One of the things that personally drives me crazy in the U.S. is how youth sports/athletic activities went from a part of the public good (municipal leagues and fields! rec centers! public parks!) to a privatized, expensive, highly competitive, highly structured pursuit for wealthy kids’ résumés

Important things in the lifelong pursuit of cozy

when i die, i hope it’s .mov

I’m thinking about the little girl who is obsessed with the bugonia trailer

this is a level of complicity that had not occurred to me

trying to have a lovely planner setup cafe day and someone behind me is discussing his lawsuit against his wife who tried to kill him. how am I supposed to focus on myself!?

the sexual tension between me and the guy pressed up against the automatic back doors of the bus as passengers shuffle off

I loved Collin Powell in spy kids 3d

from a very young age I knew I wanted to monologue

he has a monster cock and that’s actually why he’s called Frankenstein’s monster

me on sniffies with the intent of completely wasting a man’s time: hey

I think about this tweet every day

AI? Ass, Init?

put a call out for ppl good at photoshop for a lil edit I need and ended up getting a lot of intel on how various types of ppl view AI — bc so many of them replied to my explicit ask for a human being by informing me my iPhone or Gemini could do it (also lol it literally cannot)

many years ago I added cascadas Christmas album to my holiday playlist and it doesn’t hit the same now but I don’t have the heart to remove it cuz I’m like… i bet the bump in streams is a lovely little Christmas gift

no matter what happens, nobody can ever take away the drunk snaps my mom sends me and I think that’s beautiful

switched to Apple Music and I can say the most noticeable thing is how much apple overestimated I want to hear a man

I love when I pretend I’m gonna eat my dogs and they don’t even react. Like damn bitch you really think I’m not built like that huh

lads, are we moisturizing our dick and balls ?

imagine being a 40 year old man at a karaoke bar in sweat shorts and slides asking a woman you just met how much she weighs

me doing foreplay with someone who has no object permanence: 🙈🦪😱

it’s giving mucus membrane

waiting for you is like waiting for Pinterest to show me a result that’s not AI — useless and disappointing

this is why my phone has 0 normal flattering photos of me in the last year and a half (including at my wedding)

it can be scary after a night of drinking to find a 1:12 minute long video of your friend on her hands and knees performing “Lips of an Angel” at the gay dive bar. scary because it raises questions like what else happened that didn’t get documented

need the gov to take the money it uses to subsidize the dairy industry and give some (aka most) to alternative milks

Rat Boys 4 Lyfe

people think I’m above suing a dead person. I’m not

Oh wow @reuters.com got the photo here:

sexting the older generation requires self-confidence. for example, I sent a nude and he just gave it a thumbs up reaction 😩 weaker folks may never recover from such things

if there’s one thing Bluesky is gonna do, it’s automoderate my content immediately, regardless of how suggestive it is or is not

wait, is it #humpday? I’ve missed it since Halloween but I was a mouse… duh

I received this email about Democrats caving to end the shutdown from one of the SNAP recipients I spoke to:

New awareness campaign

i think if you ride public transit enough you learn that most weird behavior is not dangerous, and conversely i think driving a car teaches you that everyone is trying to kill you at all times

i mixed matcha + eggnog idgaf

Yall remember when council heard 100% opposition to expanding SPD surveillance then voted 7-2 to move forward while dismissing concerns about ICE access? Well ICE has access to police cameras all over the state already :) www.king5.com/article/news...

Wake up, babe, the least subtle visual metaphor in history just dropped

me when I’m done taking 20 loads: Tip me over and pour me out!

hi I’m James. I live inside my friend’s giant peach tit

someone at my work muttered to themselves about the seat being left up but then also immediately took off their shoes to shit in the work restroom so… I just think they care about unique things

my coworkers have clocked me this week for casually saying “amalgamation” and “it’s giving cuneiform” but I won’t apologize for knowing things

going to start asking people who do fantasy football if they’re “fantasizing”

aaand we are officially in the hide-your-neighbors stage

anytime someone captions a photo of themselves with “is this anything?” it takes everything in me to resist replying “no. hope this helps!”

I hate locktober. get them out of there!!!

I guess it’s true what my grandma said. You can’t expect to hear from every man you let suck your tit at the bar just bc you let them suck your tit. so RIP grandma u were full of wisdom

every time I read my #book I think to myself “Isaac Ass-To-Mouth”

just watched a squirrel hang upside down from one of my sunflowers. it was sick as fuck. what a great way to start the day

anyways here’s an album that’s actually good that dropped today