There is nothing centrists Dems love more than the Police.

@dennycarter.bsky.social reports of flurries for the Bears game. I can already hear my fellow fans starting to say “Bear Weather” and I want to jump off a cliff.

Bluey and Peppa Pig need to be next. I want an Axis of Reasonable Childrens Programming Heroes.

If you have a centrist Dem consultant or firm or think tank in your phone as a recent call, you may gather your things and turn you badge in at the door.

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

God this shit is so fucking embarrassing. Centrists Dems can go away forever.

Chucky my boy, I know the centrists think tanks out there really want you to believe the American people are incapable of following more than one news story at a time but I guarantee you I have enough rage chambers to be mad about groceries, the Epstein files and the war crimes. Also, retire please.

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier

@dennycarter.bsky.social Many are saying about how prophetic your writing is.

The vibes will be immaculate when @hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social and @schumer.senate.gov get that bipartisan censure of the President passed in 2027 for these Venezuelan war crimes. This is the action they know the American people crave.

You have to go through Congress for anything resembling this type of war. Round up Massie and Paul types and have him removed. The people in this administration are on actual drugs and have insatiable bloodlust and bespoke mental illnesses. He has to go, and everybody with him.

IT FINALLY HAPPENED I AM ON A PLANE WITH A BABY WHO SAYS “HI” TO EVERYONE AS HE GOES DOWN THE AISLE

Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance GLAM!

Awww poor baby.

Heywood Allen? The auteur?

The 2018 Benedict Cumberbatch Grinch is far superior to the 1966 TV special.

Watching the Rankin Bass Rudolph and it occurred to me Donner would definitely be MAGA

They don’t get it. They never will. PRIMARY ALL OF THEM.

Me to my Wegovy injector this morning, knowing how I’m going to eat tonight:

I don’t even wanna be around anymore

Your 2025 Chicago Bears

After you help your boss convert a doc to PDF

Nix looks like his face is rejecting a Brian Bosworth circa ‘87 hair transplant.

“Billy, this guy hit .342 with 48 homers and 120 RBI’s… his only defect is he has the Woke Mind Virus”

“Hello? Police? Yes, I’m camping in a parking lot and character actor John Turturro is wandering around. Talking to a make believe camera crew and giving boilerplate football analyst takes.”

Fucking PREACH.

Every time they cut to Pete Carrol on the sidelines, this is what I see:

@aoc.bsky.social says of Mamdani victory: "A lot of people...are willing to talk about party unity when it serves them, but not party unity when it serves everybody." "We have a future to fight for, and we're either going to do that together or you're going to be left behind."

@dennycarter.bsky.social I believe this is analytics…

Sports Dynasties are boring.

Awful

So, the Boomers final legacy is going to be consistently and hilariously getting fooled by AI-slop. What a way to go….

MLB HISTORICAL FACTS: In 2006, the Jacked Bird from the Blue Jays logo was named in the Mitchell Report, alongside Mark McGuire and Roger Clemens. He didn’t deny it, saying, “We knew we weren’t taking bird seed”

Stop bunting.

“And did you see all the glass bridges in Portland? They’re all plywood now too. So many old woman just jumping on the with heavy rocks. The dogs save the babies, it’s very brave. We call them good dogs”

Character Actor Brian Thomas’ most challenging role yet.

@drewmagary.bsky.social im just starting my Wegovy journey — partly because you made it sound not that bad, and reduced some of the stigma in my mind — and I just wanted to say thanks and see how it’s going for you since the last Funbag back in January that you wrote?

@drewmagary.bsky.social SOUND THE ALARM www.brooklynvegan.com/is-bob-mould...

Fucking RAFFI from the top rope. He’s coming out with a stronger statement on Trump than @hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social or @schumer.senate.gov