I wrote about the love of my life: The 2000 Sandra Bullock film, 28 Days open.substack.com/pub/askasobe...

what are we even doing anymore www.404media.co/henrico-virg...

Accidentally took this with portrait mode but oh man look at this beauty

Every Fox News live shot today from Trump's post-rapture-like fair on the National Mall has been hilarious. Here's a supercut:

I know how old and crotchety I sound but don’t make me scan a fucking QR code to look at a menu; I just want a piece of paper with a list of food and beverages. My having to say “wait let me switch back to the brunch menu oh shit my friend keeps texting me” is embarrassing for us both

MY KING

hate to keep having to say this but none of this would have happened if anyone in the supposedly tough-daddy GOP had laid this guy out the first time he insulted their kids or wives on the debate stage, that's how tenuous his abilities as a candidate were

I’ll take “headlines that didn’t age well”for $200

And posting on the Nazi-run, Nazi-promoting site to do it

I made a terrible, terrible mistake called a 9 am dentist’s appointment

Hey I have an idea, why don’t we let the voters decide what is or isn’t “too far left,” you actual losers

Generally speaking, polls have shown the Democratic Party's problem is not being seen as too woke, but weak and ineffective. Judging by tonight's primary results, Democratic Primary voters are intent on fixing this www.gelliottmorris.com/p/new-poll-d...

Some people have successful and fulfilling careers, some people find happiness through meaningful relationships with family and friends, and I have my Wordle streak

george conway lost by a bajillion votes which we can all agree is fucking hilarious

SLAY IGNORANCE AT THE LIBRARY

"She used to talk about the beach like it was a person. Her bond to the sunset, her bond to the water and the turtles….she was really into conservation, and into the soul, the spirit of conservation." www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

i think the reflecting pool has gone from “haha what a dumb ass” to “appointing a horse to the senate” level of story here

I am fortunate enough to have read much of Hanna’s book and it’s FASCINATING AND DELIGHTFUL. Pre-order it!!!!

Fucking what? By who???

“It’s funny because there’s this part in AA where they say ‘progress, not perfection,’ but I think that’s bullshit.” I loved talking to Jowita so much. I hope you’ll read and maybe even share out chat askasoberlady.substack.com/p/talking-ch...

As a hack writer, the fact that em-dashes and the rule of three have become signifiers of AI demonstrates that they're not just stealing my job, they're ruining all my favorite tools too.

I regret to inform you that I’ve waded into the Hunter Biden discourse askasoberlady.substack.com/p/what-we-ca...

Talk dirty to me

BIG GRETCH

I mean, Dirty Dancing portrayed abortion as dangerous because it was illegal and that’s just…accurate?

My mother just gave me an hour and a half of unsolicited career advice so insane that I’m genuinely excited on behalf of my therapist

This is an outrageous story. A farmer donated 87 acres to a small Texas city on the condition it be used as a public park. Years later, the farmer has passed away, the city sold the land to a developer, and now it will be the site of a 135,000 square foot data center www.404media.co/a-farmer-don...

hey quick question, am I having a stroke

Stop texting my wife!

Not to be pedantic but I feel like when you’re firing missiles at each other, you’re kind of already doing the war thing

In high school, I got made fun of for being a Dave Matthews fan BUT I FUCKING STAND BY IT

On the rare occasions I have to log into my Facebook account, I’m shocked by how many people I used to know in real life. And then I immediately feel great about being a misanthropic bitch, and log out

Weird to admit to asking expensive, talentless musicians to play at your baby dictator party and they still said no

Hunter Biden spending his whole day every day on Twitter being like "I'm not a pedophile, I was smoking crack with ADULT hookers at the Super 8 outside of Newark, you guys have pictures of all of it INCLUDING my hog from My Leaked Stolen Laptop™" is a masterstroke. Should've done this years ago.

Wrote about my sober, Sorkinly problematic king. askasoberlady.substack.com/p/how-can-yo...

For years, my phone number was listed as a Kaiser Permanente nurse help line and if you’re wondering if I still get the occasional call about draining abscesses, yes, yes I do

Yesterday—4 days after OMB released its proposal to revamp all federal funding—there were 3500+ comments. Today there are nearly 4,500. Our story on the damage the proposal could inflict on science and the researchers pushing back. Reported w/@marilenharo.bsky.social:

$140. I guess I’ll just keep playing “did I take it or not” roulette www.amazon.com/Pill-TimeCap...

Here’s a photo I took 6 years ago today called Society Nowadays

“What actually matters”

The first season of American vandal is a masterpiece and we should talk about that more

Audiobooks are so fucking great and the library charges you $0 to download and listen to millions of them

It’s Britney, bitch, etc. askasoberlady.substack.com/p/all-the-sh...

NEW: A group of activists have built an awesome new tool to help immigration attorneys and the general public know when an ICE flight is headed to their area. gillianbrockell.com/habeas-fligh...

Most folks don't realize how central events like J6 were to the Jim Crow state. Dozens of unprosecuted coups & massacres—actively encouraged by those in power—revived the fundamental logic of the pre-emancipation state: that Black Americans had "no rights which the white man was bound to respect."

Before I depart my weekend shift, here's what Donald Trump has been doing online in place of going to Don Jr.'s wedding, including weird memes grasping the mountains of Greenland and a tribute to Hulk Hogan, whom he called, incorrectly (?) "The Huckster." www.motherjones.com/politics/202...

one thing that pisses me off most about the 21st century is that, especially now, is that the system could easily be set up to where most of us just have all the taxes we owe taken out automatically, and everyone else just gets a letter telling them what they owe. this matters more than you'd think

These prosecutors who made my family’s life hell for a year are criminals. I want justice and we’ll seek it. This can’t happen again.