When you know the party is over

"My wifes gone on a tour of casinos in south-west China" "Tibet?" "Nah, mainly for the buffet breakfasts"

"My wife's gone to see Han Solo at the Star Wars hotel in Disneyland!" "Orlando?" "She'll be disappointed, but he'll do at a push"

"My wife's band got booked to play a gig in Jurong Island!" "Singapore?" "Yeah, and the drummer's crap too."

The comedian’s temptation

Click to join the waiting room for the queue to the presale

I can highly recommend Do The Thing shows. @splotkin.bsky.social and Iain are a joy to watch and @stellartim.bsky.social is there too.

Good news! Though Stellar Firma Live on the 7th of November is now SOLD OUT you can still get tickets to Do The Thing: Choose Your Own Musical on the 8th at The Actors Pub and Theatre. It's a fully Improvised musical adventure with live accompaniment and lots of me being bullied TICKET LINK BELOW!

"I'm cancelling your show ... for a week!"

They just don’t put the effort into DVD special features any more

I think this is the most up my street. What a street.

And here's my assistant, Little Parker Booowles!

I would take any level of cognitive disadvantage over looking like this

I was today years old when I realised that this cunt was supposed to be an aardvark

You guys made me google what a groyper is and it completely ruined my morning shit

Thinking about Charlie Kirk

Political violence has no place in any society but I’m glad the cunt is dead

My mum keeps this in the kitchen, but I decided to move it. So far, she hasn’t noticed.

Everything I’ve read about Silksong makes me think… nah

Nadine Dorries joins Nigel Farage’s Reform UK.

The more I think about it the more The Brutalist was just a very high stakes episode of Grand Designs

The repugnant transphobia of the creator aside, what is the actual point of the new Harry Potter show? All it is is new actors doing the same shit

www.reddit.com/r/transgende... Guess what? The story about the trans M&S employee and the bra fitting is a pack of lies and distortions. Want to know what really happened and how colleagues stood up for her? Read her own account here.

Thanks google AI but I meant to type “shut”…

I don’t think it’s semantically possible to ban ‘barely legal’ content www.theguardian.com/society/2025...

The elderly woman next to me loudly tutting at the commandant of Auschwitz telling his doctor he had two bowel movements per day during The Zone of Interest

Help this DJ is playing too much Sabrina Carpenter!

Looks like my nightly viewing of Mr Nanny is going to be extra poignant

There was a time when you could describe Gaza as an "open-air prison," and people would scoff at the ludicrous hyperbole, and now we're at "Gaza is an open-air death camp" and that's just ... true.

Bought a new thing today which has had the effect of making all my old things look shit. Not sure if this is a net gain?

@theguardian.com hi i have an idea for an opinion piece I’d like to write but there is no way to contact you on the website any more. How can I do this? My mum had a similar condition to this he condition the husband in the salt path was claimed to have

Another day, another revelation…

I’m not saying I’m Johnny Cash or anything but my dad literally called me Su in a text just now

And so it seems *chuckle* that we *fnarr fnarr* should have taken their story *guffaw* WITH A PINCH OF SALT!!!!!!!!! #saltpath

I’m not saying that the BBC issuing an apology to “the Jewish community” for Bob Vylan’s anti-IDF Glastonbury chant is ridiculous, I’m just saying it’s basically the same as if an act had chanted “death to nonces” and they apologised to all Catholics for any offence caused.

okay maybe it was justified

Sad news. Bloody loved Hypnospace Outlaw

I feel they made Blue Prince to drive me mad

And don't get into zero sum thinking, either. All our fates are intertwined. Sign, if you're Jewish, share either way:

As a reminder, the antisemetic choads in the White House (I'd bet it was Steven Miller) released the primary "countering antisemitism" executive order coded with neo-Nazi numerology.

I love my cats but when they bring in a terrified but injured squirrel that means an emergency call to pest control at 11.30 at night they really test me

Ah yes Amazon £2 more a month for your obnoxious ad ridden shit service. No thank you

I came up with what could be a legit useful way to use AI at work today and it was absolutely dogshit at it 🤷‍♂️

Look, we got reviewed and they thought we were great! www.thereviewshub.com/brighton-fri...

And they say print media is dead

Blue Prince is making me weirdly obsessive. I wish it was a bit less luck based so I could make quicker progress as I know what I need to do but it’s annoying

Young priest! there's no need to feel down there's a Country! That's inside of a town you can Go there! Now ol Frank's underground and you choose a new guy (bom bom bom bom bom) It's fun to vote for a P O P E

Slightly concerned how the instagram algorithm served me a post about a birria taco place announcing they will be at Glastonbury. Now I love birria and I am going to Glastonbury but haven’t said that anywhere.

I prefer to add a letter and ruin a film

IT BEGINS TOMORROW 8PM @ THE ROTUNDA THEATRE www.brightonfringe.org/events/do-th...