When is Tom Cruise gonna parachute in on his motorcycle and kill this Paramount deal

Loling because a couple years ago a client condom brand wanted to launch their new line and I suggested taking over the D Train stops in Manhattan for a day and they were like hmmm nahhh and instead paid an influencer to make IG videos which didn’t move the needle at all and the launch was a flop

They don’t really love you if they don’t sit patiently in the car when you arrive at your destination and let you finishing belting out No Way from the Broadway musical Six

Why does every photo of her make her look like a high school kid who didn’t do the reading and is BSing their way through a book report in front of the class

Does anyone make Baked Alaska anymore

One of my favorite things to do for Date Night is go to an old fashioned ass restaurant that has like Lobster Thermidor on the menu

Genuinely restorative to my soul to see snow melting

Great day to walk to the ice cream shop and get a milkshake

i love this because normies have no idea who bari weiss is or that ownership changed hands they just know cbs evening news sucks now

I keep seeing headlines about Bill O’Reilly having a new show but I’m sorry I thought he died at least 5 years ago

There's no reforming this. Burn it down, salt the earth, and start over.

I never bite my tongue more than when someone who considers themselves a Film Expert™️ posts confidently about how something must have happened a certain way on a film or TV set and it’s very obvious they’ve never been on a set

“I will die on the hill that the best personal essays don’t have a news peg,” -me as I grumpily try to find a news peg for an idea I wanna pitch

I know this is becoming something of a mantra but it is really disheartening to be reminded constantly how many seemingly normal folks out there are just completely bereft of the most rudimentary degree of basic decency or moral sense.

I’ve had a super weird week and all I do now is add “and I’m gonna make it everyone’s problem” to everything I say

I’m writing a personal essay and I’m gonna make it everyone’s problem when it publishes

I’m nearing the point of being close enough to my vacation that I keep having the dream of being at the airport without my suitcase

I’ve come around to the insufferable side of backing into a parking spot (insufferable bc the people who do it all the time never shut up about it being superior) but if there’s a million spots open to do a pull through and you hold up cars to back in just know I curse you and your entire lineage

She's right and she should say it.

Hell yeah let’s go

I don’t think you should be allowed to work in baseball if you’ve never seen Major League

I want everyone to know I said this like Juan Uribe talks about football

Phil Collins’ Something Happened on the Way to Heaven is truly one of the most upbeat songs where the lyrics are sad as hell

Someone messaged me after I posted a picture of my dog and was like she looks like she doesn’t have any functioning brain cells so now we’re working on our multiplication tables and algebraic equations

Asking my client if they need me up in Boston again anytime soon so I can get the iced coffee bucket

Apropos of *waves hand around* At my first job I won the March Madness bracket 3 years running & a piss baby man sent a company wide email suggesting I was getting my picks from my bf or dad. Another dude wrote back “who cares, just congratulate her you loser.” And those are the two male genders.

Wear Whatever F-ing Jeans You Want www.wonkette.com/p/wear-whate... By Robyn Pennacchia @robynelyse.bsky.social

More snow in the forecast?!!?!

Now trying to think what would be the ultimate kill the vibe on a date movie. Might need to March Madness bracket this.

“i’m still punk” i whisper to myself as i turn down the music in my car so i can see better

Thinking about movies that ended up being bad choices to watch on dates (not because the movie was bad) and I just mainly remember watching Sleepers and my boyfriend of the time was quiet for like 24 hours afterwards

they should invent a falling asleep on the couch that happens in bed

Philip Seymour Hoffman’s line reading of “dude why would you make number 2 at her apartment” deserved an Oscar

I’m putting on Along Came Polly tonight because even just the Philip Seymour Hoffman scenes and Alec Baldwin scenes are worth the price of admission

oh word???? no shit????? for real????????

The only reason the snow hasn’t broken my spirit yet. But ohhhh I am close.

In my 1000 years on this earth I’ve learned that you don’t always have to forgive someone for bad behavior to get past it. Sometimes you can just tell them they’re an irredeemable dipshit. And then never lose a moment’s sleep over it again.

If more snow next week ruins my vacation plans I’m gonna make it everyone’s problem

I need Ben Affleck’s thoughts on the bucket of iced coffee stat

Just hit the 10-year friendship anniversary with a man or the When Harry Met Sally year as I like to call it

Curled up in the window seat watching the snow fall and writing in my journal as is intended by the powers that be for writers with the Sunday Scaries

...a good percentage of my posts here are about weird movies made by a group of ragtag folks who thought it'd be fun if a toaster was possessed or other some such nonsense. Aiming for relevance misses the mark. Focusing on what brings you joy will never disappoint.

skating around holding Johnny Gaudreau’s jersey is gonna make me cry

Ok back to baseball

Dudes be fighting

I’m not emotionally ready for more snow

Texting “u up?” To everyone I know right now to talk hockey

The Bacon Turkey Bravo from Panera is sooooo mediocre and yet I still find it irresistible at times

Sorry if I'm messing things up this is my first time living through a dystopia

Putting nuts in cake or brownies is domestic terrorism