you've lindseyed your last graham

sweeties only

SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL IS GOING TO HAPPEN

i am at the stage of immigration where i speak the language so well when i occasionally stumble with words people forget im not from here and they think i am just stupid

a frozen pea goes so hard if you're a pigeon in a heatwave

I hate this fucking weather

man. i really deserve the world

Listen to Britain’s dawn chorus of 1976: the dramatic loss of birdsong in 50 years

remember to get out of the house often. there are beautiful women out there

they've gentrified crime

Today's frog is the grubby shrub frog.

but those are the main things :(

The computer lost the mandate of heaven when the humble, helpful "program" was replaced with the insidious "app"

every time someone asks me what are dublins best queer venues i tell them street 66 and my living room

reskeet with your best impression of me. you can be mean if it's funny

Please enjoy this fine fellow

it's sinful tuesday. reskeet if you're beset by nefarious thoughts

JOKER: Not so fast, Bat-JERK! My LAUGHBangs will leave you BLIND as a BAT! BLUESKY BATMAN: Oof. Many people suffer from reduced vision. Not funny. JOKER: It's like, it's a pun. It's just wordplay. BLUESKY BATMAN: Sorry if I'm not in the mood for "jokes" while SCOTUS shreds our constitutional rights

Women in the Army Are More Likely to Be Killed by Fellow Soldiers Than Enemy Combatants theintercept.com/2026/06/30/a...

'how do you take care of 50 plants' easy. they talk to me

i do enjoy looking like a hot english teacher

evil timeline

i am the architect of my own suffering in that i, an excellent cook who loves making food more than anything else in the world, am irresistibly attracted to women with an extremely limited diet

I wanna cuddle up with someone in a cold room. If you have air conditioning and wanna hit, this is your chance. If you have a walk in freezer and wanna fuck, I'm yours.

big dawg wants uppies

Study: Mosquitos More Attracted To People Branded With Mosquito God’s Rune Of Punishment https://theonion.com/study-mosquitos-more-attracted-to-people-branded-with-mosquito-gods-rune-of-punishment/

it's called a job because needing to have one is like being cursed by God

no no it's absolutely fine that entire workplaces are solely run by claude i don't see what could go wrong

I survived all the macho guys throwing hands in the pit for an hour then right at the end some blue haired kid came up and punched me in the tit. So much for the tolerant left!

id go to war for libgen but not for either the country i was born in nor the one i live in

i wonder if the people living in the apartments opposite me (Seagull Man, Gay Guy with Plant, Hot Tattooed Couple, Laptop Dude) refer to me in their minds as The Slut or perhaps The Serial Cheater

I have plenty of mean bones in my body

SJÄMSÅRA

women can have it all (diagnoses)

looking for a torrid summer fling to forget my woes. possibility to extend and become next summer's woe

there's no rule that says big dawg can't be a small italian woman

what the fuck do you even caption tit pics anyway

@blackdogfarm.bsky.social introduces the new puppy to some of the ladies: #AGoodPlace Source: www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmil...

I GET LOGGED OUT. BUT I LOG IN AGAIN

these days I only ask people their pronouns if they look annoying

(me after opening up to someone) the police are coming to my house to arrest me

my healing is linear actually. yours is all fucked up

launching slut era 2026 just so i can show off my new couch

hey girl how did your choices go

my therapist (EMDR) has been probing me for an example of a grounding memory of calm and safety and I couldn't find any so we settled on trees

tinfoil pirate hat

these days when I meet someone I really like I block them. preemptive strike