We aren’t the land of the free. We’re the land of freedom with terms and conditions.

a penguin is basically a bird that said fuck flying i’ll just wear a tuxedo and slide everywhere

Funko Pop call me I have an idea

I am making D List ICE Barbie collection to market to Funko Pop

I'm on camera more than a porn star and fucked a lot less

Not to brag but I think I am pretty good at spewing some magnificent and exquisite bullshit.

It's a great evening to watch Mountainhead on HBO since there's *checks notes* literally nothing else happening worth watching.

Whoever is directing the feed of the military parade at FOX has a pretty easy job. You absolutely cannot show any angle that allows someone to see how few people are there. So it's all the same two tight shots over and over again.

Apparently my signs scream someone’s mom but I am

I'm attending Collin County Democratic Party's event, “No Kings- McKinney Protest” - sign up now to join me! www.mobilize.us/collindemocr...

Where are the Dem politicians RAGING against what Kristi Noem did, forcing themselves on every cable show, and taking action (not just saying things or writing letters)?

Trofim Lysenko denied genes existed, claimed plants could inherit traits from stress, and got Stalin to believe him. Real scientists were imprisoned or killed. Soviet genetics was set back decades. Lysenkoism is the blueprint for how politics can destroy science. Welcome to America!

Haha I knew she would block me. Pussy.

No new wars?

🤦🏼‍♀️

History is made in moments just like this, by people who refused to shut up or sit down.

They gutted social programs, shut down factories, outsourced jobs, and left entire towns to rot, and then they militarized the cops, constructed a bunch of private prisons, and built Cop Cities to crush any resistance, but they want us to blame immigrants for the way things are?

FUCK JOKES OH YEAH THIS IS NO TIME FOR HUMOUR IF YOU AIN’T MISERABLE YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE

Some people should be deeply grateful for autonomic systems, if breathing, walking, and talking required conscious thought, they’d be face down and silent.

Breathe in The will of the Stars Breathe out That which makes me feel lesser

If anyone’s looking for a Canadian green card husband, hit me up. I’m basically sexless, have two cute doggies, and I do most of my crying in the car. Weirdos only.

Hey America… guess who’s popping their popcorn….

I don’t think I want to do this anymore

Get out of your comfort zone and get into an even more comfortable zone.

My card

"Another scheme of the WOKE LEFT trying to RUIN MY LIFE" I shout as I leave the sex shop where I tried to return the butt plug I had found in the alley

BREAKING: humanity

Have you tried complaining about it?

Her: I really like you. Me: Stick around a while, it won’t last.

Three word prompt request: Brutality, essence, phasing Words provided by @unhingedthot.bsky.social

Evolution is not linear. One writes poetry. The other bans books.

Arrest Newsom and he wins the next election so for the love of god do it

*frantically throwing butter sticks in the stove* Why does everything smell like burnt fat?

There’s nothing more sensual than someone making velociraptor noises in the bedroom.

Suns out top off

Wearing my shortest jorts and feeling sassier than ever.

No one experiencing the tragedy of a miscarriage should be arrested, much less abandoned in jail for 5 months with a $100k bond. But that’s exactly what happened to Mallori Patrice Strait in Texas. Women, particularly women of color, in this country are no longer allowed dignity even in extreme loss

We hallucinate because reality is dull and boring.

Deporting individuals to countries where they have no citizenship, cultural ties, or language proficiency severely hampers their ability to integrate or even survive. This is cruel and inhumane.

The U.S. Constitution guarantees due process rights to all individuals within its jurisdiction, including noncitizens. I don’t understand what’s so goddamn hard to understand.

The U.S. was designed as a representative democracy, not a direct one, because the Founders believed it would offer stability, protect minority rights, and prevent the dangers of mob rule but in modernity our representatives are corrupt.

Yes, ma’am, submit but let’s be clear, to which husband exactly? The one quoting Corinthians while texting his mistress, or the one funding megachurches from a shell company? No? Ah yes, the third, he prays loudest, so clearly he must be the anointed one. www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...

Hey you know how people made the Tesla brand radioactively toxic and crashed its entire corporate structure? You can do that with authoritarian brutality and with neoliberal oppression and exploitation. You chase these motherfuckers from society until all that’s left is something real and better.

If I say you are attractive I mean it. It's like with ugly babies if they aren't cute I just say awww.

You do not storm the temple of liberty and call it patriotism. That’s not revolution. That’s rebellion without cause or honor.

A republic is not sustained by passion but by principle. We defend it not by tearing down its institutions, but by upholding them with courage and reason. George Washington probably