ARE WE NOT MEN

there should be a prank show about unbelievably obscure dork shit like slipping a kid fifty bucks to walk up to william gibson and ask him what a pay phone is

I don’t want to ask why William Gibson knows what chihuahua poop looks like, but he’s right.

awkward: coming up with ridiculous puns for nonexistent stores, like a framing shop called ‘fo shizzle my bezel’ while also refusing to shop in any store that uses a pun in their name ‘nothing bundt cakes’ can eat a dick

it’s a buddy movie but the buddies are rod serling and richard matheson and they’re traveling around the country putting on community theatre productions that make the audience think and scream

turns out that it doesn’t actually matter that games workshop has the most detailed plastic models if you’re not into grimdark, because that’s all they make

I Have No Mouth, And I Must Pih

Ladies and gentlemen... the weekend. (also: you are important and are not alone 🧡)

I am not a medical professional but I’m still fairly certain that among women with sexual preferences their preferences are not determined by any condition of Jesse Watters’ penis. Bold of him to admit that he’s never had a threesome with two women, but I digress.

Hi, Lush! I DJed one of your store openings. Last time I was in a Lush, it was the store in Scottsdale and absolutely no one tried to help me in any way. Plenty of time for every woman that walked in, though. I’ve spent thousands of dollars with you, but haven’t been back to Lush since. Welcome!

I mean… yes. Running a small independent business is hard. It’s supposed to be. If your company isn’t making it, shut it down. You can’t complain your way to more sales.

Meanwhile memory chips are increasing in price so fast that by the time Neuromancer comes out this fall you will *actually* be able to get killed in Chiba City for 3 MB of hot RAM.

I’ve got bad news for Tom Emmer. I’ve worked on a mission critical high availability project for one of the world’s largest banks. One of my teammates was a brilliant Somalian immigrant to the US. She has a husband and a kid and they live in the suburbs. They’re assimilating just fine, you dick.

Good. They bought their fear with cowardice. I am pleased it has arrived.

Friends and neighbors, welcome to the @bradlander.bsky.social VICTORY THREAD! Lander won the D primary in NY-10 by over THIRTY (30) points! Some photos from this glorious night...

trump’s approval ratings with genx would spike if he had actually filled the reflecting pool with ecto cooler

That's right, friends! STARLOG is back and I'm the editor-in-chief. We have so much good stuff for you in our first issue, coming this November!! Science! Sci-fi! Fantastic weirdness! Plus you can subscribe now to our podcast hosted by @jhoffman.bsky.social and @da7e.com!

emmett: It’s weird when a couple shares a Facebook account. neysha (shouting in an accent that I lovingly and carefully refer to as ‘Cajun Alligator’): WHO CHEATED?

Joan Cusack and Conan deserve Oscars.

feels like we’re a few hours away from the president announcing that the reflecting pool will be drained and cleaned by filling it 50/50 with ammonia and bleach

Where are they hiding the 47 year old tradwives??

Them: So it has a panoramic view-- Me: Look I'll make it all manageable. Them: Me: Them: Us: PICK AND CHOOSE, SIT AND LOSE, ALL YOU DIFFERENT CREWS

Move that henceforth all television shows and movies must contain Stephen Root. Frankly, this is long overdue and is probably the move that will save Hollywood.

titanium white payne’s grey maga blue

Ladies and gentlemen... the weekend. (also: you are important and are not alone 🧡)

Any Republican on television talking about federal spending, the deficit or the national debt should get hit with one of those buckets of nickelodeon slime. We know for sure that they don’t mean a goddamn word of it, and we should no longer indulge their dead-end economic fantasies.

All you have to do to get ahead is get a good education, work really hard, have the right mom, and be willing to work for the antichrist

“100% reflecting pool. This will put hairs on your chest.”

one thing about me… I’m gonna overdo it

Not my best work, but felt like this was what's on the menu for Bsky today.

I got a question in an interview today. “Are you comfortable using open source software?” No. I use it, write it, write about it, raise money for it, advise projects that use it, give talks at conferences about it and have been working with it every day for nearly 30 years. Don’t kink-shame.

republicans mistrust journalism and hate media but are somehow deeply devoted to getting in front of mics and cameras and saying weird nonsense which is accurately reported by the media viewers think the weird nonsense is weird nonsense so republicans mistrust journalism and hate media

you leftist idiots just don’t get it the President changed the reflecting pool to honor military test pilot and American hero Hal Jordan

do you make good decisions when you’re angry? do you think that subjecting yourself to content that makes you angry is a smart idea? do you think that maybe for your own personal enjoyment of this too-short life, you may owe it to yourself to stop engaging with content that enrages you?

it is not a reflecting pool it is a national monument to trump’s failures

Have you tried to buy a device with a computer chip in it lately?

I hate the fucking cowboys but I’ll watch every second of the reality show about their cheerleaders

I think the people of DC probably deserve a nice free movie night. Once a quarter we’ll put out seats, screens, soda and popcorn. The White House wouldn’t belong to me, it’s the people’s house. Being a good neighbor in the district would be important to me.

The death of 60 Minutes and the (yes, decade-long) ascendancy of Last Week Tonight has some Highlander there-can-be-only-one vibes

Radio Head

[taking the deepest possible breath] the Dutch East India Company was established in 1602,

a prince from zamunda showed up to find his queen in the 1980s and now it’s a whole thing

the tarp is going to make a lot more sense when david copperfield rolls up in a limo at 4am

we really should consider another option — they’re going to take the letters down but put up an anagram like John Paddled Tantrum

this is government waste just send up tom holland with an angle grinder

I don’t know who’s taking his name off of the front of the building but I’m very interested to learn more about their union they’ve been shooting the shit for about an hour and it’s midnight there now

I want to know two things: 1. What is your favorite candy? 2. Which is your favorite and most *dependable* candy, the favorite that you can easily buy where you live?

RIP Gene Shalit 1926-2026

friday thoughts: it is weird that a lot of people who buy yachts have never actually lived aboard for any amount of time it is also weird that a lot of people who want to retire to a ranch or a farm have no experience working on a ranch or farm these are both overrated and a huge pain in the ass