You crit your joke “I’ll just persuade him not to fight me” roll and now the DM has to act out the Big Bad being nice to you instead of the huge set piece fight they spent months designing

The important thing is not whether the Trump performing sexual favors for Bill Clinton thing is true. The important thing is that we all pretend it’s true, and that someone asks Trump about it every day.

I know - I know!! - the answer to the hideous cult of personality destroying the world is not a different cult of personality, but fuck me this guy has got it

is this really the world you want your children to live in, and your children’s children,

"i asked chatgpt" yeah well i went to the doctor, i went to the mountains, i looked to the children, i drank from the fountains there's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line and the less I seek my source for some definitive closer I am to fine

Would.

on January 6th, while attempting to overthrow an election, multiple rioters wore Nazi paraphernalia. they declared their intent to murder elected officials. the right stood steadfastly behind them and are now more powerful than ever. you can stand behind someone waving a Mexican flag.

this is like drake and kendrick lamar but they're both drake

LET’S FUCKING GO I know people at UBC talk to me if you want to go into chem or pharma

At the sight of blackbirds Flying in a green light, Even the bawds of euphony Would cry out sharply Motherfucker.

It is 2002. I am 18 years old. We are in a once-in-a-generation economic crisis. It is 2008. I am 24 years old. We are in a once-in-a-generation economic crisis. It is 2020. I am 36 years old. We are in a once-in-a-generation economic crisis. It is 2025. I am 41 years old. We are in a—

I'm just going to put this here in case anyone else is also insane

This was a really great day to not be able to look at my phone for almost the whole day.

I love dumb traditions we just made up!! They are the only worthwhile traditions.

Ahh I finally get it! It’s called The Onion because it makes Alex Jones cry!

So it goes.

All right bitches I am watching election coverage on the actual news in a Chili’s in the Calgary airport, how many Bad Choices can I make before I have to get on a plane

If you're still online to go insane today, STAY ONLINE. If you stay online until 8pm, they HAVE to let you go insane.

Hello, it’s me, the dumbest person in the entire world, buying iced tea and dried fruit at the gas station.

I was wondering why my Bluesky feed was suddenly all furry art then realized I was on the Discover tab. I thought all the furries were on mastodon though?

I feel like this man vs bear discourse is missing the point a bit: yes a culture that assumes all men are predators on the basis of their gender is bad, actually, but the solution is not solely “men stop being predatory.”

HAPPY NEW MURDERBOT DAY

okay fine hello I joined the other billionaire's website