sisters chat

Raffi you’re so right

the only problem with being everyones favorite nudist is i can’t follow the etiquette of whether or not im allowed to sit on peoples furniture with my ass out

local trans punk band breaks up, frontwoman releases article in rolling stone about how cancel culture went too far this time. she also admits to yelling at her bandmates and causing three of them to quit and leveraging the state against one. but that’s not why this happened. it was cancel culture

Missing Something this month

now that they’ve printed an mtg card with benedict cumberbatch’s face on it i’d like to officially announce my resignation from having sex with girls who play mtg

cis girls will fuck a dude cause he says he likes the oxford comma

new look

i love the way peoples experiences with weed range from “i’m 65 years old and it helps me with my arthritis :)” to “it trapped me in the demon realm for a thousand years and also i threw up”

keeping my no loads refused party trans inclusive by adding a NOTAFLOL clause (no one turned away for lack of loads)

its kinda gauche and vaguely homophobic to imply that all homophobes are secretly gay and i know thats frustrating because omg its like literally all of them

looking like shit but kinda an innovative new kind of shit

after hes out of office they should leave everything alone. obviously the president of the united states lives in a minigolf decoration. we are a minigolf nation

Mk ultra failed because the metaphor they were attached to for the human mind was a record player A computer also wouldn't have worked but mkultra 6 in 2150 will finally have the correct brain metaphor and then finally all my dreams can come true

i helped a friend move this morning then came home and still found the energy for my daily 20 minute bike ride. i’m so powerful

im a noob for pussy

i think cycling caps are adorable but i haven’t been biking long enough to have earned it. the guys at the bike shop would laugh at me and kick me

they said i can smoke weed again cause ive been good

lmao

every day somewhere between 2 and 5 i start to realize that time is passing and become very afraid that it might do so incorrectly. i don’t know why i do this

wow ! i’m evil and broken

ahhhhhhhhhhhgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

sometimes i think weed is like the opposite of a gateway drug for me. if i can keep up having a lightly tumultuous but ultimately pretty mild weed problem then i wont have the energy to develop real drug problems

27 YEAR OLD GUY WITH AN EARTHBOUND TATTOO: Puss in Boots The Last Wish had the best depiction of panic attacks I've ever seen. THAT GUY'S BISEXUAL GF POSTING ON THREADS: Punk rock is when I return my library books on time! TAPEWORM INSIDE A 90 POUND BOTTOM: Where the fuck is the food around here

Gf: whos the little guy Me: his names Tasslehoff Burrfoot Gf: whats that big stick hes got Me: its called a hoopak Gf: whered he get it Me: probably kendermore. Thats the home city of the kender, of which he is one Gf: whens my birthday Me: is it in one of the months the sun wears sunglasses

pedophiles have a natural animosity towards other pedophiles it’s like how dogs bark when they see another dog

yeah man that guy got canceled. his life got ruined. he has an army of guys that defend him and makes a few grand every month because of them. the woman who canceled him? yeah she did it for the clout only. she's famous. she's known as "the woman who can't go anywhere without immediate harassment"

charlie brown had holes

mallory never wears makeup or clothes that fit but she’s 5’3” and has the voice of a mathlete so a lot of people don’t realize she’s trans

where the fuck do i get parb oil i need to cook these potatoes

if i go too long without shaving i run the risk of being seen as the most beautiful man alive

100 happy puppies waiting to be pet! puppys on the clouds in heaven! on their bellies waiting to be pet! heaven really rocks!

i still can’t believe they suspended mallory for this. she explicitly wasn’t threatening him

ever since i started biking i keep looking at my thighs expectantly the way you look at your chest when you first start hrt

i’m gonna take a tolerance break when i run out of weed. i’m saying it out loud so i do it. if i dont do it im letting my fans down

i show up to the function. feeling kinda nervous. everyone receives a mission objective on their hud:

this is what it's like

why you 🫵 should be getting squoze by me

can we normalize biting and biting and biting and

i have been dating my sister for two years as of two days ago :)

omg i just got my first porn bot on here. finally feels like home

it is so important to be naked

i have a lil cheap headlight on my bike and when i was riding home i could see the whole light beam with all the smoke and rain. it was kinda cool

(this post takes place in an alternate universe where “knuckling” is a slang term for fingering someone knuckle deep) he did WHAT to the echidna?

All these women telling me my "dick is trash" are demonstrating a troubling group think that we should really address

it’s 800 million degrees and they expect us to follow indecent exposure laws

someone should buy me a switch 2. it’s my birthday. im the birthday girl you gotta buy me a switch 2. that’s just how it is. my birthday was actually a month ago. it’s time to buy me a switch 2 baby it’s my birthday

it’s weird that anyone still gets around to having conspiracy theories when shit like this is just public

I intend to twink die the same way I was twink born, naked and screaming