why do they call them children, they have like zero chill

It seemed like the dumbest joke ever so I posted it - a memoir

me: damn spotify just keeps playing the same songs [spotify plays me a new song] me: what is this horseshit

Ruin a book with a car 1984 Buick Century

Old man yelling at clouds dot gif. Meet kids where they are, they have music…you just don’t like it and they don’t like yours. SAIEW.

Generals gathered with their asses.

I have to put on socks and shoes today.

Hey @sundazed.bsky.social don’t we have a ticket deal for this? Maybe cheap date night?

You seem like someone who doesn’t sing along to Bohemian Rhapsody

Hard to play “tough guy” and “young man” if you’re threatened by *checks notes* an escalator.

My hand hurts.

omg. Macron took the stage by saying “I have my prepared speech, but I’d like to tell you what I really think”. And SLAMMED MAGA for 20 min on nationalism, climate, Ukraine, Gaza, democratic values, global cooperation and lack of integrity. Uploading it now. Must watch. MAGA table didn’t clap

Leftovers night: butter chicken pizza party.

We had a roommate that came to us bc his house burned down. After one week of him doing laundry, it was clear why his house burned down. Showed him how to clean, and told him it had to be every time. Still wouldn’t clean it. I grabbed him, a lighter, and lint and explained consequences visually.

It's stupid how they want money for food.

The 2nd (and last) run is live on the site www.thecolacorporation.com/products/hey...

Fantastic morning teaching our friend Henrietta. It was her second class and we dove deep, learned repairs, edits and small tweaks, all the behind the scenes things that make our pieces unique. October 🗓️ is open. Book a session and leave with 3 pairs of earrings and a necklace.

saturday morning cartoons be like, “let’s put a leather daddy in it…for the children”

Hi, I could use help making it through the end of the month again. I have $26 until Oct 3rd $45 - meds $50 - groceries $35 - overdue medical bills $130 would be enough to get me through the week venmo / cashapp: $alyricana paypal: paypal.me/alyriae thank you endlessly if you can boost or help

I spent 40ish minutes working in the yard, it’s barely 80 out. Completely spent. Something about the angle of sun in fall that wrecks me. Or maybe it’s yesterday’s flu shot? Probably both.

Going to Venice to see if I can drown while hitchhiking.

I’m not stubborn, I just like to make absolutely sure the hill I’m dying on has a bar. I'm not going to die sober.

Reset the date

A quick guide on "How to fall downstairs": Step 1 Step 6 Step 8, 9, 10, 11.

they told me to make myself at home so i moved their silverware to the more logical drawer

Just gonna go ahead and rewatch TREME.

2011: Will Cooper come good Can the defense stop other teams Is there an attacking midfielder on the timbers Can they make the playoffs The rapture 2025: Will Kelsy come good Can the defense stop other teams Is there an attacking midfielder on the timbers Can they make the playoffs The rapture

I wonder if the fundie influencers are in hiding today.

I get grandbebes for thanksgiving.

Let’s see who’s coming out of the kiln today! It’s Ghost Cats! 👻 🐈‍⬛ So far they have been our most popular item from our Fall Sale, which is happening now! Stock up on your Halloween goodness! magpiemousestudios.etsy.com

We need a new vet that isn’t part of a big umbrella group that wants to be an overpriced pharmacy. SWPDX, looking for recs.

[first day of work] me: so, when do i get to kick one? boss: we don't actually- me: how about that one? that one looks like kind of an asshole

salt & vinegar chips taste like they don’t like you

BREAKING: Florida cop treated for autism after exposure to tylenol during traffic stop

Got the flu shot.

The Cranberries: do you have to let it linger My anxiety: yes

A pal is a wonderful thing!

RFK Jr: The Amish don't have autism The Amish:

“Just checked in with my boys at Palantir and I’m happy to report lots of people showed up for the bones of steel miracle funeral!” isn’t quite what I would say if I was working super hard to put conspiracy theories to rest.

Somewhere in Hell Qaddafi smiles knowing his will never again be seen as the most demented speech in UN General Assembly history.

Maybe it’s just American fundies that get zapped…err, raptured today?🤞

KATU Portland is a Sinclair (bad) station.

*puts on readers to roll a joint

I wasn't going to get married, but then someone threw a wench in my plans...

Yall posting Blondie and Michael Stipe has been giving the lyrics away to ITEOTWAWKI

If I wake up and all the fundies are still here…

I think we need an old school hip-hop resurgence. It's definitely some of the best music for fighting injustice.

Hey friends ! Ill be participating in Extra Life this year. Ive set a modest goal, but will increase if its met early. Donate here! www.extra-life.org/participant/...

Hi. Please donate if you can.

Anyone surprised that this Temu ass presidency is blaming pregnant people for autism? Anyone? No? That’s what I thought.