sublime genuinely furious I didn’t write this

maybe your news website is dying because every 3 millimeters of scrolling leads to a new video ad or "sign up for our newsletter!" pop-up modal I have to X out of and then the new ads that auto-load fuck up the text and now I have to scroll half a page to read the paragraph I was just on fuck you

I’m always so happy when I see someone bring up NEAR DARK! It’s wildly underrated.

I have autographed literally thousands of items and a grand total of none of them have been signed in cursive. There are a lot of useful things to teach kids of that age, and cursive handwriting isn’t one of them.

we’re not going to get anywhere until we stop letting companies pay millions in settlements instead of putting their leadership in fucking jail

*and gifted guitarist and musical performer

Elizabeth Banks

O QUA TANGIN WANN

You know what? I’ve never read it. I’ll start it tomorrow. I really liked the night watch books, so it’ll be fun to go back to the beginning.

release the palm beach pete files

Unpopular opinion, but I stand by it: If you’re convicted of DUI, you should lose the privilege of driving for the rest of your life.

I’ve always found it amusing that the people who decry ‘bad writing’ for a TV show (especially Star Trek) have never — not even once — read the actual script.

So there is simply a 375 million dollar price tag on exploiting children

super-pumped to use Disney characters on Sora — I th- wait what

omg @kickgirl.bsky.social Facebook just suggested that I should be friends with the actual Dan Jurgens and I’m dying

My dentist was a Naval dentist for many years. Ystday while looking at my xrays she points at something Her: that’s an air bubble Me: 😮 Her: nothing to worry about Me: 😀 Her: unless you are a Naval diver Me: *doing physics in my head* 😮 Her: 🤓 Me: IMPLODING TEETH?!? Her: imploding teeth Me: 🤯

the human body was not designed to know what the worst person in the world is doing every fifteen minutes

Note: The largest power plant in Iran is Damavand, a natural gas plant. It is in Pakdasht (southeast of Tehran) and is surrounded by about half-a-million people, overwhelmingly civilians.

I was a friend of jamis

someone at abc world news tonight is the world’s biggest fan of punch the monkey and it is legitimately embarrassing

obviously, Marty McFly should not have stolen Johnny B Goode from Chuck Berry, but I also think that Huey Lewis shouldn’t have stolen Power of Love from Marty and the Pinheads

Yes. Visible overlapping disqualifiers. Platner is the Gryffindor neck tat of politics.

I’ll go the other way on the relationship part: Our government has fucked up marriage for a lot of different people for an extremely long time, and they should exit the market. Let people contract up however they’d like.

This is for the students that had to spend the last week of the term scrubbing Braka's funk out of the atrium. You are *definitely* heroes.

Vig Meownono (aka Mister Boy) has been with us for three years! He is, sadly, overworked. He takes his role as 3D printing and audio production supervisor very seriously. He is also the house detective as well as the official judge of when we have stayed in bed too long.

if you think I’m fat now wait until I learn how to teleport to waffle house

Quintessential album…

people online are hating on chuck norris because he was a fascist asshat kids. hear me. old gen-x *had* to like chuck norris we didn’t grow up with cable and his movies were cheap to license so they were on UHF constantly we had no choice our tv options were often chuck norris or golf be nice

Why is the president going to Congress for money when all his billionaire friends are a text away? Bezos is worth about $200B Musk is worth over $800B That’s just two dudes, a bunch of them could work together and split it. Are they simply not very patriotic or something?

RIP Chuck Norris 1940-2026

I actually got my first TV writing job because of ICQ!

Show someone who absolutely rocks a hat (not Indiana Jones)

Listen, everyone, this is a major event! Vonda McIntyre’s last novel will FINALLY be published, 15th May, by Aqueduct Press. It’s fabulous. Of course it is! @vondanmcintyre.bsky.social @clarionwest.bsky.social More here: www.aqueductpress.com/books/978-1-...

A lot of talented people worked hard to make this book an insanely deep dive into the art and design of Lower Decks!

holy shit

I suspect that ‘Markwayne’ is the sort of thing you name your child when you’re not absolutely sure who the dad is.

Grace Kuhlenschmidt has gotten about ten times funnier within the past year without losing any of her manic theater kid charm.

There’s only one choice. The worst song of all time. It is from an album that sold 15 million copies. The song is one minute and nine seconds long, and will encourage you to pursue the sweet release of death. youtu.be/5CU7CUQGO6A?...

be the doc brown you want to see in the world

Mad geniuses don't want unchecked, consequence-free power, they want a garage they can tinker and become bent old eccentrics in

Afroman found not liable. A complete victory for the rapper and a massive unforced error from the cops and their attorney. www.billboard.com/pro/afroman-...

If you loved ThinkGeek, a big reason for our success came from Dave - he helped me out with our unaired ThinkGeek vs. Zombies pilot, but I digress… He needs your help, but hates to have to ask for it. Let’s show him our little monkey hearts are just as strong as our BRAAAAAINS!

middle aged prescription capri sun

I love ‘Dune.’ 🧵 The thing that bothers me the most about Dune is that the wrong parts stay relevant. Reading it as a teenager in the 90s, the oil allegory was strong. But that was in the oil-addicted present — we’d all be on renewables in the future. I turn fifty this year. What the fuck.

Live now!!