I prefer to end my wars in private, and certainly not in front of my children. And more so if, like Trump, they were seemingly mentally challenged.

I prefer to end my wars in private, and certainly not in front of my children. And more so if, like Trump, they were seemingly mentally challenged.

I can't help feeling a bit guilty that I haven't ended any wars today. Well, not since breakfast time, anyway. Have you had your 5-a-day?

Everyone says so...truly. Trump ended the War Between the States, the Civil War AND the War of Northern Aggression. He also ended World Wars 1, 2 and 3. And let's not forget the wars over Helen of Troy, the British monarchy and Melania wanting a raise. Such a peacemaker.

Imagine going to the United Nations 🇺🇳 and making up that you ended 7 wars (to the war monitors) and then complaining about an escalator and a teleprompter, people could not contain their laughter. It’s so sad to see America 🇺🇸 run by a fool on the world stage with no sense of honesty or decorum:

Trump: We stopped the conflict between Cambodia and Armenia. It was just starting and it was a bad one. There was never a war between them. They’re 4,000 miles apart.

Earlier, Trump claimed to have ended a war between Azerbaijan and Albania. Trump is an imbecile.

No one compos mentis would say then ended a war between those nations because if you even recognize the names of the nations you know they were never at war and would never be at war. Trump declared he ended a conflict any adult would never speak of because the premise of it is instantly laughable.

And as you mourn the numberless dead of the Great Armenian-Cambodian War, remember—as Jake Tapper once told us—that it was *Biden* who was non compos mentis for his whole presidency (despite every person Tapper spoke to saying the opposite) and Trump whose fading mental stamina mustn’t be spoken of.

Where were *you* when Cambodia invaded Armenia? Personally—and I’m ashamed to admit this—I can’t remember where I was. But I do know that the first time I heard of the long, bloody war between Cambodia and Armenia was tonight—when Trump boasted of negotiating the armistice that ended the conflict.

My son watched me end 6 wars this morning, before breakfast. My breakfast. Obviously I cooked his - eggs, sausage, bacon, black pudding, field mushrooms, San Marzano tomato, baked beans, croissant, pain au chocolat, croissant with Chantilly cream and granola - while on the phone ending the wars.

I would give him a peace prize if he would just shut his fucking mouth. Permanently. It's deeply embarrassing to me to share a species with him.

I would give him a peace prize if he would just shut his fucking mouth. Permanently. It's deeply embarrassing to me to share a species with him.

What is that? A kind of group haemorrhoids treatment?

Near enough.

😅🤣😂🤣😅🤣😂🤣😅🤣😂🤣😅😂🤣😅Fkning 🤡😂😅🤣😅😂😅🤣Eric is a Moron 😂😂🤣😅😂😅🤣

Loser. I achieved world peace in my Pilates class.

My son watched me end 6 wars this morning, before breakfast. My breakfast. Obviously I cooked his - eggs, sausage, bacon, black pudding, field mushrooms, San Marzano tomato, baked beans, croissant, pain au chocolat, croissant with Chantilly cream and granola - while on the phone ending the wars.

There are few instances in which democracy demands the people *not* having their say. There is the famous one in which the women of a Swiss canton voted against giving the vote to women, but that must be almost unique. Brexit was never one of those instances.

To be more accurate, by the time that the 2nd referendum was being considered, but successfully resisted (by those like Johnson, May and Farage who were great defenders of democracy - because plainly the best way to defend democracy is not to allow it).

While there are several sorts of people who initially supported Brexit: thick, ignorant, racist, mad, deceitful who promoted it for selfish reasons knowing it would be harmful to most (eg. Gove, Johnson), by the time of the 2nd ref only 2 types remained: idiots and liars.

This is very broadly correct. Labour are wrong about a wealth tax. They are wrong about Brexit. Wrong about pensioners. Wrong about disabled. Wrong about Gaza. Wrong about weapons. Were wrong about Palestine state. Wrong pandering to Trump. Wrong rejecting socialism. Wrong about protests...

Labour ar dead as far as I'm concerned. Starmer and the NEC showed that they will not let anyone tax the rich or support the working class lead the party, only those who encourage large donations from amoral scum.

