next time you hear someone “throws like a girl” this is what you should assume they mean

@laurelcanyonfairy.bsky.social Look what I found!

That Madonna-Graham Norton interview was great! Plus, a duet with Lola sounds like a real treat! But seriously, is the Kylie thing really happening? I don’t believe it.

I have to go to an event at SoHo House tonight, so if anyone asks… my name is Annabelle Bronstein.

I have a friend who quit his high-paying IT job so that he could pursue his passion professionally. Usually, I’d say good for you but his passion is… slam poetry. And he’s not very good. I’m trying to be nice, but I’m really every single Britney on the X-Factor gif that exists.

"The numbers are hard to believe" not really I think if you smeared shit on a steak before you cooked it people would just not want to buy it

#SpreadLoveNotHate #SpreadLove #SpreadLoveAndKindness #YouAreLoved #HateIsAVirus

Oh, and my phone is Elektra King, from The World Is Not Enough.

All of my devices are names from James Bond. My watch is called Holly Goodhead, the Bond girl in the Moonraker film. My iPad is Gala Brand, the girl in the Moonraker book. My MacBook is Property Of A Lady, which was adapted to the plot of Octopussy, and my WiFi is Disco Volante, from Thunderball.

The Vampire Lestat finally gave me what I wanted since season 1! Louis is such a bad ass 😍

1/ Eighty cities just told Flock to take its license plate cameras and go. No viral moment, no executive order. Just residents reading contracts, showing up at council meetings, and voting the dragnet out. Here is how they did it. You can do it, too🧵 #DV1 #ProudBlue #Voices4Victory #USDemocrac

Not really feeling the new Air Force One bribe from Qatar.

we’re gonna need a bigger filter

Share a movie soundtrack you love. 🎥🎶

After Putin-stooge Donald Trump despicably withheld military help from Ukraine, Ukraine turned around and said, “Oh yeah, well *this* is how you win a war, surrender monkey.” 🇺🇦

what in the name of rube goldberg is this

Get on board. InfoWars launches July 2, 8 p.m. EST

2025 is over, I thought I didn’t have to pretend Benson Boone is good anymore…

Listening to Barack Obama and Donald Trump give speeches this week was like hearing a Broadway star recite the Gettysburg Address and a colicky toddler bungle the words to “The Wheels On The Bus Go ‘Round and Around.”

The fact that they cast Lizzie Bennet ‘95 to play Gabriella has me totally gagged because she is doing amazing… I hated her in the book, but she’s kind of fierce in the show.

if they made a macy’s parade float of joe rogan it would now be indistinguishable from the real thing

Y’all wanna blame everything on some unrelated shit instead of the REAL underlying causes: • racism (specifically, the anti-Black kind) • sexism/misogyny/misogynoir • white supremacy • white nationalism • unfettered, unregulated, laissez-faire capitalism THESE are why no one’s having any kids!

I try to watch the Netflix Castlevania series, but I get completely stuck because I agree with Dracula. Like he’s the only likable character and I am wishing for his success. And then he dies and why would I watch anymore?! I hate everyone who survives (especially the heroes!)

Trump's "Meet the Press" interview quickly went from cute rom-com to his worst nightmare

I don’t know about other ramifications, but I can tell you personally that the new Visa policy in Thailand has decimated the residency of OnlyFans creators in the city. And I find it hysterical.

These were our “blind boxes” in the ‘90s 😆

Okay, why is The Vampire Lestat kind of hysterical? I’m kind of really into this.

Bangkok people! If you’ve never taken a storytelling workshop, it’s so much fun. Meet people and learn how to tell a great story. A supportive & encouraging 2-day workshop at @garageburgerandgrillbkk on March 28/29. Register here: tinyurl.com/ettykycd #bangkok #bkk #bangkokevents #storytelling

I just got read for filth in my comments… like to a point where I don’t have a response. This is monumental. Someone out-shaded MEEEEEE This probably hasn’t happened since the 90’s when my brain hadn’t fully developed.

Whatever

the thing that’s been painfully obvious for years is that unchecked capital accumulation paired with gutting the social safety net and public goods was going to lead to commerce without customers. an economy built on consumption when no one has money to consume.

Keith Urban covering Stevie Nicks is very odd.

Me: Why are you playing Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton?! Them: It’s uplifting.

The bar is holding “Witchcraft and Fortune Teller” Night. Me: You should play Rhiannon. Them: Never heard of it.

“Look, my life has been hard! During Hands Across America, I wanted to stand next to Andrew McCarthy but instead I got the Guinness Record holder for sweatiest palms! I tell you, thank God there was no COVID back then because we’d all be gone before we could finish one chorus of We Are The World!”

“I just love the way my vegan honey drips down the crevice of his balls…”

By the way, this was the 7-11 on a college campus!

This man is sick, get him some help! “Is he a citizen?” Who tf cares?! He is a human being and he needs urgent care! I swear to god…

The Appalachian Trail is also bigger than skyscrapers, but I don't see anti-environmentalist Donald pouring money into protecting that.

They look like bus perverts.

I finally read more deeply into the Pizzagate nonsense that people (including some of my relatives) believe and it’s… profoundly stupid. It was literally an episode of Buffy and is based on something from Hunter S. Thompson wrote about incorrectly (that he admitted). Totally Wack-a-doo

The “eat the rich except Tom Steyer” crowd is exhausting.

Twinks today cosplaying in Millennial high school gear means that whenever I go out to a bar now, all the white kids look like they fell out of my favorite Nickelodeon show from 1993… which makes my boner totally disappear.

I’ve received a deluge of messages asking me about all the parties happening for Pride.

Every time

So I randomly came to this conclusion at about 12 years old when I questioned my pastor/grandfather about tithing and he couldn’t explain to me why God couldn’t magically generate money. It’s mostly why I get pegged as a nihilist.

My big take away from the Netflix documentary Trust Me was that the Department of Child Services fucks up A LOT!

You know, I’m sitting in this car home realizing that I shouldn’t have a driver’s license anymore. This isn’t a car; it’s 3 iPads and a steering wheel. I would be totally at a loss in an emergency.