glanced at a legal pad of book notes from the summer that I have yet to type up and the top page just says “asshat compounds”

I find it kinda funky I find it kinda sad The dreams in which I’m donkey Are the best I ever had

New linguistics meme dropped

CHRIST ON A BICYCLE: (exclaiming) me

after a week of failed attempts to see shakespeare in the park — including a date we got tix for but was rained out — I have gone full method (started the line at Central Park)

certified bangers aren't enough. i need them notarized too

humbled by this book i’m reading about the lore/language of schoolchildren — like I’ve learned that knocking on our heads to “knock on wood” was originally something kids did to each other to call someone dumb

if you get a labubu may I offer you a laband-aid. thank you I’m sure this is late

thinking about how special it is to adopt a dog. I love our dog and wish I could adopt one million of them

Getting a kind of brain damage from doing the NYT crossword where I now parse every sentence as having a different, dumber meaning

this is gonna sound dumb but how do content creators come up with so many things to say

I don’t think you should be allowed to drive your car to get shakespeare in the park tickets! one is fundamentally antithetical to the other. learn to take public transit or don’t expect a public show

hoping this is a safe space to admit that the word I dislike most in the world is “punny”

“get well soon!” “feel better!” how about don’t tell me what to do

let the record show that my original headline for this newsletter was “Great expectations for young Pips” static.nytimes.com/email-conten...

nearly gotten over my summertime sadness, just in time for regular seasonal depression

Stuff this in your bag of chips: it's Grocery Week in @nygroove.nyc! nygroove.nyc/email/3c1c33...

being born? you mean doing an escape womb?

i am genuinely constantly looking for this emoji: 🧐 and can never find it!! convinced some sicko out there is hiding it from me

evidence of the permanent damage punning has done to my brain: I was trying to write the word “wood” for a column and instead wrote “would,” then “whood” (i started thinking about wh-words this could be) and then i had to take a beat before I remembered what wood was

thinking about those kids who performed the entire Ok Go music treadmill sequence for Here it Goes Again at their high school talent show. I hope they’re thriving

uptick in veganism, you might say

Sweet Caroline is playing faintly somewhere outside my bedroom window and it feels like the first good feeling I’ve had in weeks

am I the only one alarmed by how often we are being asked to create a “passkey” with our fingerprints and/or faces

cannot express how much I hate it when a mosquito steals my blood. can’t even get it back smdh

it’s anyone’s guess as to when i will recover from the bird’s eye chili i bit into 100 hours ago

am I allowed to describe a thesaurus as ran through

what happens in vegas, nobody stays in vegas

ngl they got me with calling thursday “friday jr”

serious question: how does something get called a “bestseller” within 6 hours of it dropping— like even if everyone is rushing to buy it, what are you comparing it to?

We can do it everybody www.avibagla.com/blueskydicti...

i know what will save it: another restaurant serving $40 small plates

thinking about how as a kid I visited a flash site every day to feed a stick figure muffins until she exploded

getting ready to repeat a “party line” as in citing the same reason over and over that I can’t make the party (due to b**k)

we need to bring back “whence” - perfect word, grammatically useful

wasps I hate you and stay away from me, but also thank you for inventing figs

kind of wild that we measure our height in cms and inches. what’s the point of comparison, ants? basically I should just say that I am 126 ants tall

crazy not to text me back when I’m manic.... it’s been a full 3 minutes so I don’t know what you’re doing that could be more important

mental health status: eating pasta on toast

say what you will about the soupy heat: it does wonders for my skin and hair

it’s honestly disgraceful how much I like working under pressure. “my kingdom for a deadline!”-coded

1% of free-stuff channel members have claimed 99% of items posted to the free-stuff channel at my office. is this class consciousness

I love living in a studio. watching my burrito cook in the microwave while sitting on the toilet

drives me crazy when plants’ official names are like “false lily” or “fool’s indigo” … judgy much

I'm feeling grumpy, so in an attempt to change that I am posting these old fake Antiques Roadshow pictures that make me laugh

ran out of all my remaining Lingstitute notebook space bc of how much I wrote down from this episode. the whole series is worth seeing for context of what’s being discussed (free on youtube) but if there’s only one ep you watch let it be this www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5Ut...

slopulism

I feel like “empirical” can either be a good or bad word. good in the sense that it’s about facts based on observation, but bad in that it gate-keeps the outer edges of what has been deemed worth observing

have there been actual studies about the linguistic microcosm of reality tv? I don’t think I’ve heard comfortability/uncomfortability anywhere but on these shows (also uncomfy, thank you chelsea LiB season 6) and I feel like the use of “[blank] and I” as object v subject is also rarer save for there

pre-21: got carded 😒 post-31: got carded 😌