danielle accidentally spilled a cup of rice on the ground and as the dog rushed in to immediately hoover up every individual grain she could get her nose on she said “oh no! the dog’s a vampire!”

trying to become the first person banned from doesthedogdie dot com

@johncullen.bsky.social I need someone else to commiserate with me that Steven on tonight’s episode of Jeopardy keeps using “what’s” as his answer for proper nouns

I’ve been secretly hoping he’d do one these for forever. Very cool youtu.be/SClCi3L0rBo?...

i met @joshgondelman.bsky.social at the PUP/Jeff show last night and i need the world to know he is exactly as friendly and charming in person as he is on the internet. what a delightful fella!!!

absolutely hilarious watching @jeffrosenstock.bsky.social in this room approximately 3 miles from my old apartment where he played my kitchen to 25 people

i’ve had a migraine since like…tuesday, i’m sure going to the big rock and roll show tomorrow night will be fine

apropos of nothing, i think i will continue to do my best to live my life in a way that does not inspire people to celebrate my death

it’s been a rough Tuesday but it’s nice to take a moment to #RememberSomeGuys

it’s baseball night in america everyone

i saw the butt fumble live and in person

what if they were called bug country instead of big country

cade cavalli better throw every pitch middle middle today

sprucing up the guest room and uhhhh i’ve got some questions

to quote @andylevy.net, baseball is stupid

new anarchist’s cookbook just dropped

forget Tom of Finland, it’s Don of Canada now

i know the bucks interview was a pre-tape but honestly i think it should be canon that renee has teleportation powers now #AEWDynamite

rip to metallica’s best bassist

cats posing like a damn 70s adult contemporary album cover

I need a hand everyone. These 3 showed up in June with no mom, and I'm fostering them now. However, the one I'm holding in the pic needs its leg amputated. Between that, the first shots, getting them fixed etc it's expensive. Any help would be appreciated. I put my info in a pic

man I’m 5 and a half hours into wrestling and I’m still jazzed, that’s the highest praise I can give All In

first 20 minutes of this show has me hyped enough to run through a damn wall #AEWDynamite

i made this when i should have been doing yard work earlier

Fortunato (coughing): You’re certain the Criterion Closet is down here Montresor (picking up a trowel): Definitely. Have you thought about your picks yet

all hail brody king

been haunted by a dream i had the other night where everyone was trying to tell me that chimneys were now called “grimneys” and it made me madder than i have ever been in waking life

our most abundant renewable resource in america is absolute dipshit centrists who simultaneously hold the thought “the left is not important enough to listen to for policy” and “the left is powerful enough to tank a campaign that seemed obsessed with shooting itself in the foot”

borders are fake, no human is illegal & dedicating your life to upholding a system based on arbitrary lines drawn on a map is the most embarrassing fucking choice you can make. i hope there’s an afterlife so everyone involved in that can get the justice they deserve that they’ll never face on earth

not sure there's a more embarrassing profession than ICE agent. Oh, you dress like a soldier to abduct sous chefs and throw flashbangs at protesters? Get a real job you loser

BRETT BATY

Elon Musk should do something drastic to show how upset he is at Donald Trump!

paid the greatest compliment by a neighbor who saw us on our walk and said Grace is always so pleasant every time they see her

let Eric Adams coach the Knicks you cowards

happy pride month, i would show you a pic of a rainbow of flower blooms but some asshole rabbit chomped them all down in one night so now i dont know what to do. will the bee balm come back? should i eat the rabbit? are all of lifes pursuits in vain?

man i hate the dodgers

spending the rest of my afternoon imagining how jar jar binks would have handled 9/11

the 1999 William H Macy classic “Mystery Men”

i made a playlist out of this and am forcing my coworkers to listen to it so they can understand how bad we had it in the wake of 9/11

Mother must have her shrimp

so many people visiting the grand nagus

this should be ILLEGAL

the holiday celebrator has logged on

watching baseball @jonbois.bsky.social

the face of someone who purred so loud the vet couldn’t check his heart rate

as a Subaru shareholder (it’s true!) let me say: S T I N K Y!!!!!!!!!!

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