I just logged into goodreads for the first time in eons, only to be reminded that I'm kind of an asshole.

both of my wolves are seepy

YOU'RE AI.

There's no excuse for my phone not remembering the word CRAMMIT.

The thought that reality may be different than TV may cause Evil Chauncey Gardiner to decompensate.

Every. Freaking. Time.

I want to believe. (Actually, I do.)

i was offline today how many watergates did i miss

My wife asked me some time ago to build an automated door opener / closer for the coop, and needless to say, our design firm takes this very seriously

me: i’d like to show off my arms clerk: okay me: and i want to look snazzy clerk: gotcha me: but also ward off vampires clerk: wait right here

Confidentally going to bed right after my 1am frozen burrito I'm sure this is a very good life choice thank you, yes.

hey wait everybody I have an idea what if we instead do none of this

I can't focus on what I'm supposed to do so I'm putting quotes I like on snippets of my paintings. MAGIC, MOTHERFUCKER.

Sarah said to, so let's do it.

"The Woke Left keeps calling us Nazis and fascists and it boggles the mind!"

Okay, wow.

wait the rapture took only my clothes

Allow me to present: an foote.

things in your house that are liars dressers ok i thought the list would be longer

BLUESKY query: I have video autoplay turned off and sound muted. But when I play a video it automatically turns the volume on. Please don't make me hear that man's voice. Is there a way to stop this? (on here, not on my devices)

Now that I have 3 cats I'm half a breath away from calling any person I see 'kitty' at any given time.

let me share a little story about a remarkable wasp that I encountered yesterday in our local deserts I stumbled across her, and scrambled to get a few crappy photos .... but then realized that she had a burrow, perhaps a better photo op was possible ?? here she is at her burrow entrance.

24 hours of John Coltrane Tuesday - his birthday 🖤🖤🖤

I've just used the Post Save for the first time ... 👀

aka the only season that matters

I have to think that once you've truly broken reality you can't control what happens next, right? That's what I'm thinking about.

This @joycewhitevance.bsky.social piece on what happened last night is 🔥🔥🔥 joycevance.substack.com/p/show-me-th...

The work of the day, so far. It was going to be a skirt but then it wanted to be dress so okay, I'm making it into a dress. I hope that's its last request though — eventually I'd like it to be finished. 😜

Ironing is only valuable as a sewing tool #changemymind (you can't change my mind)

here's what i do and what i'm building right now (1-of-a-kind improvised eclectic clothing)

second smaller pipe for the inner alien mouth

the whale car wash, n. 50th & meridian, oklahoma city, oklahoma, 1979

I wanted to get a video of this ghost crab but every time I got close to their hole they scuttled back in, so I tried getting clever with it. I made a little sandcastle and shoved my phone into it, hit record, and walked away. Crab was VERY suspicious of this addition to their environment.

Inside you are two wolves

We left the house after dark! As we put our shoes on I said "It's just like when we'd go out to see a band, except it's a prescription, at the pharmacy."

i am not surprised to see authoritarians and fascists take aim at hollywood specifically because they understand its power, and i am pained to see this happen, but i can also say this: CREATIVITY and STORYTELLING and ART cannot be stopped, not on a small scale, not on the large scale

Left or Right Ain't Helpful No More The Charlie Kirk Discourse Proves It — Kamau Bell wkamaubell.substack.com/p/left-or-ri...?

when I forget a friend's baby's name I just call it "Hamlet" until they correct me

I never thought America's nosedive into fascism would be so damn embarrassing. This is all incredibly stupid as hell.

HA! Thank you. I wish 40 years ago someone had told me 1. YOU HAVE ADHD and 2. Just start your own business right now.

current status: looking up poop photos to see if it's a possum, skunk, raccoon or Other sharing our feral cat's food. Whoever they are they're just pooping in the driveway like animals.

*inventing clam chowder* Hey guys, you know those slugs that live in the rocks on the beach? We should put those in some kind of hot milk soup

Maddie's cat-scale quilt just came out of the dryer; she missed it. (The wonderful people at her foster home gave it to us when we adopted her, awwwww.)

My best friend who is a werewolf is in love with the newborn baby I gave birth to in your Airbnb and now we're being charged a pet fee AND a cleaning fee? *I brush a strand of copper-red hair out of my grey-blue eyes*

I think a bowl of gravy would fix me.

Post a movie you like with a terrible rotten tomatoes score. Oh come ON. This movie is a blast.

i mentioned something to my coworker about alan dershowitz and he said incredulously, “the counting crows singer?!”

and those ears are working hard too

It's always handy to find an "Oh my. You eyes are just so beautiful 😍😳 How are you today?" in someone's replies so you can block them and move along.

"Well, let me check my calendar. Nope, sorry, all booked up."