This is now my favorite movie tagline of all time

I think this year my posts were too erudite and I’m looking to post even dumber in 2026

Man if Miami doesn't catch that pass right there all the Mario memes would be coming back. What a gutsy call there.

Cupcakes or cake or something cake adjacent sounds fucking fire right now

Me (beer, weed) and dog (gabapentin) gettin tore up

Real talk I want to meet the previous owner of my house just to chat

People talking about New Year’s Eve movies as if Garry Marshall didn’t eat everyone’s lunch

HEY BABY I HEAR THE BLUES A CALLIN TOSSED SALADS AND SCRAMBLED EGGS

Art

I choose to remain positive that 2026 will be a good year because wtf is wrong with you why you going into a new year, into the unknown, thinking it’s going to be shit why you doing that that’s not healthy

*cracking open the first jai alai of the night*

It's all a smokescreen *and it has always been*. The issue is simple: there is an illegal, unjustified, aggressive invasion, and there are those defending against it. Everyone who has tried to complicate that fact has abandoned their principles once convenient.

As a cis white man who is around almost exclusively cis white men and forced to be around conservative cis white men, they need to experience real pain to get them to learn damn near *anything*

It’s going to be funny as hell when all these daycare investigators suddenly stop pulling this shit when Winter Break is finished

lol battery life on children’s toys is one of the great mysteries have stuff that is constantly dying and we have one toy that I can’t remember ever putting in the batteries and it still runs after about 2 years

Upon review, the actual, keeping it 💯 take about favorite music videos was actually Petey Pablo’s “Freek-a-Leek” for obvious reasons

My only pros vs joes adjacent take I have is I bet I could kick a mean onside kick. When I kick that thing, buddy, I don’t have the foggiest where that thing is going.

Miami vs OSU is so cursed in FL truly two of the most insane fanbases being the most extra they can be out here

In all seriousness we should all be thanking whatever you worship that our enemies are so fucking committed to not building sustainable coalitions

I’m On Here a lot, more than I should be, quite frankly, and I still do not understand the term, “Blue MAGA” and what that means exactly

Can’t stress enough that peeling off just enough Boomer men has an insane cascade effect due to the fact that they literally wear their displeasure on their sleeve. Out and saw a FL Boomer Man wearing a Christmas sweater that says, “The only thing destroying this country are the billionaires”

An assembly of the ultimate slackers, stoners, Florida men, and assorted ne’er-do-wells are gathered to Key West in order to correctly select the captain’s hat and preferred weed paraphernalia that belonged to the previous Jimmy

Imagine trying to stunt on George Clooney as you fumble through your first few months in a job you're clearly terrible at

The decline of MTV is a masterclass in the failure of imagination. Just couldn’t stop huffing the True Life fumes and once that well dried, actually wound up having a stacked, almost early Grantland level of writers available, and then cut that. Could’ve had it all, MTV, and you blew it.

Interesting part about fandom culture, and this gets kind of important as leaks into politics, is that a major part of fandom is an unhinged vitriol for the entity seen as its opposition and how that dynamic between love for the thing you like vs hate for its opposition is skewing towards the hate

It's just that as we lurch further into fandom politics we don't have the institutional glue to create and sustain majorities so instead the lockout is really a bank shot about negatively polarizing a critical mass of voters against the other guy

Nabisco Merry Makers (circa 1961-circa 1967): Thick, hearty, buttery snack crackers, in a variety of geometric shapes, flavored like a combination of roast beef and roast pork

[posting from the kitchen] Listen, I love all my spatulas, spoons, and tongs the same. [posting from the patio after everyone has gone to bed] There’s just something about Spatchy that just works better can’t explain it, don’t want to.

Where’s our boy Jain saying this Iowa Senate win is horseshit

been reading and now watching the polar express and the brutalist architecture of the North Pole and the elves and Santa are Soviet lol

Taco Bell Triple Steak Stack (2011-2013, 2015): A triple serving (4.5 ounces) of sliced, marinated steak, covered in a melted 3-cheese blend, served in a warm, folded flatbread

lol the little map thing floating around has a lot of Georgia when I think people mean Atlanta

It gave us Jarnathan that’s worthy of a trilogy by itself

Anyone else besides Beyoncé have the career trajectory where their best output is towards the end of their career (maybe?) Person who’s been pretty damn famous since 1999 or so has their best work in 2016-2026 that’s crazy and Beyoncé doesn’t have *any* bad albums.

Yeah this actually does encapsulate a lot of the 00s. They got the copyright avoided Propellerheads Matrix lobby fight music and the guy is stealing what’s supposed to be a DVD of The Blair Witch Project.

The Marjorie Taylor Greene conciliation tour is fascinating to watch - it doesn't accomplish its stated goals of damaging Trump any more than she was willing to do on her own, but it's still an excuse for centrists to browbeat leftists for "failing to think strategically"

This sounds crazy but also: should people just wait for the Jets to draft a QB high and then just wait until it all falls apart and kick the tires on their QB once they run a rebuild in 2 years?

Only seen one episode of the latest batch of ST5 but this show has so far made the choice that it’s just going to give you what you want So like, the teacher is going to die and so is Steve and Dustin is going to be an actual hero. His gf is going to show up and probably command the internet.

Oh boy it’s a baby off with an acquaintance Idgaf what your kid can do I’m running own race here but man do I want to fuck with this situation and write some equation on a dry erase board and say she did it

The thing is, you don’t have to say fucking *anything* about MTG standing outside her own tent pissing in. Nothing. She’s going to do what she’s doing regardless of anyone to her left (big spectrum) says about it. The Popular Front idea doesn’t require constant praise for its most fringe.

Tbh experiencing 47 degree weather has me not wanting to live anywhere in the US it’s too cold I just don’t want to feel cold it sucks

lol idk that looked like pi

The 2025 NFL season is one of the whackiest in recent memory (laudatory)

I wish I could say Banchero would maintain this level of play throughout the season. I wish. But the Orlando Magic fandom is no fairy tale world.

AVATAR 4 (2029)

Ngl this is liberating there’s no amount of hot wings and samosas I can eat that will make me feel like I ruined anything after I do the deed

Lmao ever seen a two year old rock out to evenflow