Sorta scans

This ad about how great Google Gemini is ends by telling us how Ted, the protagonist and a big James Blunt fan, “found something he didn’t even know he was looking for” at a James Blunt concert where James Blunt is playing not “High” by James Blunt but “She’s So High” by Tal Bachman.

Robert Rodriguez understood “the need to balance the brutality with beauty,” @robertguydavis.bsky.social writes. “And casting two of the most beautiful people to grace movie screens in the last half-century or so is what elevates ‘Desperado’ to another echelon.” crookedmarquee.com/annihilation...

Robert Rodriguez understood “the need to balance the brutality with beauty,” @robertguydavis.bsky.social writes. “And casting two of the most beautiful people to grace movie screens in the last half-century or so is what elevates ‘Desperado’ to another echelon.” crookedmarquee.com/annihilation...

Hell, even Quentin Tarantino looks movie-star handsome (well, kinda) in this one! It's me at @crooked-marquee.bsky.social breaking out the six-string to sing the praises of Robert Rodriguez's DESPERADO, turning 30 this year! crookedmarquee.com/annihilation...

Social media tip: think of something innocuous that you don’t mind seeing a lot of but you’re not really going to be tempted to spend money on (for me watches) then search that a few times and every now and then hit an advert. That fills your feed with watch adverts and keeps out shit you don’t want

"Anderson had a *vision*. A loud, lurid, lizard-brain vision, sure, but isn’t that what one wants from MORTAL KOMBAT?" Hey, it's me at @crooked-marquee.bsky.social with a flawless victory of a piece, celebrating Paul W.S. Anderson's 1995 MORTAL KOMBAT! crookedmarquee.com/the-fun-of-t...

Hey, it's me writing up the latest instalment of the Binge/Foxtel legal drama THE TWELVE for @screenhub.bsky.social! Is CAPE ROCK KILLER filler or a thriller? There's one* way to find out, and that's by clicking that link. *two, if you count watching the show www.screenhub.com.au/news/reviews...

Underrated big shift in the influencer era in terms of who has cultural capital: away from performers, writers, artists, musicians etc and to people who are really good at running a small business and doing SEO/social media. Pretty polar opposite political valences in those skillsets.

If you're a sucker for bloodsuckers, snap up the bumper @umbrellaent.bsky.social Collector's Edition set of DAYBREAKERS immediately! And be sure to get the CE for a couple of great essays by yours truly 🦇🧛‍♂️

In “The Island,” blockbuster filmmaker Michael Bay added social commentary and existential dread to his trademark Bayhem. Two great tastes that taste great together? More like an intriguing flavor imbalance, @robertguydavis.bsky.social writes: crookedmarquee.com/brother-can-...

What happens when Hollywood's alpha male of action cinema slips a little existentialism into his escapism? With “The Island,” the results are somewhat confusing but strangely compelling. crookedmarquee.com/brother-can-...

Hey, it's me at @crooked-marquee.bsky.social setting sail for Michael Bay's THE ISLAND for its 20th anniversary: crookedmarquee.com/brother-can-...

"I guess anything that's feature-length and in focus would be seen as a comeback after CAPTAIN AMERICA: BRAVE NEW TURD (thanks for saving me a seat at the Algonquin Round Table, guys)." You seen BOLTS*? I have. Talked 'bout it on @letterboxd.social boxd.it/abUsRj

"You want to know who my mother and father are? You want to know who my god is? Fear. Look inside me and that's all you'll find." Fucking transcendent film. Open your eyes, let in the light. Lead me into LAST TEMPTATION on @letterboxd.social boxd.it/abIhO5

"I know everyone's saying Cera was tailor-made for WesWorld but he's *amazing* in this, not only a natural for Anderson's style but showing that he might be one of the best actors we've got right now." SCHEME-ing up a storm on @letterboxd.social boxd.it/aalhWX

"I've used this line when it comes to my man Soderbergh before, probably regarding O12, but watching this is like sliding into a well-cut suit or sipping an impeccable single malt - you just feel *cooler* having watched it." BLACK BAG-gin' it on @letterboxd.social boxd.it/aajX5n

Late Movie is The Jericho Mile (1979). youtu.be/LP12IEkNalg?...

