We have already created toasters that will need updates. What a time to be alive.

First episode of Channel 5's new mini series on languages being reviewed around the world. Really enjoyed it. youtu.be/m7MU64QuZtU?...

SpaceX employee: oh hey u guys are back early Astronaut: moon's woke SpaceX employee: what? Astronaut: *injecting ketamine into his shrivelled penis* moon's woke

All the MAGA heads can sleep easy tonight knowing dangerous criminals like Amalia are off the streets.

Full story here:

Deranged opinion. "Irish actors use English accents cause Americans think the Irish are mystical creatures." #TheTansAreAtItAgain

"And now we go to the Bob slay, where hundreds of Bobs, Roberts and Robs have been bludgeoned to death. Quite some scenes I am sure you can agree."

Holy shit, another one.

That’s right folks. Kamala Harris has not only found, but captured and killed, the legendary ape man known as Bigfoot

*throws really expensive gift for @wisekingaido.bsky.social in the trash*

DING DING DING, WE HAVE A WINNER! THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS, IT'S FRANK "SO DID THEY" CASTLE, THE PUNISHER!

Added Yakety Sax to that video from Minneapolis

Good lord. At 33 seconds its the shart heard round the world. Mygods. He fucking SHIT himself. Trump shit his goddamn pants in the oval office.

@wisekingaido.bsky.social @peepers.bsky.social I knew it, I knew you bastards would be involved in this somehow. Thank God I never went to that "pool party" at you 'rich friend's house". I smelled a rat right away.

If any of my followers are lawyers, particularly lawyers specializing in defamation law, please DM me.

Sad to inform you guys that after years of being clean, @wisekingaido.bsky.social is mainlining his piss again. I tried to stop him but once that piss hits his vein he becomes an animal 😭

Would a man afraid of boobs name his boat this?

Some of you know. Some of you don't. Being a parent to a teenager fucking sucks. Mum and dad, I'm so sorry I was once one of these "people". I was fucking mild compared to my daughter. A true fucking nightmare.

When he sees the white horse at the end and cocks his hat. It's just the best thing ever 🥰 Love love LOVE this song and video youtu.be/OoJaV-rqsiU?...

The Onion's great, not sure about the new name.

toothpaste for dinner x buddo collab

Good people of Greenland, do not believe @wisekingaido.bsky.social's lies. He will not protect you from Trump and Putin. He will harvest your natural minerals and molest your minke whales!

"Despair came knocking, and I let her in for a while." What a line.

I love classic outlaw country from the 70s; Waylon? Willie and the boys. The mass marketed American country of today fucking sucks. Jingoistic nazi garbage about "My town" or a truck. Orville Peck is doing it right; proper modern outlaw country. He rules. youtu.be/OoJaV-rqsiU?...

That time I tried to blast Space Ghost with my blaster. Didn't know he had force field powers. Pure gutted. 😕

Louvre worthy

Some people were confused by my ICE post. This should clear it up.

Incredible 💯⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Just realized @godisnotaho.bsky.social is kinda like the opposite of Musk's Grok AI. Instead of undressing celebrities, if I post a picture of a scantily clad celebrity, she'll cover them up. Hey Holly, do your thing...

And yacht owners are the only men regularly hunted by whales.

It's mad to me that we went from paying for music to stealing music from Pirate Bay or Limewire in the 2000s to... paying Spotify to steal music for us?

If ICE were trying to deport my good buddy @wisekingaido.bsky.social I'd say, "Hold it right there, officers, you ain't deporting my good buddy Aido without his binky" Then I'd give them his blue blanket and wish him well on his new journey. #1friend #beasties #BFF

Greenland has a cool flag.

I'm holding out for a Martian woman who has it all 😍

Like a wild animal approaching death, it feels like America is in its death throes. The violent, convulsive movements or final, desperate struggles of a living being as it dies. The British Empire did the same thing, as did the Spanish, Portuguese, all the way back to the Roman Empire.

I meant to post this over Christmas but better late than never. It's my new favorite Christmas song, from a time when the British military expected their Irish subservients to fight battles for them. It's an amazing song. Give it a listen if you haven't heard it before. youtu.be/cBGkhPx529g?...

Epic fight. And nice to see the rhino didn't jump in a golf cart and try to run over the muntjac. @wisekingaido.bsky.social

lmao

@wisekingaido.bsky.social Looks like we're going to have to cancel the Shanghai Slobberknocker we had scheduled for April in the carpark of LIDL Shanghai. My man in the city just sent me this. I'M TO HANDSOME TO GO TO JAIL!

What @wisekingaido.bsky.social considers "Hep Patter"

On the bright side, at least the Iraq War inspired some great art, like Revenge of the Sith