Evicted some carpenter bees without notice today. MORAL: Do not drill holes into the underside of my deck and invite the crew over for snacks if you’re constantly late on rent. I have various aromatic tinctures which I am not afraid to annoy you with and I am a vigilant landlord.

Tastes like Ragu, mild edition. WTF @murderkroger.bsky.social ?

petition to replace the easter bunny

“Billionaires Are Job Creators!”

🎵“Iran! Iran so far awaaay!”🎵 A Flock Of Seagulls learning about geography

we have to starve our poor to bomb their poor

Everybody likes a good ole fashioned Moreland traffic jam when there's a light breeze filled with not-so-distant tennis grunts and the Bradford pears are flowering and there's a conflict in the Middle East.

This guy gets it.

RIP Cinnamon. Best neighborhood cat I have ever met. I’ll miss your loud greetings and engaging conversations. Everyone who knew you will. 💔

The worst case scenario for an AOC presidential run in 2028 is that she’s setting herself up for 2032 or 2036. She is going to be president someday—it’s just a matter of time.

Reupped my man card and successfully made it through a minor DIY plumbing installation. For the love of Jeb!, please clap.

Can't spell "ennui" without U and I.

Found the perfect celebratory gif for my coworker’s birthday! Thanks, Teams!

The entirety of the song “You’re So Vain” is 100% about the guy who “probably” thinks the song is about him. It’s dumb and has bothered me for decades. I wish that guy would have put out a diss track of his own called “You’re Not So Clever.” She laughs. They make up in time for Valentine’s Day. 💝

Just opened a single Reese’s peanut butter cup that had eleven (11) paper wrappers. This is how I know I am one of the indigo children.

spoiler alert: this article is NOT referring to blast beats

Chaos at every level in every circle.

Call the piece of legislation that ultimately abolishes ICE the Pretti-Good Act

huge congratulations to @froggyblink.bsky.social for absolutely nailing the assignment on the first-ever skeet to feature a functioning $TSLA cashtag

Really not a big fan of this decade. God damn.

Obituary’s guitarist is wearing a Red Hot Chili Peppers tee in their video for “The End Complete.” How does this make you feel?

I see: So only when we get a full Nazi regime with the SS, and journalists and opposition party members being thrown in concentration camps, will we have ACTUAL fascism; until then it’s merely sparkling authoritarianism. Unbelievable.

My cuntery ‘tis of thee

Once? Twice? Three (!!) times a lady? Cant get fooled again.

This all seems pretty unbecoming of a FIFA Peace Prize winner

Happy flu year, for fuck’s sake. Oof.

What if you could only think each thought once

When Vince Neil said “he’s gonna be your Frankenstein” in the 1989 hit “Dr. Feelgood,” it’s important to note the distinction between Dr. Frankenstein, the eponymous Dr. Feelgood, AND Frankenstein’s monster. In this case he meant that Dr. Feelgood was actually Dr. Frankenstein. Fuck that is so smart

People go about hating on Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” and yet love The Waitresses “Christmas Wrapping.” They’re both great, you louts! Wacky Christmas songs rule.

Don’t know if it’s correlation or causation but I am Sag moon and rising and have spent the past 30+ years of my life listening exclusively to Anthrax.

The band name was prescient and the sound is what the band name feels like, which is a paradox because I love the sound but hate the subjugation. Fuck this is feral. An all-time great that I will never let loose from my collection even in the next depression. youtu.be/h7u_Rilmsxc?...

If Bill is Bubba. Trump is Gump. Quite simple geometry.

Okay why the fuck has Sarah Kendzior been suspended??!!!!

Cut into the quick of my right ring finger earlier this week and am annoyed with the mild but constant sore throb. I understand why kitties don’t like manicures. Totally not worth it.

Last night I dreamed that the aurora borealis also made sounds. 😀 But the sounds were eerie, loud, and intermittent. 😰 But the lights were more vivid than ever and it felt like they might be sentient. 🫠 I survived. All in all: Interesting dream.

My new favorite song, which I used to hate with an almighty passion in my heart, is “Bittersweet Symphony” by the Verve.

The mirror broke me. Here’s to seven years of good luck.

I do not do drugs but my algorithm thinks I do. Literally bless.

Oatmeal and tuna salad for brekkie. Chips and salsa for lunch. Honey almond cluster kashi cereal with raisins for dinner. — I am ready/down for whatever.

Fondly reflecting on that time earlier this year when I spilled like an entire pitcher full of ice cold water all over my crotch in the front row of the thrumming, and sexy, and dimly lit — except for where I was sitting — Kansas City jazz club. Put that on my highlight reel.

Someone take me back to Ellinor in Appleton, Wisconsin. That shit was so enjoyable.

They’re scared! Vote for Peter Hubbard. www.georgiapower.com/rate-freeze....

Purdue to the rescue of IU student newspaper, whose institution was attempting censorship. Details in alt!

Study this if you can’t sleep and then when you do eventually fall asleep please contact me in the dream world and we’ll share a root beer before smashing the state. 😊😴 youtu.be/XbOe7ua6IUY?...

MSNBC Grandmas in Skechers seamlessly reclaiming the frog from 4chan Nazis in about six weeks has gotta be the political upset of the century.

we're approaching macy's parade level teamwork here

What if they had TikTok 27 years ago? Maybe things would have turned out better. Maybe Halloween could have lasted forever. One can dream.