waiting for you is like waiting for Pinterest to show me a result that’s not AI — useless and disappointing

this is why my phone has 0 normal flattering photos of me in the last year and a half (including at my wedding)

it can be scary after a night of drinking to find a 1:12 minute long video of your friend on her hands and knees performing “Lips of an Angel” at the gay dive bar. scary because it raises questions like what else happened that didn’t get documented

need the gov to take the money it uses to subsidize the dairy industry and give some (aka most) to alternative milks

Rat Boys 4 Lyfe

people think I’m above suing a dead person. I’m not

Oh wow @reuters.com got the photo here:

sexting the older generation requires self-confidence. for example, I sent a nude and he just gave it a thumbs up reaction 😩 weaker folks may never recover from such things

if there’s one thing Bluesky is gonna do, it’s automoderate my content immediately, regardless of how suggestive it is or is not

wait, is it #humpday? I’ve missed it since Halloween but I was a mouse… duh

I received this email about Democrats caving to end the shutdown from one of the SNAP recipients I spoke to:

New awareness campaign

i think if you ride public transit enough you learn that most weird behavior is not dangerous, and conversely i think driving a car teaches you that everyone is trying to kill you at all times

i mixed matcha + eggnog idgaf

Yall remember when council heard 100% opposition to expanding SPD surveillance then voted 7-2 to move forward while dismissing concerns about ICE access? Well ICE has access to police cameras all over the state already :) www.king5.com/article/news...

Wake up, babe, the least subtle visual metaphor in history just dropped

me when I’m done taking 20 loads: Tip me over and pour me out!

hi I’m James. I live inside my friend’s giant peach tit

someone at my work muttered to themselves about the seat being left up but then also immediately took off their shoes to shit in the work restroom so… I just think they care about unique things

my coworkers have clocked me this week for casually saying “amalgamation” and “it’s giving cuneiform” but I won’t apologize for knowing things

going to start asking people who do fantasy football if they’re “fantasizing”

aaand we are officially in the hide-your-neighbors stage

anytime someone captions a photo of themselves with “is this anything?” it takes everything in me to resist replying “no. hope this helps!”

I hate locktober. get them out of there!!!

I guess it’s true what my grandma said. You can’t expect to hear from every man you let suck your tit at the bar just bc you let them suck your tit. so RIP grandma u were full of wisdom

every time I read my #book I think to myself “Isaac Ass-To-Mouth”

just watched a squirrel hang upside down from one of my sunflowers. it was sick as fuck. what a great way to start the day

anyways here’s an album that’s actually good that dropped today

every commercial I see for the cbs white people in country music reality show makes me mad bc “my kind of country” already exists and is so compelling and explores such interesting facets of country music while being infinitely more diverse

in my social circle, the meme of calling things that are made of denim whatever its name is but starting with a j- will never die

did you know I’m the only horny person at Folsom and all I got was pee on this t-shirt

The way I’m edging to Waymo is counter-culture

got the friends and family discount at this cafe for being visibly a f*ggot

I love meddling and I won’t apologize for that

shotgunning a bud light as performance art

I'm seeing some people post this and not realize this is PART of the radicalization. Building an audience from reasonable sounding videos and converting them into the pipeline. Weiss is doing this now as I get The Free Press ads about things like "low tech parenting" and workout fads.

last week we were interacting in the group chat like a work teams chat. this week we’re typing emoticons as replies instead of emojis. we’re creating and cycling through new trends at a glorious and fun-filled pace and it’s just for us <3

call my bussy little Italy the way it’s full of Italian DNA

I’m not a narcissist I just have narcissistic tendencies