"You were not put on this planet to sit at home and watch television." You mean like your boss???

Why sheriff Taylor doesn't carry a gun. Clip from 'The Andy Griffith Show', season 5, episode 23. Broadcast on March 1st, 1965.

How most people relate to AI:

When your character's story is so f'ed up, you have to put out a companion comic just to explain what's going on in the main comic:

"Mom, can we stop and get some M&M's?" "No, we have M&M's at home." The M&M's we have at home:

ah, well, nevertheless,,

Watching Game 3 of the NBA finals and they flash of shot of Trump and Mike Breen is is like "and he's a long-time Knicks fan". Jesus fucking christ, Mike...lick any good boots lately? My god, man...have a LITTLE fucking dignity.

g̶o̶ ̶s̶p̶u̶r̶s̶⁣ g̶o̶ ̶k̶n̶i̶c̶k̶s̶ go natural causes

Fuck Tom Brady.

Adam Silver is the definition of a "spineless cuck". And he always has been.

At one point the word “Gagh” is translated as “serpent worms.” Why are you people not founding black metal bands called Serpent Worms? Do I have to fucking think of everything?

Reporters: Why? Republicans: Because. This is literally the only message they're running on in the mid-terms: because Trump said so. Proving once again that every member of the GOP is a 12 year-old.

"JD Vance wants to fuck Erika Kirk" There...wrote your headline for you.

Trump: "Hang on...let me make everything worse just by existing."

"Go ahead, Chris..we're gonna add SO many lens flares in post."

How I wake up and face each day:

What bigotry and hate looks like.

A photo of a liminal space with a poster for "Backrooms" is:

There are 2 trees in this picture. He's climbing one and swinging the other.

It should be the sworn duty of every interviewer now to ask him questions and press him on shit that makes him so fucking mad and pissed off that it finally triggers that heart attack or pops that aneurysm and we'll finally be rid of him.

"Oh, stop crying...bald Odo doesn't exist. He can't actually hurt y--"

The good news is that there's still plenty of shit you can buy AT the game to throw.

That's what they kept telling us about "New Coke".

Grant Green was born on this day June 6, 1935 in St. Louis. With his distinctive sound & style the prolific guitarist was the soul of Blue Note thru the 1960s & early ‘70s recording dozens of great hard bop, soul jazz & jazz-funk albums. Stream our spotlight playlist: bluenote.lnk.to/GrantGreenFi...

In which Bill Maher, once again, proves that he one of the dumbest fucking assholes on the planet.

Anyone that's still asking if we're living in an authoritarian state deserves to get punched in the face.

Star Trek II is the connective tissue between my childhood trek fandom as a 70s syndication generation kid, and my teen fandom that eventually blossomed into the Tango that I am today—It’s special for so many reasons, but to some of us of a certain age, this movie means a lot for a lotta reasons 🖖

Long-haired T'Pol in TOS uniform...

They made Dead Bread.

OK...where the hell was I for THIS crossover episode???

Not shedding one tear for any and all bad shit that happens to Comey.

Chicago Bears: "Pay us to stay here." Illinois: "Nope."

Every serious story from actual journalists is now just "OH MY GOD IT'S SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE THAN YOU EVER IMAGINED!"

The reason "casual Fridays" were banned on the Enterprise:

How is George Santos still a thing at this point? Like, he's the political version of herpes you can never get rid of.

“Daddy?” “Yes Johnny?” “Donald Trump deported my friends, closed my school, forced you to sell the family farm and took mommy’s cancer medicine away, so why did you vote for him again?” “Because we needed to paint the reflecting pool, son.”

Here's this Professor Bobo piece I made

"It's got a very 70's porno vibe to it...very classy, Mr. Pike."

Not gonna lie...could've used this more than once in my life.

Wait, so when a bunch of Klingons show up, they surrender...but when the bulk of Starfleet shows up at Vulcan, they just blast the shit out of them like it was nothing??? Stupid shit like this is why I hate the Kelvin-universe movies.

Is there a pool for how long into his performance before Lee Greenwood drops dead? If so, I want "7 minutes".

Trump administration officials rehearsing their responses to Democrats' questions when they're about to testify in front of Congress.

They didn't fall out...they're escaping.

"F***ing Windows 11."

They also don't take a great big shit in the middle of filming a scene.

The most important cultural lesson of the late 80s/early 90s

Pat Bagley, Salt Lake Tribune: the wind blowing from the Supreme Court brings the smell of rotting fish and fecal matter