Sorry babe the CD shaped like Yoshi's head stays on during sex

@badposter.lol Skip said I could go to the cowboy party

Centrists have to be the dumbest motherfuckers in this country and yes I am including the people who ate horse paste to cure a disease

How much do you think I got to slip the carnival worker to let me put my head down on that big mallet test your strength game? Like a fiver?

Grim news friends, I woke up in America again today

[about to go smash things in your garage with a hammer voice] bro do you want to feel alive again?

yeah i dunno dude incrementalism starts to look real fuckin dumb when an opposition party can completely wipe away 50-75 years of progress in just a few months

alright everyone line up for your goodnight kiss

I could really get down filthy on some Italian right now

Americans solving the trolley problem like "I'd just drive?"

You can call my political opinions doomerism if you want but it all stems from this truth: Unless Americans as a whole give up on individualistic goals and start supporting collective good, then there is no future for this country. And I simply do not see that happening.

"In this hot military shooter, we show you how COOL it is to join the military and shoot enemies called "Generic enemies of America". Now take a look at this action game where beloved comic book character literally flays a man alive."

Watching gaming presentations aimed at Gamers, I just don't think I like video games??

Being hyperaware that life will not meaningfully improve in my lifetime means the only thing that will truly fix me is blunt forced trauma to my dome

Liberals leaning back in their chairs, fingers interwoven behind their heads, after renewing their Disney + subscriptions: "I saved James Kimnel's job"

"You must be fun at parties" I'm not.

Looking at my recent posts: "the people missed this"

(Trying to explain vacation time to Americans) okay, so imagine not working...

I told him he should be more grateful and he said, “gratitude is a sickness suffered by dogs” 🙄

fuck, thank you for pointing out the Gamers. At the VIDEO GAME CONVENTION.

Every room is an escape room if you don't want to be there

myherozero is back, in Pog™️ form!

Hey, meet me behind the closed Walgreens, we are gonna huff the New Clean Scent Dawn and rank Godzilla monsters on fuckability

You can tell video games are pretend because in several of them you can own a house

Free dating app pick up line [Autumn Edition]: "What's your pumpkin patch fit looking like?"

No room in Heaven for sweetiepies I guess

Got out of bed because I forgot to leave out milk and cookies for the Rapture Ghost

I hope I lose my virginity before the Rapture (the real one)

RPGs have complex main character motivations, such as your dad was a hero but now he is missing or your dad is voiced by Liam Neeson but now he is missing

It is genuinely hilarious to vote unanimously for a national day of remembrance for someone who will be forgotten before it is even celebrated once

"hey, baby, you got any *fantasies*" Me, thinking about Final Fantasy: "yeah, I got a couple of 'em"

"This town aint big enough for the both of us..." *Leaves*

This is about @myherozero.bsky.social

Every day I wait for the event that will break my brain and I can be free from reason and each day I toil away for naught

Happy birthday Advance Wars on the Nintendo Gameboy Advance

Captain Falcon voice: SHOW ME YOUR GOOPS

Meet me at the entrance of Camp Snoopy for your ass-kicking, blockhead

Huge news everyone except my haters

your Average Joe gamer will come up with a million excuses why [X] game "isn't actually that hard." but I have a promise to you, proud citizens of ohio. that's right! I promise! that when a game is hard, I will have the bravery, the gumption, and the chutzpah...to simply say so! (ohio: applauds)

god it would be so fucking funny if i blocked you but i dont have the heart

Wait, does that work? Man, Ocarina of Time is OVERRATED and SUCKS

Good reaction image for some of the stupid horseshit I have seen on this website

I just saw a giant pick up truck with two Totoro stickers on the back and I got to say, I think that person missed a few of the obvious themes of that movie

My body is a machine that turns a sleeve of graham crackers into an empty sleeve of graham crackers

I might get gooped up later again. We all love to get gooped up don't we?

"I better dust my Dead Island Collector's Edition statue, I have a date coming over!" is something I guarantee has never been said

Me at McDonald’s drive thru: I’ll have the number 9 with no onions, extra mustard, medium fries, with a large Diet Coke. What do you want, hun? Wife with early 2000s jiggle physics: I can’t stop fucking bobbling around man

Yelling "APPLYING THE GOOP" as I put on sunscreen

Oh, yikes, just now hearing about the problematic trolley