here's this vintage jeopardy clip with ken jennings

*Frantically runs to keyboard* More like Trade Young Am I right?

You (dumb): They should close down that old mall because it's full of asbestos and a bunch of people died Me (smart): So you would have Paul Blart unleash his antics on our nation's streets?

Tapping my "They are generating fake videos with AI and telling him they're real" sign.

I'm rooting for this as it would be the funniest possible outcome

The only pronouns I’m against are AI bots using first person ones

Love this from Guillermo del Toro

If you need someone to throw a 70 yard bomb, Milton will bomb it 70 yards If you need someone to throw a 10 yard out, Milton will bomb it 70 yards

Love wasting scammers time

Does the FIFA Peace Prize mean nothing anymore??

So excited to see this beloved, beautiful, iconic diva work with Sabrina Carpenter

It's 2026. Things many middle aged Americans probably don't know how to do: * Pilot an autogyro * Add intercalay days to the French Republican calendar * Read or write Linear B * Locate the tomb of Tamerlane on a map * Replace treadles on a counterbalance loom

Some of y'all didn't eat your black-eyed peas last year and it showed

Dorothy Parker to Robert Benchley, December 31, 1929. Happy New Year!

Everyone online less than me is a Neanderthal completely unaware of everything important in the world Everyone online more than me is a fucking sick freak who needs to touch grass

Kind of amazing that Silicon Valley has marketed AI as a revolutionary, limitless technology that can do *anything* and yet they can't use it to come up with a single new product anyone in their right mind would actually want

Lindor's athletic, handsome and incredibly wealthy but even he needs the mayor to appoint him a wife It really is impossible for young men to find dates nowadays, huh?

I wasn’t going to start this game back up again but: Style is, to me, one of Taylor’s most authentically sexy singles, & Kristen Schaal does charming-but-unhinged perfectly. Throw those vibes together & you get Alligator starring Robert Forrester and an alligator named Ramón bsky.app/profile/lham...

Style and Kristen Schaal

Funny watching so many folk celebrate Bardot. It brings this meme to mind.

Go woke, go broke(n jaw)

Campaigns should spend money on focus groups and consultants who will tell them exactly which minority groups to throw under the bus, not in ways that will make a direct positive impact in people's lives. The only positive thing a politician can do is win elections. I'm a very serious thinker man.

Love a duel threat athlete

I'm not a health care policy wonk and I'm sure implementation would be horribly difficult, but a billionaire owner of a pharmacy spending all day Christmas and Christmas Eve crashing out over the idea of of universal single payer coverage is maybe the best argument I've seen for it

Merry Christmas to all. defector.com/what-did-we-...

I failed to realize how much of being the father of a 9 month old involves him scream crying at the top of his lungs when I stop him from doing something and that something is crawling headfirst off the couch

It's not possible for my empire to have problems. My courtiers are always nervously smiling and telling me everything is great

I know I shouldn't be but I'm actually surprised Jake was dumb enough to step in the ring with an actual elite heavyweight who's not collecting Social Security

I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong. This clearly proves his innocence. I apologize for assuming the worst Mr. President.

If this were anyone else I could believe this was a long-con, meta, anti-humor bit but this just feels bleak

The only ice I support

Terrifying headline if you don’t realize they are sports teams.

Orlando doing well since subbing in Nandor the Relentless to face Jokic

So many rich people realize they're in a bubble and think they can use social media to keep in touch with the common man but fail to realize that social media (Twitter especially) is just a smaller, crazier bubble specifically designed to slowly break your brain

More halftime shows should have bisexual lighting

The Knicks winning the NBA Cup will be the best thing for the tournament because their fans will act like it's equal in importance to 7 championships

We're only going to release the edited version of the footage so it looks like we did (war) crimes for....reasons....

Nobody. I do not think you can eat chair

I guess she canto sello booko

You should be allowed to punch Grayson Allen once a half as a treat

Crockett ran 10-12 points ahead of Harris and Allred in her district in '24 I don't know what her odds of winning are, but they're not zero especially in a midterm cycle where Dems will have a really significant advantage

Because I’m bored: Professional Athletes as Public Transit Vehicles