I seem to be continuing the tradition of picking up infections while on business trips. I have flu or something like it. We’ve come up to the Lake District for the half term week, and everyone else is enjoying the lovely sunshine, and I’m in bed feeling crap. Hmph.

YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK

I was in Shanghai recently and went to Muf Muf. I can recommend it as a place to eat out.

This is a real upmarket brand in China. Based on the marketing, I think they were aiming for something sophisticated and floral with a sort of Cath Kidston-esque appeal. Probably should have checked with a native English speaker before launch.

www.maptap.gg May 14 100🎯 99🎯 96🔥 99🎯 97🔥 Final score: 979 Best so far!

Not sure where this year’s Respiratory Infection World Championship is being held but I think I just ran into Team Australia, all of whom are changing planes in HK airport.

Artist’s impression:

The first rule of the Introvert Club is please don't start a club.

“Hello everyone and welcome to my Ted Talk, ‘It Was the Cat: Diverting Blame in the Digital Age’.”

I predict Starmer will not be defeated until Wooden Burnham moves to St Ann’s Lane.

Doctor Trivago #BrandNameSongsOrMovies

Dancing at Lufthansa #BrandNameSongsOrMovies [and yes the late great Willie Rushton came up with this one, but it’s such a great pun I just had to share it]

www.maptap.gg May 9 100🎯 100🎯 100🎯 100🎯 74🌞 Final score: 922 Dammit! Full marks right up to the last one!

There are lots of questions I want to ask Reform people, mostly starting "about that five million quid", but it would be a shame to let this moment from Robert Jenrick slip past unnoticed. thecritic.co.uk/toda...

I am reminded of Elmer the elephant by the Birmingham political map of 2026 though the quite positive patchwork of harmony message of that storybook may be challenging to emulate in city local politics

I have taken the day off but have to do an important Teams call first thing. So I’m in suit and tie from the waist up, but pyjamas from the waist down. I’m not sure this was a good idea (feels kind of weird) but too late now, I’m committed.

Thanks to the abject failure of the rail system (total cancellation of all trains from Euston), I won’t be home in time to vote. There must be many, many people across the Midlands and North West in this position. It’s a fucking disgrace.

Miss17 said last night “An election campaigner called round yesterday. I wasn’t going to answer the door, but then I saw it was Reform, so i opened the door just so I could tell them to f*** off.”

Lidl: shop of horrors Little shop in the Big Woods Little ship of horrors [insert topical joke…] …

A colleague and I were observing some building work across the street. Me: they’ve not demolished that building, but they’ve replaced so many bits of it, it’s like the Ship of Theseus Him: I was thinking it’s like Trigger’s Broom Me: Well, it’s the same analogy, but with all the parts replaced.

www.maptap.gg April 30 97🔥 100🎯 96🔥 99🎯 96🔥 Final score: 974 Personal best!

Great scenes at Coventry station this morning. Info screen says that the London train has 1st class at the rear (ie not the usual end). Then the train arrives with 1st at the front. A great switcheroo on the platform takes place, like that scene from Mr Hulot’s Holiday.

So sweet 🐧✨️

www.maptap.gg April 26 100🎯 98🎯 87🎉 90👑 88🎉 Final score: 906 My best yet on Maptap!

I bought a French duck I was going to cook in a Cantonese-style barbecue sauce; but the duck escaped, covered me in the glaze, and forced me into the oven. I was hoisined by my own canard

Ironically, most penguins don't know that today is World Penguin Day. They think it's just a regular Saturday. The reason, of course, is that they refused to adopt the new Gregorian calendar in 1582, and still adhere to the old Julian one, for tax purposes.

Today is #NationalPenguinDay so we're remembering that time we made a Penguin out of Penguin Books. It's a Penguin Penguin. 🐧

Just for a minute this morning: a beautiful diffraction of light in the citrus clouds overhead.

This Is Just To Say I have turned off the AI features that were in the update and which you were probably hoping to monetize Fuck you they were stupid so unnecessary and so annoying

A secular hymn, for St George's Day. (For the Shakespearean scholars among you, yes, there's a bit missing so it fitted to four lines a verse so it would finish properly. Just chalk it up to the 'cursed' element, if you like.) #CursedCarols

Best ever PA announcement on the train just now: “Hello, can you hear me? Hello? Hello? Please can you reset my PA as I can’t make any announcement right now.” [Entire trainload of passengers bursts out laughing]

Your annual reminder that William Shakespeare was born in what is now Turkey, never visited England and almost certainly could not read or write in English.

Headline of the Day.

“So it was, on that misty morning, that Brenda set off for the capital. She knew not what she would find there, only that the time had come to move on - away from small-minded rural attitudes and people who called her ‘Oreo’ and ‘the wide panda’ - to seek a more fulfilling life.”

The slogan “Be the C Diff” definitely didn’t land the way the Cavs thought it would lol

If you think the nuclear-powered supercarrier USS Gerald R. Ford is the most powerful ship in the world, you are wrong. It's actually the German cruise ship Mein Schiff 4 (pictured), which successfully transited the Strait of Hormuz over the weekend

My sister in law has had a problem with a badger invading her garden. Last night she accidentally left out 3kg of Jerusalem Artichokes. This morning, the badger had taken most of them. Let’s hope its sett is well ventilated.

In last Sunday’s caption contest, the clever winners are: 🥇 & =🥉 to @herodotuspenguin.bsky.social 🥈 & =🥉 to @erburyoldboy.bsky.social Highly commended to @erichindle.bsky.social and @reynardo.bsky.social other half. More to amuse at #GirlsOwnCC

pigeon: (n.) the distance a pig travels in one eon

A case study in the two opposite meanings of the word “sanctioned”, and how to write a wholly ambiguous headline.

This sounds extremely silly to Brits, who can come within 200 feet of the Oval by riding a number 185 bus to Dulwich. It also sounds scary and corrupt, but that's rather less remarkable these days.

I know what you’re thinking. But honestly, it’s not mine. I just found it on the seat of the train I just boarded.

I’ve just been listening to Rossini’s Stabat Mater. Possibly the most frivolous setting of those words. It goes straight from Mary weeping at the foot of the cross, to the scene where she walks in the park with Bert the chimney sweep and dances with the bunny rabbits.

Thanks, Apple, rub it in, why don’t you?

The Devil wears Pradum.

Know someone in the writers room on this & they are setting up an AWESOME twist for the opening of S2 #nospoilers

Just wondering if I’ve been given an anti-Easter egg…

Add food to a movie name Cinnamon paradiso

Add a food to a movie name Hot Pocket Lips Now