THEY OUT HERE SPLURGING ON CHICKEN

man I’m sorry to be all corny here but when I see a “the city is beautiful! There’s more to it than homeless people!” I gotta say you know who’s also beautiful? People who have no place to live & are trying to get by in a system that has turned its back on them & if you don’t see that that’s on you

Which brings us back to the funniest video in internet history.

Gasolina

The stories with her lately have had me thinking about how they threw Alex Honnold in an fMRI and were like "oh this MFer's amygdala just doesn't really activate at all" And I feel like at least some high-level alpine skiers have gotta have something similar going on

How bout yall embrace my ass

The Patriots shall not be vanquished till Birnam wood remove to Dunsinane!

I'm hardly the first person to note this, but it's enormously instructive that our President and his followers saw the message "THE ONLY THING MORE POWERFUL THAN HATE IS LOVE" and understood it, correctly, as an attack on them

“The only thing more powerful than hate is love.” MAGA wanted you to boycott this.

Green Day should shut up about politics and just stick to singing songs about politics.

We're watching the Olympics opening ceremony at my sister's place with friends of theirs who are Australian And let me tell you, if you are a person who is predisposed to echolalia, being in the physical presence of Australian accents is a CHALLENGE

hwhat

We're in student course feedback survey season, and as much as I love the times I get stuff like "Mister ur the goat!!!!", I think I got one of my favorite [anonymous] comments ever today: "This has been one of the hardest yet most enjoyable classes [in high school]"

I can officially confirm that the snow in NC is roughly one (1) corgi deep

When I get some time to put real forethought into notes for my AP Physics C class and make something ~~aesthetic~~

New album cover goes so hard

Props to anyone mature enough to not answer "I REQUIRE A TUG", couldn't be me tho

our country's political window shifting as far right as it has is due entirely to a repeated process of Republicans doing things they aren't allowed to do and Democrats responding not with sanctions but a repeated demand that Republicans knock it off, already. it's how Roe v Wade got overturned!

Can't get on board with this, because the primary argument against Belichick's greatness is that Brady carried him, and I hate Tom Brady too much to give him that kinda credit

Today's amusing is being an intimidating dad but not in the old-fashioned way Not "you're not manly enough to date my daughter" but like "you haven't deconstructed the ingrained patriarchy enough to date my daughter" (It's a girl btw ☺️)

imgaine getting sent packing with your ass in your own two hands by some of the nicest people in the world and then showing up in a city that is famous for booing santa claus

Now that blood is on the street, we still won’t admit you’ve been right all decade long while we scolded and marginalized you. Instead, we’ll declare it’s just now become right to say such things.

someone in a nail polish subreddit created a shade that matches the one in this photo and is selling it on etsy so she can afford to buy her boyfriend a bulletproof vest to wear while doing ICE watch at home depot. we live in hell but we are going to fucking win.

"You Oughta Know" popped up on shuffle and it will never not be hilarious that it's fucking Dave Navarro and Flea playing guitar and bass on that track

I am physiologically incapable of hearing "Ms. Jackson" without singing the "I am four eels" lyrics instead

In my first episode, I nearly ran (all but the $400 clue) a category on fighter planes in DJ, and that basically won me the game. The hardest clue in it was a sports question, really—about a Paris tennis venue named for a WWII fighter pilot. Plenty of Jeopardy contestants know ball!!!

Told the extended family today and we had the second biggest news item of the day, after Charles Bediako being eligible to play against Tennessee on Saturday

Hey, so—I'm . . . gonna be a dad! That's a thing that's happening and I think it's pretty cool!

There's a song from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is "Oh My God I Think I Like You", and I've had the first line of the bridge—"Are there condoms that can prevent these feelings?"—stuck in my head all day Which is not a line you can sing out loud at work, *especially* if you work at a school

Any ref that throws a flag for excessive celebration on a national championship-winning interception should be fired out of a cannon into the sun

for all who observe —happy 7th anniversary to this wild mlk twitter moment

We gotta come up with a different, newfangled-sounding term for babies that cry too much. "Colic"? No way man, that's some Victorian shit. Next you're gonna tell me the kid's caught the grippe and needs to recuperate by the sea.

Quite a quote from Texans LB Azeez Al-Shaair, who was asked about his STOP THE GENOCIDE eye black after today’s game www.usatoday.com/story/sports...

Devastated to report that I am in love with Ryan Clark's ridiculous jacket

(the Panthers made the right choice in that draft all along)

Henry To'o To'o being a consistent NFL starter after the way his Alabama career went makes me mad at Pete Golding all over again

Will Anderson and the rest of the Texans' defense as Sisyphus pushing the boulder of "CJ Stroud YOLO turnovers" up the hill

The Texans defense whenever they on the sideline

Sorry to my Texans fan friends here in Houston but this is tremendous

*That's* an illegal shift? Really??

We need to recruit Kennesaw State into the conference and set the schedules up so all four teams play each other every year in every sport in competition for the SUPERB OWL trophy

Was kinda ready to give up on the Warriors for this year because the vibes were so rancid and yet somehow they're pretty good anyway?

A book, an overstuffed sandwich, and an absurdly strong Belgian beer. You did not enjoy your Saturday night as much as I did.

Lmfaooooo this game is incredible [derogatory]

The Broncos have the mandate of heaven now

Alabama got a transfer center named "Racin", somebody get that boy a Talladega sponsorship

*Powerthirst voice* have you ever needed an ENERGY DRINK for YOUR ASS

Remember that a major principle of the MAGA movement is that you should never have to face any consequences, no matter how minor, for your actions.

Working at a school is so dope if you're a nerd. I had last period off, so I took a walk. Saw one of my favorite colleagues teaching her senior English class on the lawn, so I went over and sat down with them and she tossed me the book and I read along and listened to them talk about it. Cool shit!