There's still time to sign up for my (virtual) three-week query writing workshop. Get your query letter, elevator pitch, sample pages and synopsis ready to submit to agents & editors. writerscircleworkshops.jumbula.com/2026SpringWo...

I ordered from the McDonalds kiosk. I am now chef.

Bid Early, Bid Often www.32auctions.com/MysteryLit_ALZ

No authors are using AI because if you use AI you aren’t an author.

Let's start Monday off with a shot across the bow.

HAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHA <deep breath> No HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Duke won’t solve this until one of their own throws Stephen Miller into an active volcano

Hell yeah Chuck.

Netflix told them to add this scene for the people on their phones only half paying attention.

Didn’t sleep in my Rockwell shirt because I was out at night

Showing up again and again

BELOW: How Chicago feels about kings.

I don’t know, man, by the THIRD worldwide biggest protest ever pointed squarely at me I’d think about changing my attitude or something. Then again I’m not a galactically stupid, dementia-riddled narcissist with poopy pants.

Nothing can improve video of Trevor Bauer getting nuked in the noggin…

Going to the Elite Eight is amazing, but Iowa fans being able to troll the Huskers forever just by counting to five is the greatest gift of all time.

I mean I get it. Five Guys is expensive. Nebraska couldn’t afford it.

In his defense, Fred Hoiberg graduated from Iowa State and counting to five is only covered in their graduate level courses.

ACAB does NOT include good doggos.

Kicking off the week by successfully fighting a parking ticket. We all fight fascism in our own ways.

I married a Hawkeye, and I don’t think it’s fully sunk in for him that they won that game.

In one year, Ben McCollum just did what Steve Alford, Todd Lickliter, and Fran McCaffery all could not do.

Last time the men made the Sweet Sixteen…my senior year

Just your basic 76-degree snow pile

That was the most Kirk Ferentz vs a Mid major style basketball game I’ve ever seen. Just gonna run the ball up the gut.

Really good take on the whole...everything book/art/AI related

I can't wait until it happens, because, like, NOBODY is gonna hold back. It's gonna be non-stop jokes and celebration quite possibly til the end of time.

Misery

Scatman Crothers, Cat Man, Struthers. You can put anything you want on this Web Site, the cops never even check.

People forget this but Chuck Norris jokes were originally Mr. T jokes. I don't know why that changed but clearly the world would have been better if it hadn't

Massive thanks to @tonywirt.com for this new blurb! This baby hits the shelves in six more months!

SkyMiles number is jammed right now but you can send a message if you don’t want to wait on hold

What I learned tonight… 1) I don’t, in fact, remember all the lyrics on Def Leppard Hysteria 2) Because I NEVER knew the lyrics, but instead just made sounds that sounded like lyrics Eddie Vedder in Yellow Ledbetter style 3) The ACTUAL lyrics are mostly just bonkers hair metal non-sequiturs.

We really gotta start weeding these galactically stupid C.H.U.D.s out of society.

Can confirm

I'm torn between wanting to go out and snowblow a layer off the driveway so it doesn't bulid up into an unplowable mess and nah.

Two things can be true at once. 1) He doesn't know what "No Quarter" means. 2) He's on board with not taking prisoners and just executing people. Either way, he's bragging about war crimes.

If you’re still in line STAY IN LINE!!

I don't deny that dogs can sometimes be quite lovely but what I will say is I don't trust their opinions. If a cat recommended me an album it had bought, I'd totally check it out. If a dog did the same, I'd promise to listen to the album, out of politeness, with no intention of actually doing so

If you’re wearing a rain jacket on Wet Day you really don’t understand the reason for the season.

This tweet is 9 years old and it's never been wrong once.

Updated estimates... 30% Mental Illness 20% Stupidity 50% Dementia

They’re still lying to us. www.startribune.com/close-to-650...

Anthony nominations are live. You are LEGALLY allowed to nominate SILENT CREEK.

I mean, I didn’t expect to be invited but it still hurts. That said I’ll allow it because representation matters.

Why am I paying federal taxes again?

so fun fact: recently during the fraud investigations being redone by this season’s feds, MN’s rate of medicaid/medicare fraud was well below the national average nationally, it’s ≈ 6% each year; in minnesota it’s like ≈ 2.5% we know this is vindictive at this point

I am picturing people using a pop tart as a pretend phone and it is getting funnier and funnier to me

brady tkachuk can't wait to get his gold medal so he can try to take off the foil and eat the chocolate inside