going monog for a week to fulfill my lifelong dream of cheating while on a business trip

taking the Totoro bus to the labor camp

I could recognize all of the people I've loved from a blind armpit lineup

i hope you all see me as a helpful and friendly crazy person

dadcore (researching appliances)

Rest in peace to Mike F, one of the all-time greats

elon musk is the worst thing that ever happened to ketamine

poly terminology is irredeemably cringe. compare metamour, comet partner, polycule to mistress. scandal. torrid affair

*solemnly stares out window* Time makes cucks of us all.

i have to say I much prefer the genuine, if crude, hidden bio to the ChatGPT-generated blurb

getting yourself off thrice after a 45 min yoga session gives you the same dopaminic reward of casual sex. and then you don't have to deal with having a stranger in your house

golden retriever boyfriends will be taken out back and shot

Bud Spencer & Terence Hill movie marathon anyone

you don't need Spotify. you can have arguments in your head for free

festive greetings

Mr Aldi. I was not familiar with your game

if they made a an armpit vape I'd hit it

i would put Ryan Reynolds in that medieval stretching device

Impossible to even describe how many versions of this he could do. He could be the patron saint of the entire world. Instead, they'll have to bury him in a secure location because of how many people will try to piss on his grave.

horsepower

they had to create another attachment style just for me

smoking that shit that makes you Catholic

I'M SMOKING THAT SHIT YOU GET AT THE PET SHOP

straight poly women should be allowed to claim each one of their boyfriends as a dependant on their tax returns

wishing all leftists a very Help Your Mam Do The Fucking Dishes for this holiday season 🙏🏻

Guys Ernie is still missing, he's the sweetest little boy who enjoys the company of humans. If you see him around Richmond Road/Clonliffe Road, please call his mam on 0892533727🙏🏽

I thought I hated work but it turns out what I hated was talking to software devs

(very upset snail) this is a waste of my slime

I love kale. A chewy leaf. Genius

"RemoveWindowsAI" is a script created by zoicware, available on GitHub, that does exactly what it says: it remove every AI feature in Windows 11. Do what you wish to do with this information. I'm sharing this because some folks are forced to use Win11 at work or other places for any reasons.

I think all my old mates emigrating because there were no jobs between 2008-2014, and then most of my new mates emigrating between 2018-2025 because there are no gaffs, has had a greater effect on social cohesion than migrants

yeah I'm involved in unethical non monogamy. no no, nobody's cheating on anyone else; me and my polycucle just operate a whaling ship.

can i invest emotional time into you and go bipolar for no reason

made the shocking discovery I prefer doing my job uninterrupted with my phone on silent than consuming social media slop

dilf stands for dame i’d like to fumble

as my therapist always says, "hurt people. hurt people."

A lot of people are getting calls from 0044 numbers these days. I can't advise strongly enough, DO NOT ANSWER CALLS FROM THESE NUMBERS: those are UK numbers. You are at a very real risk of talking to an English person

going into my mind palace to talk to the big man himself

I'm in the chapter of my life where beautiful women throw themselves at me and I panickedly duck

sleeping furiously. like Chomsky's colourless green ideas

you can tell the point in my journal where the SNRIs kicked in because I stopped writing and started drawing little mushrooms

I tell people weed makes me paranoid but it would be more accurate to say "heart-wrenchingly nostalgic"

greetings from the snot goblin

love watching tedious bullshit I hate on my phone . do it all day

at work and I've been asked what I think about Katy Perry's taste in men considering she went from Machine Gun Kelly to Justin Trudeau

Relatable

UX designers hate to see my mam coming