It'll feel just like work... Well, minus the kissing.

How I'm walking out of 2025

We lost Quentin Tarantino in our ball pit two days ago, in case you're wondering where the crying and misogynist comments are coming from.

You will be visited by three spirits...

🙌🏼🙏🏼 www.instagram.com/reel/DRLvJYi...

Please respect my privacy during this trying time. www.instagram.com/reel/DRCw5us...

😂😂 www.instagram.com/reel/DQm1rEz...

“a dull blade is more dangerous than a sharp one”- guy that’s never been stabbed by a sharp blade

Concert on the Main Street Stage brought to you by Ozempic located next to the Main Street Fountain brought to you by Surge.

When you're a horror but you still want to feel ✨bonita✨

My heroes are back. Drina already vetoed this for us though. Something about not pissing off the dead with shitty music and they’ve already suffered enough.

PSA 🖤💀

Pretty sure I saw this dude in Agartha earlier today… (( #SWLRP ))

Please be nice to Carol in reception. She donated all of her worldly possessions to her pastor who sold them on eBay.

When you're forced to improvise...

😏

So, this Rapture was a bust too?

Say the password “brainworm” to purchase Tylenol at our gift shop.

If you see a rapture happening in your area consider treating it like a solar eclipse. It isn't bright enough to damage your eyes, but you may know someone being raptured - and they go up there naked. You don't want to have to stay behind with the memory of having seen one of your friends assholes.

It did not work, by the way.

Aquarius: Does the phrase ‘ghost sauce’ make any sense to you? If not, it will very soon, unfortunately.

If anyone wants to give away their cash, comics collection, time shares because they're a Rapture candidate... I'm available

Trying to impress the ladies like… www.instagram.com/reel/DI6t8JT...

I posted this 7 months ago and it's only grown more relevant every day since. Which is, you know, annoying.

All of our employees are working from home today so just help yourself or whatever.

Tried this with the real ones & it still works. Nobody can resist the Macarena. www.instagram.com/reel/DOcfpFP...

who wud win in a fite: roller coaster vs dragon?? 🐉🎢

Only if it begs...

If you see this, repost with a vampire that isn't Dracula.

For International Dog Day, we have dug out the Old Yeller slot machine from the warehouse.

Bout to do the “blasting white girl music” trend here. We thinking T. Swift or Sabrina Carpenter? Open to suggestions. Wi-Fi is surprisingly stable so I’ve got all of Spotify at my fingertips. (( #SWLRP ))

We will disappear your cover band if you play Kokomo or Sweet Caroline on our stage. That's how much we care about our customers.

Where the Fuck Did You Find These Red Coins They're Disgusting

Nah it's fine. We've bonded. She's my support sinister specter.

I'll be going live in about 4 hours happy-tentacle-radio.mixlr.com

To the people complaining it dyed their skin green, what did you expect?!? It’s bright green water.

PSA: We were unaware that the face painter was using lead based paints. If you’ve ever had your face painted at Wonder Park in the past, you may want to consult a doctor.

I'm sorry but I can't see this relationship going anywhere if you can't even commit to the bit

My dog knows more English words than I know dog words

All the deftones album people are gonna be so sad though...

Our casino holds the record for most "Weekend At Bernie's" incidents in the midwest.

Shots like this don't help. Or do? 😂

I think a woman is more likely to call me "princess" or "babygirl" than "Daddy," and I'm OK with that.

😂

Feels appropriate.