imagine a comedian. if he’s not in prison try again

the best feature of groupme is revealing how the creator of the group has people saved in their phones

my teammates were asking me about the tallest and shortest people I've dated and it made me realize there's a 19 inch difference between them

my crush brought a baguette with butter on it to practice for me today (:

cvs asking what a patient's ASAB is and not their actual sex and then not being able to run insurance bc they don't have the right sex is so fucking stupid

this guy is arguing with the bus driver about the date on the electronic destination board, he says it's the 28th not the 27th

lunch of champions

a counterpoint to the whole "the red line is too expensive to build" people is that it doesn't look like the feds understand the economy and when we go to pay off the construction bonds in 20 years $25 billion dollars might just be what a sandwich and a pop costs

fun fact: drayage drivers, the people who pick up containers from ships and trains, are overwhelmingly immigrants this would basically make it straight up impossible to move anything in a container in this country

fun fact: drayage drivers, the people who pick up containers from ships and trains, are overwhelmingly immigrants this would basically make it straight up impossible to move anything in a container in this country

i wonder if i could make monster freeze pops

time to start my consulting firm where we have a ribbon cutting and move like 3 shovelfuls of dirt around without doing anything else every 18 months for 5 years like they did with the damen green line station

see this is why i never open my mail

i love ordering something on Sunday with 3-7 day shipping and getting a notification that it will be arriving a week after the following Thursday

Natural Bridge is a treasure trove of storefronts added onto houses

i stopped listening to npr in 2014 bc i couldn't stand how every segment ends with "but it could literally be the complete opposite we just don't know" any halfway informative public radio show is actually produced by American Public Media

I thought my therapist of 6 years was gonna have a stroke from sheer ecstacy when i was like "i get it now, i can't fix them and trying will just make me miserable"

i keep having the best conversations while sitting on the bench at the northbound 9/x9 stop at ashland

americans would rather eliminate every single bit of community they have rather than address homelessness, gun violence, or poverty

it's so nice making connections with neighbors and getting texts being like hey can you come over to help me for a minute

modern camera systems are unbelievable bc i also did this handheld and it's like a 2 second exposure

deep aoife lore: my college radio station spun body talk pt 1 more than any other college in the country according to the college music journal and like 80% of the spins were from my radio show lol

lets fucking gooooooooo!!!!!!

my dream is to be the sinclair of number stations

apparently while having a mother with bpd does affect a child's social and emotional development, having a father with bpd does not and i just have to imagine it's cause those guys aren't around enough to actually fuck up their kids

The annual pumpkin display at the entrance of Governor Pritzker’s personal residence on Astor Street. He is the pumpkin king. Illinois produces the most pumpkins, including canned, than any other state in the U.S., twice as many as the next five states combined.

my dream is to be the sinclair of number stations

so research is Going Well

the worst part of being on offense, defense, and special teams is that i never get cut early from practice

i don't really understand why people think 3 story buildings are so much less imposing than 5 story buildings on normal lots, or why like 8-12 story buildings are preferable to a 20 story building on big lots like if anything the smaller buildings look stupid with how wide Chicago's roads are

i think it's so cool they let british people make music. it's good to let them have something

on the bright side it would be very difficult for today to start off worse than yesterday

honestly i think they are aware that they would be at risk of patriarchal violence from within their own relationship

once again, if tylenol caused autism, america would have a better rail system

the other thing that drives me nuts about this argument is it intrinsically treats men and women as the same and that's actually not true, and people who believe this often endanger women by failing to defend them from misogyny or protect them from patriarchal control

the thing that's really crazy to me about bi erasure discourse is the frequent assertion that bi women are not welcome in lesbian spaces and that lesbians won't date bi women like are they looking at lesbian spaces from the outside and guessing whether people are bi by looking at them?

the bi erasure girls got very heated at a joke on instagram and started posting statistics about how many more men there are then lesbians and as always i want to know why the bi erasure girlies never count bi women in their dating pool

Honeywell Controls River West, Chicago

field curvature is up there with johnson-nyquist noise for physical properties that are my enemy

reporting for duty 🫡

at the bar after our football games someone was describing this amazing play they saw but they couldn't remember who did it and like 30 seconds in i realized they were talking about a tackle for loss i pulled off by diving backwards off a block and pulling the flag at full extension with my left arm

joint dpoy is insane but also i don't agree that it *obviously* should have gone to A'ja Wilson

we have one space left in our airbnb for gay bowl and i was like 2 weeks is a tight window but i think i kind find a woman with a personality disorder to fill that space and my team was like don't even fucking joke about that aoife

looks like i'm gonna have to listen to the monitor AGAIN

member they said i wouldn't get it i got it i went to go get it i get it i got it i went to go get it i get it i got it i went to go get it i get it i got it

got an ad for a crop top member's only jacket and now i'm thinking of becoming my most toxic self

i generally think of myself as a very average person and every time i interrogate that belief i discover i am extremely not

i still can't believe that im the only person i know who listens to music in every single hour of the day over the course of a week

see im not the only one who thinks the problem with america is protestants

the reflections on that glass are giving buzz lightyear