Marty Supreme looks a little too heavy for me. Can I just get the Marty Meat Lover’s?

“No, Tiny Tim. I expect you to die.”

six months ago Reader’s Digest asked if they could purchase the publishing rights for this elaborate shitpost I wrote a year ago now wherein I pretended to be the elf equivalent of David Brooks at the North Pole. Thought it was maybe a phishing scam but it’s real LMAOO

Last Christmas I gave you Paul Blart And the very next day, you broke the DVD tray

Ben Sasse Man Apocalypse

Perhaps the sassy man apocalypse did occur and we are now the sassy man leftovers

When you’re really horny for JarJar Binks, that’s called being down bombad

I will hug all the uncs no matter how chopped they are

“What if your fave is in the Epstein Files” Me: Not possible. (Looks) Aw dammit!

Pantone just updated their Color Of The Year

Why did David Duchovny always looks so sad when he was reading about people having sex?

Oh, you made an action movie? How cute. Which one was it?

*Watching the drama around the new Animal Farm* “This is like 1984!

for those that wanted to see the clip of him being genuinely annoyed at the suggestion ai podcasts are good after he spends time glazing ai music lol

Spoiler: When people say they are “on that grind”, they always just mean they’re doing a lot of meth.

USA 🇺🇸 USA 🇺🇸!

the “you should love ai” line is best outlined by a recent joe rogan episode. he LOVES ai music and always tells guests this. a guest pushed back on him saying “i’ve heard ai podcasts are amazing too” and joe rogan immediately pushes back. losers love it until it comes for them

Them: We got rooty-toot-toots. Me: Not interested. Them: And also rummy-tum-tums Me: Now you have my attention

Honestly not sure why anyone considered being able to act competently in a mo-cap suit and being personally pleasant as qualification enough for directing a multimillion dollar movie.

“What happened to <insert public intellectual>?” Oh they’re stupid. They’ve always been stupid, in the sense that the ideas they have are bad. They experience the world in a stupid way and draw stupid conclusions because they’re stupid. People just think they’re smart because they had a blog

Is Vixen the slutty reindeer?

I can’t emphasize enough how much you need to watch this until the end

“As a teenager I tried working at a pizza place and MacDonalds [sic]. I was the worst employee there. I actually felt sympathy for low IQ kids, knowing that this is what they must’ve felt like in school. Blacks and Mexicans shook their heads at me.… It was really traumatic.” -Hanania

looking forward to 2 Casa 2 Blanca

Joining the Class War on the side of ass

President Obama, please extend the theatrical window

Can’t believe everyone is getting upset about Quentin Tarantino releasing his wikifeet rankings.

This is how they are building the East Wing Ballroom

I bet the when Weyland Yutani synths put that isb needle in their ear it feels so good.

Democrats should just go with the slogan “Big Tits”. Everyone understands that.

I’m glad we have a President willing to ask the important questions like, “Whose dick do you have to suck to get a fourth Rush Hour movie?”

Watched Harakiri (1962) with @cruzflores.bsky.social for the show and this was our big takeaway.

The Danish Deception dir. by Wes Anderson coming 2026

Waymo privatized another public street: Chanel approaching 4th, San Francisco Possibly queued for a Billie Eilish show at Chase Center ~half mile away. The light rail train on 4th seen passing in front of this roboherd has more passenger capacity than all of them combined. OP: .tiktok.renaspam18

i have something to say

Really loved Predator: Badlands and equally looking forward to Predator: Promised Land and Predator: Darkness on the Edge of Town.

Really enjoyed Predator: Badlands but this was in my head for a lot of it

Yeah, my band does heavy metal versions of Christmas carols. We’re called Five Finger

X has changed their policy and now you can see where the accounts are based. Here’s an “influencer from Texas”

they should invent a tranquilizer dart you can use on your kids

I don’t think political pundits understand the hypocrisy of the American voter. A democratic politician would get more votes from people who voted for Trump by calling Trump supporters “pedophile supporters” than by any weak willed shit like “voting for Trump doesn’t reflect your values”

Every day someone new learns that Oscar Isaac was in a late 90s Christian ska band. Who will today’s person be.

Megyn R Kelly.

Asking AI Jesus about the Trump/Clinton blowie thing