Who up wanting a nap

wwe released me today and I never even worked there what the hell

theres no rules anymore. up is right, blue is down, wu-tang clan can now be fucked with freely

At least she didn't just say WAFFLES! this time?

Best friend is pissed at me for getting pissed at her, car broke down, head shavin day cancelled due to car breaking down, and my dog stole the only thing I almost had to eat today. Happy wednesday

Tool is just phish for metalheads

sh-shut up!

Little Caesar should sell refrigerated day old pizza for the morning after

This is deranged. And between it and Vance's bad meetings with the Pope, the Pope's upbraiding of Hegseth, and DoD's threat of unleashing another schism on the Vatican, I think it is fair to say no English-speaking world leader has been more actively at war with the Catholic church since Henry VIII.

'the pope is an American because the Vatican is out to get me' is terrific because it's both a thing an insane person would think and also probably true.

lmao remember that time jason voorhees punched that dudes head off

Trying to make friends in your 40s be like haha yeah RoboCop amirite?! then sitting on the edge of your bed later staring at the floor for 27 minutes wondering where it all went wrong

They should all start snapping their fingers and sing song from Hamilton, that'll teach him

UPS can kiss every single millimeter of my ass, and that thing is huge

You know what? Fuck coconuts.

If you had a clone would you give them a little nite nite kiss on their forehead

Feeling like a mandatory 72 hour hold wouldn't be so bad, but I also found out you can beat bop-it tonight so there is that

you can just lie on the internet and stupid idiots will believe you

who will the krustenstein or whatever brothers cheer on now

Perfect

Amazing how you can be legitimately enjoying something and be miserable at the same time

Today is the day we celebrate the time Chaka Khan was granted the power of every woman to defeat Frieza's grandfather Frigidaire

why are they so funny

Might be a hot take on this, the day of international women, but personally I think women are rad. Ok see ya later

hey google, what song did I want to hear a few minutes ago before I got distracted

My oldest son just came in all nervous and said I'm sorry dad, my co-worker is coming to get me to take me to work today. I told him why are you sorry, thats great news. I don't have to put pants on and leave my house, oh no

Feeling cute, might delete later

Ferrets are made of butter

Being a little kitty cat must be nice

A friend is going through old family photos and posted one with her uncle wearing a shirt that just says BEER. I dont even drink but I kinda want that

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

You're in her DMs, I'm also in her DMs. She's ignoring both of us. You don't exist, neither does she. Where am I

While we’re at it can we please stop it with this Red State vs Blue State horseshit? That’s just another tool they use to keep us at each other’s throats instead of theirs.

happy birthday joe estavez I loved you in soultaker

Might read dragonlance again to see if it's bad now that I am an old

If jack the ripper had been named Greg the haberdasher no one would have cared about him

kinda funny how hope can lead to despair

Michael Dukakis help us!!1 What does Al Gore think?!

watching a movie and iowa was mentioned so I had to stop and listen to korn

Does ACAB include Dale Cooper

might fuck around and ice skate uphill

It's so cold im debating wearing pants in my own home

🎵I would fly 5000 miles And I would fly 5000 more Just to the man who flew 10,000 miles To be a giant dork🎵

So scooter finally kicked it

Been rewatching Golden Girls. Grew up with the dub, it's crazy how different the sub is.

Who wants a hug that lasts just a bit too long

To all of my moots, yowie wowie, respectfully

trying really hard to not post the fuck you it's january video too early