Me: Maybe you’re not immune to propaganda, but I am. My mind is an unassailable fortress (sees can of pizza-flavored pringles) Me: Those mad geniuses. They did it. The taste of pizza and pringles together at last

made cookies and they're so so good

COME TO OUR HALLOWEEN SHOW

Come to my show October 31st at Harvard Yard Bar!

when I say "on my dead homies," this is who I'm talking about

doing a new thing where I call episodes of columbo "'Lumbos" "hey, you watching a 'Lumbo tonight?" "buddy, I'm on my third 'Lumbo" my gf doesn't think it'll catch on

one time I got into an actual argument with my ex-wife's cousin. she was so boomer brained that when I (accurately) called her an elder millennial, she threw a fit because she was "hard working and smart, not like a millennial" and I was just trying to tell her that she's repeating boomer bullshit.

Can you chill out. Hello my baby hello my darling ass

currently thinking about this cargo ship at the port of LA named fabulous diva

The Pickle Sisters were a vaudeville act from the 1920s. They were known for their unique and unusual performances. The Pickles, Margaret, Mavis, Opal, and Florence, adopted the playful stage names Dillie, Kosher, Gherkin, and Cornichon.

nice argument, unfortunately i have already depicted myself as Switch 2 Keith David and you as Gamecube Jason Alexander

paid good money for this silly ass costume, I'm gonna wear it every chance I fucking get.

she doubting on my fire til I HELLLOOOOOOO

people with super loud motorcycles or muscle cars that like to let them idle in my neighborhood for 15-20 minutes should do that in a sealed garage instead of right outside my fucking windows.

watching a 2008 documentary about the Rock-afire Explosion and it's mainly Gen X guys who look exactly how you'd expect someone obsessed with animatronic musicians pre-FNAF and then there's just this insanely beautiful woman. love a babe with an insane hobby

they should make a season of big brother that more of my friends will watch and talk about with me

last summer, I answered a comedian's ig story requesting people for a music video and I ended up rubbing someone's feet all over my face and kissing a dude

really unfortunate how places like chipotle are taking over historic locations in boston. when paine wrote common sense that was a dunkin donuts.

have a pest control guy coming tomorrow so I'm picking up every single ant I see in my home today and talking shit

finished my koth rewatch. back to the bosch/bosch: legacy rewatch i paused so i can watch ballard. whole vibe of the house is going to change drastically.

a friend made a joke(?) about christian and i "just hoping for the best" and "not investing" in our foster dog enough because we're looking to rehome her and i'm ready to slash their fucking tires.

my mom posting in the family gc about eating an obscene amount of cherries the other day and so i, too, am eating an obscene amount of cherries.

someone unmatched me after i mentioned what books i was reading and okay maybe i should have done a better job at explaining what "raw dog" was about.

someone unmatched me after i mentioned what books i was reading and okay maybe i should have done a better job at explaining what "raw dog" was about.

arguing with my ex wife because I was self deprecating and she was like "hey, I have *good* taste"

very sad to say that things aren't working out between Millie and Flauta and we're going to be looking to rehome this baby. if you're in LA and would like to adopt this sweetheart into your home (which preferably has a large couch and no other pets), please let me know or share.

they got the full-sized bull dicks at the specialty pet supply store

thinking of becoming one of those doesn't-wipe-his-ass-cause-it's-gay-to-spread-your-cheeks guys.

pushing my hat just far back enough on my head to show people I still have a youthful hairline

did a public-facing thing today (virtual construction project update meeting) and I maybe got 15 minutes to prep and I fucking killed it. I forget I'm good at my job that I hate sometimes.

My neighbour says leftists keep taking over his social platforms, so I asked him how many social platforms he has, and he said he just finances a new social platform afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding social platforms to leftists at this point and his investors started crying.

saw the coolest guy at pumping gas at the van nuys costco today

working on a construction site rules

they don't use bluesky so I can vent about them here, but my friends really shot any chance of this foster dog and my dog getting along in the foot by flaking out on helping me with this introduction. truly fighting an uphill battle and I don't feel like it's going to work.

gonna try to fix my damn bluesky feed. made the mistake of following too many people that were more popular than they were interesting at first, so I gotta fix that.

thank you, plex

As announced yesterday, we’re giving away a Nintendo Switch 2 in celebration of Mega64 Day! Contest opens at 12pm PST at the 🔗 below and closes at 5:30pm PST where we’ll be announcing the winner live during our Mega64 Day stream! bit.ly/mega64switch2

first attempt (in a while) at painting with acrylics on canvas, using @professor-abee.bsky.social ‘s dog as a muse

well, didn't realize it was so easy to put stuff on streaming services but here we are open.spotify.com/track/0aqGwi...

how do i tell someone that they technically inspired a particularly sad song i wrote but, like... it's not about them... but it's not *not* about them either.

i truly thought everyone could be normal and fun about the 100 guys vs 1 gorilla debate but for every person who says they like pancakes, there's an equal amount of people ready to murder them for hating waffles.

is it cool if i start referring to my ex-wife as my "first wife" now? i feel like that sounds so much funnier.

tapping the sign again

if I were a smarter man, I would have maybe shut off all the apps showing me memories of a year ago. but here I am, being reminded of maybe the most painful week of my short, little life in the middle of my work day. lots of swiping notifications away.

realizing that my type is seemingly "women who are bad texters"

You're finally awake! That was a pretty big bump of ket you did. What? X? The Department of Government Efficiency? What are you talking about? Get up, we're about to land on Little Saint James

playing another show! kickin' off the first music night under the palapa of the season at best fish tacos in ensenada on hillhurst! come grab some tasty food and listen to me play music at you! also lol i finally got to use my new promo image and the goofy little bio i wrote.

every picture of me playing music makes me look like a marionette that wished to be a real boy.

Elon Musk streaming POE 2 on his private plane while listening to “The Final Countdown” and everyone in the in-game chat is whispering him to kill himself. Now that’s cool.