Hey, it's me at @screenhub.bsky.social writing up the sweet, sensitive and moving limited series MIX TAPE, premiering June 12 on Foxtel. I liked writing the show; I loved writing the review www.screenhub.com.au/news/reviews...

it's so bleak that for years we've all be so worried about there being no venues to write when in reality the danger is that no one will be able to read anyway lol

Hey, it's me celebrating the 20th birthday of Jaume Collet-Serra's HOUSE OF WAX for @crooked-marquee.bsky.social

When I get mad/And I get pissed/ I grab my pen and I write out a list/ Of all the people that won't be missed/ You've made my SHITLIST

Cop: Sir, do you know how fast you were going Me: "Radar Love" was on Cop: Carry on u rad motherfucker

How have I never heard of this? Dope cast, my man Sheridan getting a rare lead, directed by VARIETY's Bette Gordon? Nice!

It'd be great if MTG was some outlier or rogue element but sadly she seemed emblematic of a political apparatus that is rattling, spluttering and on the verge of catastrophic failure

The other day I read that Fincher originally wanted Julia Louis-Dreyfus to play Marla in FIGHT CLUB, and while I think Helena Bonham Carter is wonderful in the film, I am now obsessed with this idea

Random New York shots

55 foxes 🦊

Terrific, if depressing, thread about the history of the movie industry and how the pricks of yesteryear are preferable to the empty suits and pablum pushers we have now

From a recent interview with John Sayles: Another reason to hate Warner Bros

THE FIREMAN 3: CIA CRACKDOWN (Cliff Booth, 1986) A retired vigilante cop (Rick Dalton) must once again don his flamethrower to wreak vengeance upon murderous realtors (Wings Hauser, Michael Ironside, Robert Davi) and a nosey CIA agent (John Saxon).

Thrilled that Mr Postman dropped off my big-ass Umbrella Entertainment set of Richard Stanley's HARDWARE, to which I'm proud to have contributed an essay on unforgettable character actor William Hootkins

Suicide Squad-style mission for the dealers who sold to Matthew Perry

There was simply no better way to launch my Substack, Cool Here on the Outskirts, than with an appreciation of 1985's TUFF TURF. I'll be revisiting a bunch of '85 movies throughout '25, so if you recognise that year as the cinematic apex it is, do the like and subscribe!

This is basically what C-3PO did in the original Star Wars movies and everyone was constantly telling him to shut the fuck up

Harris ain't bullshittin'. This'll raise the hairs on the back of your neck and everywhere else

Because I'm an underemployed writer, I'm launching a Substack this week. This is the first thing I'm writing about

On the prowl for a good interview with WOLF MAN's writer-director @conanthecontrarian.bsky.social? Look no further.

Aw, fuck. Hang it up

Mild-mannered hitman William H. Macy, steered into the assassination business by coldblooded dad Donald Sutherland, starts suffering anxiety and resolves to change his life. Muted, insightful, heartbreaking.

Had a great catch-up with the Umbrella Entertainment crew and snapped up my contributor copy of the Full Moon Frightbox, to which I contributed essays on my areas of interest: Albert Pyun, Tracy Scoggins and David Goyer!

AD-ROCK: Yo Ebenezer you gotta show re- BEASTIES: MORSE AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of Beasties: COURSE MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy BEASTIES: MOOCHER MCA: We’re Christmas Past MIKE D: Christmas Present BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE

Here is a Christmas gift months in the making: an RF rip of the greatest magic special in history. Ricky Jay and His 52 Assistants, directed by David Mamet, never released on home video, sourced from an internal HBO Production tape sourced by @pulsingcinema.bsky.social: archive.org/details/rick...

people who say “why do we need [fine arts, humanities degrees, mid-budget films] when they don’t make a ton of money?” are insufferable. why do we need chrysanthemums? why do we need bonfires or baleen whales or the color blue? we just do. we just do.

I'm at @theverge.com today talking about digital decay, link rot, watching my work slowly being erased from the internet, and how it makes me feel like I am fading away.