the first 3 words you see will define your 2026 Pizza Pussy Butter

I want everyone to find happiness. Everyone. Just not at my expense. Still. Best of luck, What Coulda Been.

Well shit. Let's see if my body can endure this again.

A few of my fave cutebros on this app @gulfcoastjake.bsky.social @downsideupart.bsky.social @aghastronaut.com @benedictsred.bsky.social @potshopboy.bsky.social @wsstamey.bsky.social @ethereal-astronaut.bsky.social shout out to @chabbyd.bsky.social who's even handsome on Discord. Ayoo!

I'll never be a "LOL" guy. "hahahah" until the day I day.

"Sure dry-humping is great and all, but have you ever tried wet humping?" - Me trying to never get invited to social gatherings ever again

It is beard, flannel, and knit hat season. My time has arrived.

If you go out on a date with a man, then find out he doesn't read and can't cook, don't fuck him. NEXT!

Sad and horny hours are 12am - 12pm, Mon-Sat. Only 1/2 a day on Sunday.

Thanksgiving is soon. Please consider instead of a big meal for your family, donating to your food bank, your time to local charities, or money to organizations to help the needy. A lot of people are going to be struggling by the end of this month. Let's double down as a community. ❤️

Why "scissoring" and not "cuntjunction"? I'm so sorry...

Of course I'm a "reply guy". If you want to write and have no interaction or reply, get a fucking diary, weirdo.

Going to start calling my reply guys First Respondsirs.

There is no other like me, or you.

STOP. this is a selfie checkpoint. you must repost with a cute selfie to proceed. This is as cute as I can muster.

Trying to grow out my hair again. It's at the stage I'd call pompadour + beaver tail mullet + Lego hair.

we should feed everybody actually all the time there is no reason for anyone to be hungry and/or homeless

Flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood, twerk of my twerk.

It's sad to me how many people have become comfortable with dehumanizing others and making it "ok" to wish harm.

gofund.me/dbd60eb45 Y’all, things are dire since my car has been stolen a week before our move. We were counting on having it. Things have been really rough & being on disability, which I’ve been on since my lymphoma diagnosis, limits my budget drastically. If you can help or share I’d be grateful.

Just wanting to add light, kindness, and love to this world. This isn't making amends. This isn't atonement. This is nothing to do with a dark past. I have been left in darkness's grasp I have been left to cruelty's teeth I have been left in lovelessness's icy depths. I want to end that shit.

there is strength in doing an inventory, there is more to it then putting the drink down

For the epsteinth time: If you make excuses for/look past child predators just to maintain party lines, you're an enabler and a monster too.

You can’t spell better without beer and tt’s lol that’s the one send it

ICE employee among 16 men arrested in Minnesota for soliciting sex from a minor

Finally able to take edibles again. I'm back to being a lightweight. WIN/WIN

NEW: Epstein survivors release the most powerful PSA I have ever seen. Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.

why zipper and not penis fly trap

I've given up drinking, but today feels like I need a pub crawl.

Watched the new @realgdt.bsky.social take on Frankenstein. So masterfully told, with a true and unmistakable focus on who the monsters actually are in our world. And again, the art direction is unparalleled. It's on Netflix right now. Highly recommend.

why do storks only bring babies why can’t one bring me a cannoli

More selfies please. I need to have rays of sunshine in this bleak timeline.

Why "scissoring" and not "cuntjunction"? I'm so sorry...

My beard is at the length where I brush it and try to get it neat and tamed, and it's like "Nah, Immuna do my own thing."

Quote post with your own dramatic black and white selfie

It’s always “I wanna post a banger” and never “I wanna bang a poster”.

Re: Epstein’s emails

Goon a movie Goonbusters

hot singles in your area want equal rights

As a semi-sane person I had no idea I'd be yelling at my microwave and dryer this often

I mean fuck men, but also fuck men

You’re not allowed to be mad at me for being an asshole if you were an asshole first.

I think that song "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It" is about a rather intense jigsaw puzzle derby.

I crave endless attention and total isolation at the same time.

Winter, I'm inside you.

Crazy to think this is a whole network of people who primarily are typing on the toilet. Telecommunications, butthole to butthole. Pretty romantic.

Chobani® would be a beautiful name for a baby girl.