Redville Zoo
@redvillezoo.bsky.social
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Definitely not a haunted zoo
ZOO RENOVATION UPDATE Turns out the alligators didn't escape. They were downriver in our Exotic Fish Extravaganza.* Alligator pen renovations are complete and the fencing now reaches to the bottom of the river. *Please contribute to our Exotic Fish Extravaganza GoFundMe.
24 days ago
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We had another mauling incident. They'll probably be more. It is what it is.
2 months ago
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OSHA took our bonobo's glass cutters.
2 months ago
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Our polar bears get ready to take a cold plunge.
2 months ago
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An eagle that smokes? Really, Greeneville? We had a moose get drunk on fermented apples in a trash bin and it took 3 burly guards to pry his antlers loose but we never gave him shit about it.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Wrong. That was your mom.
add a skeleton here at some point
4 months ago
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This is revisionist history. Gavin was stealing food from the badgers.
add a skeleton here at some point
4 months ago
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The wolves have put themselves in charge of the deer pen.
4 months ago
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We appreciate the positive comments about our manger scene but we don't have a manger scene. Karl our greensman passed out in the sheep pen.
4 months ago
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"A zebra is just a redacted horse" -Kyle The Intern
5 months ago
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Greeneville didn't have a rodent enclosure until the city caught them dumping pesticides next to their compost bins and those rats look like the Dogs of Chernobyl.
add a skeleton here at some point
5 months ago
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Nobody knows who's in charge over at Greenville.
add a skeleton here at some point
5 months ago
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Introducing the very first zoo crypto, "REDVILLE COIN 🍌🍌" We don't have a prospectus, but we do have a tax lien and an urgent deadline to buy liability insurance before January 1st.
5 months ago
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The zoo is temporarily closed while we take an inventory of our missing turkeys.
5 months ago
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It wasn't us. We can't even keep our own turkies safe.
add a skeleton here at some point
5 months ago
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Thanks to everyone who contributed to the GoFundMe to raise money for Groundskeeper Carl's rabies shots. Good news, the bat tested negative. Bad news, Carl had a blood alcohol level of 2.8 which is a parole violation and we used the money to get him a lawyer.
6 months ago
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After a temporary shutdown over living conditions, the weasels have voted with the pigs to reopen the zoo.
6 months ago
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We want to thank everyone who donated to get our GM out of jail. There's no way to know the lemurs were stolen.
6 months ago
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One of our chimps burned down the wash station. Hugo only gets in the tub if we give him a cigarette but we forgot to take away his lighter.
6 months ago
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Here's the thing about Redville Zoo. We're not the biggest. We're not the fanciest. Some of our paperwork is questionable and a few of our animals are carrying diseases we can't identify, but we've been the #1 attraction in Redville since our truck ran out of gas and coasted into an empty field.
7 months ago
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We have close to 1000 followers and the greatest fan base on the socials. You folks are the best! Now, can someone lend us $ to bail out our social media person? or we'll be forced to start a podcast.
7 months ago
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Redville Zoo's sea otters hold hands because we value love and family.
add a skeleton here at some point
7 months ago
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You can't tariff a good time! Visit Redville Zoo.
7 months ago
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We hate to spread gossip, but we heard that Greeneville's Giant Andean Condor Is just a fat crow.
7 months ago
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We want to congratulate Greeneville management on 1 day since a clown terrified a child at their "brilliant" BOO AT THE ZOO Halloween event.
7 months ago
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We apologize for trying to pass off trout as koi fish in our "Exotic Aquatic Experience" but tariffs are kicking our butts and we thought red highlighters were waterproof.
8 months ago
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You'll never hear Greeneville's wolves cry to the blue corn moon.
8 months ago
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Today, Greeneville Zoo said some of the most disturbing words we've ever heard.
8 months ago
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At least we're not on a Superfund site and our zoo director has both his arms.
add a skeleton here at some point
8 months ago
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Big weekend at Greeneville Zoo. We don't like to spread rumors but we heard they're trying to pass off a whiny coyote as a rare New Guinea Singing Dog.
8 months ago
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Unlike Greeneville Zoo, our employees aren't forced to wear weirdass matching uniforms.
add a skeleton here at some point
8 months ago
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Unlike Greeneville Zoo, Redville Zoo will be open be open normal hours on Labor Day.
8 months ago
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Greeneville Zoo is the only zoo in America where you enter through an insurance office.
8 months ago
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A lot of people are saying that Greeneville Zoo sits on top of a Superfund site and their "Rare And Unusual Animals" exhibit is just a collection of radioactive freakish mutations that you enter at your own risk.
8 months ago
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Octopuses have 3 hearts and they all hate Greeneville Zoo.
9 months ago
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Our fainting goats are authentic. Greeneville Zoo's fainting goats are just drama queens.
9 months ago
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The biggest difference between Redville Zoo and Greeneville Zoo is our animals are free to leave.
9 months ago
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We were shocked to find out that Greeneville Zoo's passwords were all 123chimpanzee.
add a skeleton here at some point
9 months ago
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Greeneville zoo doesn't understand "freedom"
add a skeleton here at some point
10 months ago
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Greeneville calls it an"escape." We call it "the governor's work furlough and rehabilitation program through soft societal reintegration."
add a skeleton here at some point
10 months ago
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And we want To Congratulate Greeneville Zoo On their Prison Work Release Program and remind visitors that a flashing red ankle bracelet means you should call the cops.
add a skeleton here at some point
11 months ago
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Our weasel was glad to finally be caught. He was living off scraps from the Greeneville Zoo Cafe and now he's pre diabetic.
add a skeleton here at some point
11 months ago
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Greeneville Zoo makes it's animals drink out of a garden hose
11 months ago
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We hate to start rumors but the director of Greeneville Zoo was spotted passed out next to the donkey tranquilizers.
11 months ago
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you reached the end!!
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