The thing about school is that it sucks ass and fuck you. If you can't understand that as a parent I cannot relate to you

The internet used to make people the cool kind of crazy (FREAKAZOID ™️) and now it just makes people the bad kind of crazy (Nazis)

Honestly, this is any time I tell my wife about any game I’m playing. She once described my palette for games as “games that are boring and feel like work” (I was explaining the smithing process in Vintage Story)

No, sorry

Jimmy Kimmelself

Telling my wife about the new mining ship I built in Space Engineers

It’s been a hard days night And I’ve been beatin off my hog

Working sucks. I’d rather be jacking off at home to gigantic huge juicy delicious tits!! Who else with me????

A planet with horizon to horizon seas of stew

Beefer Sutherland

Jesus H Entertainment Christ

Disney Adults, welcome to the resistance

i wanna get a new job, talk normal for 6 months then start hittin em w/the voices... Harb Doyle Private Eye, Creamy McCracken, Bonkster, Whoa-Whoa Jones, etc. you didnt just hire one man, you hired dozens. and i will expect full pay for each

Too little, too late.

I gouache’d a punkin. Never done gouache before so this is fun

Lowkey fuck yourself Highkey eat my fucking shit and hair

Probably won’t even get a day off so how much do they actually care about him

Labubus cannot be baptized as the perpetual internal machine within repels all but the most divine means of purification.

#twerkforkirk get it trending we’re gonna show our respects to big Chuck by clapping them cheeks to the beat #twerkforkirk #twerkforkirk #twerkforkirk #twerkforkirk #twerkforkirk #twerkforkirk

I’m declaring war against all white people named terry

I just saw Jesus in the gas station [poem post]

In my dull-eyed cretin era

God went out for cigarettes and never came back While his devoted children turned Him into a damning Cruel, angry person. A vindictive slinger of fire. When he was really just A loser who couldn’t look in a mirror.

Pokemon go on get out of here! Can’t you see we don’t want you anymore? Go back to where you came from, you hairy beast!

Need more jazz songs that have a voice yelling OH YEEAAAAAAH in the background. youtu.be/J0FcKOfRgvE?...

Okay stand back and read me the eighth line, if you could please.

Things I have heard my teacher colleagues talk openly about to each other: - black people are genetically predisposed to better athletic performance - Covid and AIDs are related illnesses - illegal immigrants are ruining the economy And these are just the things I can think of in 10 seconds.

I’M YOUR VENUSSSSS-AH I’M YOUR FIYAH YOUR DESIRRRRRRRE-AH

Grok is this good

“Sir I have never once scared the hoes in my life”

Working on my dead-eyed stare. Getting really good at projecting an air of lights being on but no one is home. Feels spiritually enlightening.

When is Marvel gonna make a movie about a real superhero: my Uncle Hubert who used to crush aluminum cans in the middle of the night while weeping loudly and blasting Whitesnake

My 11yo daughter just walked in the room, looked at the tv, and said "is that a meme." I get she's new to internet culture but no. That is Harvey Keitel in Bad Lieutenant smoking crack. It would be a fire meme tho

What a stupid ass government system that some dumb asshole with no academic credentials can just come in and undo important societal progress that took years to implement. This could be about like 100 different assholes so put whatever face you want on it. They all should eat dirt.

What he, and every other bitter Silicon Valley pisshead, wants to say is “People who don’t buy my products are retarded” but we’re fortunately still in a cultural landscape where that would come off really negatively and probably hurt shareholder value.

Beltin this shit out at the top of my lungs youtu.be/9kkDgx01aHc?...

Alan Jackson kinda slaps ngl

Newspapers should shut the fuck up

Butterscotch chips > chocolate chips. Waiting for butterscotch to get its deserved moment in the zeitgeist sun

Fucked my YouTube algorithm for next week because I wanted to watch Dracula Flow and I fatfingered “dracarys”, the dragon from game of thrones

Anti-ad post: Degree deodorant sucks shit. Can’t handle the way a normal person stinks worth anything. 48 hour protection? More like 4 hours max. I don’t even sweat much at all. Bigger letdown than Queens of the Stone Age’s VILLAINS album. Smells ok pre-use but i don’t want a gd air freshener. 2/10

A hundred Zapruder Films every time now

The amount of middle school kids, aged 11-13, talking about the thing from yesterday is both surprising and not. I don’t know how much they actually know about him or if it’s just “hey a public figure ate it and you can easily find the video” but it’s giving me the bends.

Only relatable op ed writer

The Amphora of Great Intelligence (AGI) #webcomic #krita #miniFantasyTheater

Unnamed sources within law enforcement claim a weapon has been found and every bullet has an entire paragraph of trans ideology and a small illustration of a "down with Cis" bus and also a discarded keffiyeh too and the bullets were making babies and one of the baby bullets looked at me.

Charles Entertainment Kirk

Can’t believe I forgot to post the 9-11 Oysters with Chipotle Remoulade this year