My sons, Aryann and Grokulus, love to visit local establishments and shoot at the feet of service employees, causing them to "dance." Do you like this. Is this relatable

Legend. Everyone from Elvis to Aretha to Karen Carpenter to Tina Turner stood on the shoulders of Sister Rosetta, and her performances are as electrifying today as they ever were.

Just....turn on the oil, Mr. President. You know, like you heroically turned on the water in California. Turn the faucet on! What are you waiting for?

This is obviously racist and horrible, but also, Pearl Harbor happened five years before he was born. Dementia? Stupidity? Narcissism? I assume yes to all three.

An underrated point that's been bothering me for a while, not just about Platner, but in general with these candidates. Stop skipping to the US Senate. We deserve to know how you lead and legislate.

It’s so fascinating that the most talented sports announcers all just happen to be the sons of other sports announcers. What are the odds? Someone should do a study!

Every single thing named after Cesar Chavez should be renamed for Dolores Huerta

I’ve seen enough of Il-09. No call, just, that’s enough.

Re-upping this for the baseball crowd. Thank you in advance!

Does Smoltz give a rant about exit velocity and K-rates even on days he doesn't broadcast a game? Is it like a daily affirmation for him?

The one guy with any melanin in the USA lineup and they gave him blue eyes

Today I am quitting my job working for Mr Trump because I just found out he's stupid. It has been the privilege of my life to work for this dipshit, who I would die for

Please let rfk give them a pregame speech because my hate is all I have left and I want it to grow

Fuck this. ABS forever.

Let Albert hit, please

It’s extra funny that Smoltz is dissing strikeouts considering that he’s spent all night repeating that the key to winning games is Putting The Ball In Play. His cliches are bumping into each other.

LOL at the cut to Pujols when the announcers were talking about Brazoban falsifying his age

the only similarity that Paul Skenes has to a military soldier is that someone is probably fucking his wife while he’s away

Five minutes in and it's already pretty clear that Bobby Witt Jr. and Bryce Harper don't care at ALL about the troops

Christ, even the Bananas are dunking on Cal.

My devices are obviously on the fritz because no way did the Blues win that game.

I used to think the USA hockey men were the biggest group of corny cop-saluting meatheads you could imagine, but those guys were a DSA rally compared to the nuclear levels of corny cop-saluting meathead coming off USA Baseball

Do you know someone who is a person of color with a dog adopted from a shelter or a nonprofit rescue? (No exceptions to those, sorry.) And preferably not a Midwesterner? Introduce me! Repost if you're willing! Looking for a couple of interview subjects. DMs are open. Thanks!

Let there be as much outrage from politicians in Washington when kids go hungry as there is when I break bread with New Yorkers.

holy shit

new Blues, who dis

Annual reminder that LILIES KILL CATS. They kill a LOT of cats, horribly. Not a myth or an urban legend. And please don't say "My cats have been around lilies and they're fine!" because that just means you've been lucky. If you have cats, don't have lilies, and don't give them to people with cats.

what should the penalty be for people who work on their laptops or watch videos in coffee shops and don't mute the volume or use earbuds? please hurry, I need to make a citizen's arrest

Friends on Facebook are sharing an Andy Borowitz post that says “GOD OFFICIALLY NOTIFIES MIKE JOHNSON THAT HE’S GOING TO HELL” and I must ask again how this man ever got a reputation or a paycheck for being funny. The most boring people I follow on here are funnier than this. I’M funnier than this.

This is fucking appalling, and all the more so because the top stroke of that "5" is pretty obviously meant to be his hair, right?

Folks, unless you have a TON of money to spread around, PLEASE don't waste it here. Add up all those red voters and it's vanishingly unlikely that this is a flippable seat. Focus on the races that are actually winnable, not the ones that would be most exciting to win.

Someone just called me a "BW" before blocking me, and I'm dying to know what that means. Blue Whale? Bodacious Windwalker? Brindle Wolfhound? Bossy Waffle? Bluesky Warrior? Brilliant Woman? Thanks in advance. --Bitchy Wench

Jarren Duran's homophobia incident was bad. But.....his apology for it was actually pretty good? (Feel free to add more context if you've got more than what I can google easily.) Anyway go Mexico. www.theguardian.com/sport/articl...

Why is John Smoltz and not Adam Wainwright the former Cardinal pitcher on my WBC broadcast

The bottom line is Trump sacrificed 8 American lives (& counting) and more than 1,000 Iranian lives (& counting) for nothing. He hurt the US & global economies, destabilized the Middle East, & will pull out with the same Iranian regime in power. There's no silver lining. A senseless, criminal waste

“Let slip the dogs of kinetic conflict”

The solution to 4 out of 214 Dems voting the wrong way is to elect 250 Dems so that you don’t have to give a shit about those 4.

Spring training, when Gameday turns into a CVS receipt

Read this www.friendlyatheist.com/p/before-you...

MAGA Facebook ex-friend posts "Thank you to everyone who voted for Trump and made this Iran strike possible!" video with her own caption of "You're welcome ❤️" I ask her how soon her own twin teenaged boys will be old enough to enlist. She replies "God have mercy on your poor wretched soul." 🤔

theyre just all so fucking stupid and we were told we had to be respectful and treat their stupid fucking opinions seriously even though we knew its all bull shit and now here we are

Supporting Platner is a problem. Hating Mills is a problem. Preferring the former over the latter is inexcusable.

"What if we tried 'let them eat cake' but with a food that's infinitely more disgusting than cake? People will love that"

Working on a unified theory of people who think the fact that they enjoyed themselves on a vacation abroad must mean something profound about their home country.

Late-night non-doom-posting: Not much is perfect in this world, but the combination of J.S. Bach and Andras Schiff is about as close as anyone could possibly need or want. www.youtube.com/watch?v=F92d...

Hey, look, it's Bernie Sanders being unhelpful! With a side of fatphobia!

Glad that I don’t have to be mad at any of the Blues for laughing at Dickhead’s sexist joke and I can just be mad at Faulk’s butt instead.

If you're not a hockey person, what happened here is that one of the MAGA-est dudes in the NHL just got used and embarrassed by Trump because no amount of kissing Trump's ass is enough to make him respect you or hesitate to humiliate you for his own entertainment.

John Rooney: “Matthew Liberatore has come into the spring with the mindset that he’s an ace.” That’s so nice. I have come into the spring with the mindset that I am the princess of Monaco.

Y'all....this is not a serious candidate