He can't be removed as PM (only the King can do that if it is clear he doesn't command the support of the House) but 20% of Labour MPs can trigger a leadership election and he can't stop it. labourlist.org/2015/08/how-...

That was when Labour was in opposition. That replaces the leader, but not the PM. It is not even clear that this process is available if the leader is PM. Obviously a vote of no confidence in government would do it, but that obviously isn't going to happen because it would cause a general election.

To be clear, Burnham said that he thought Brexit, with a TCA (the trade agreement), would be in the best interests of the British people. That has proved to be monstrously wrong, as was perfectly obvious at the time to many people So monstrously wrong that, in my view, Burnham has zero credibility.

To be clear, Burnham said that he thought Brexit, with a TCA (the trade agreement), would be in the best interests of the British people. That has proved to be monstrously wrong, as was perfectly obvious at the time to many people So monstrously wrong that, in my view, Burnham has zero credibility.

He’s not even an MP. He’s clearly got an over inflated ego and needs to shut up.

Anyway, my guess is that Starmer will be squeezed out of the premiership one way or another. I think there's a lot of pressure.

There's talk of Andy Burnham replacing Starmer. I don't like him, as he supported Brexit and said he would vote Leave in a 2nd ref. I could never support a political leader who was that wrong. There isn't, as far as I know, a mechanism in the party to replace the Labour PM unless he wishes to go.

There's talk of Andy Burnham replacing Starmer. I don't like him, as he supported Brexit and said he would vote Leave in a 2nd ref. I could never support a political leader who was that wrong. There isn't, as far as I know, a mechanism in the party to replace the Labour PM unless he wishes to go.

I'l say! Very sinister indeed! Thankfully the Lord Jesus has always protected me from escalator stoppages.

President Trump said today the Secret Service is looking into "three very sinister events" concerning issues with an escalator, teleprompter and audio at the UN a day earlier.

We're all gonna die prematurely with these chuckle fvcks pulling the strings. Thanks MAGA, you fvckin' morons.

I wouldn't even trust Donald to recommend me mcdonald's menu items much less medicines for serious conditions - what a madman

A statue of President Trump holding Jeffrey Epstein's hand was removed from the National Mall in Washington, D.C., today — one day after it was erected.

Trump delivered an embarassing performance at the UN general assembly | Mohamad Bazzi

When President Donald Trump’s administration announced it would repurpose an old, generic drug as a new treatment for autism, it came as a surprise to many experts — including the physician who suggested the idea to the nation’s top health officials. https://to.pbs.org/4gFdzkv

I confess. It was me. I sabotaged his elevator. It incorporates a sniffer device that brings it to an immediate halt when it detects a foul odour. www.bloomberg.com/news/article...

I confess. It was me. I sabotaged his elevator. It incorporates a sniffer device that brings it to an immediate halt when it detects a foul odour. www.bloomberg.com/news/article...

I'm British. He's brutish. I've never grabbed anything. He grabs absolutely everything.

It is a bit tough being suave and debonair when you're rotting from the inside out.

Has anyone else noticed that absolutely everything that Trump does is brutish? He is the very epitome of a brute.

Has anyone else noticed that absolutely everything that Trump does is brutish? He is the very epitome of a brute.

Trump admits that his onanism is a “horrible, horrible crisis”. I must agree. Oh, wait...

The late night talk show was suspended for five days following a monologue in which Jimmy Kimmel blasted supporters of President Donald Trump following the assassination of Charlie Kirk.

In a new, scathing Financial Times op-ed, the former Sequoia Capital honcho compares the White House to Tony Soprano's pork store, calling its new H-1B visa plan another "brutish extortion scheme."

I simply do not believe that pregnant mothers taking too much Tylenol causes judaism in children. Oh wait .. autism. Nah. Don't believe that either.

I simply do not believe that pregnant mothers taking too much Tylenol causes judaism in children. Oh wait .. autism. Nah. Don't believe that either.

During WW1 there was a rumour that aspirin caused the Spanish Flu. As I was writing about that last year I often shook my head in disbelief at the stupidity of our near ancestors. Seems a lot of people are still dumb enough to believe nonsense.