Happy 4th of July, 250. G-d bless America. I don't have to love the people who run it to love my nation. My family has fought for it, and through the Pilgrims sent by Pastor Robinson, my family is partly responsible for it. Bless the natives who were here.

your team is losing 8-0 and you think the public is booing the coach because they're racist?

Penumbras of bullshit

My Mom when I tell her the animal video she sent me is AI

And/or we could focus on getting Congress to actually do its job. We’re focusing on fixing the seatbelts instead of the asking why the driver is drunk.

Kale is garnish. Fuck the haters.

When nearly every SCOTUS decision “falls along ideological lines,” there is no justice.

The 5 Horror workweek

I told her I wanted to seize the means of production. 9 months later, my tax bracket changed.

-- Sun Tzu, The App of War

He is draining the swamp. Florida and D.C. are heavy with marshland. Hes draining them of money.

Happy Father's Day 🖤

My nine year old asked for a Rosetta Stone cake for his birthday

important 🚨

Who needs nukes when you have a "hold global energy economy hostage"-switch?

The pool was refurbished by Greenwater Services. I tap. Fuck this.

Isnt goimg green woke?

the sea people are coming

Anyone else find it hysterical that the "neo-Cyrus" got his tuckus handed to him by Iran?

The only way I would ask an LLM anything is if it answered in a way that sounded like a civil war solider's letter home.

A Gastronaut. The Right Stuffing.

So, uh, will he wear a wreath? Does he have a pair of thumb-erected hulk hands to render final judgment from his box?

Did you see the sign today about hobbies?

It’s a public facing volatile job and if fear of reprisal stops elected officials from doing that job we should elect people willing to make the sacrifices necessary for our country to survive. Otherwise we’re all going to the work camps.

Scoring in the Knicks of time Im leaving. Im leaving.

The reason there are bodega cats is there are so many rats and vermin in NYC.

Yeah, so, enough. Common sense.

Im really get tired of "perfect" as a response to things. No, it isnt. Stop. Sounds stupid.

I miss when every election didn’t seem like the trolley problem.

Again, fuck Matt Taibbi

Google is so borked

the brain is an amazing system of electrically charged fat 🫠

Who knew the Troubles would come to America and involve mostly one side against itself?

Stunts furred

I want Wuthering Hutts.

It was the breast of times, it was the wurst of times. Sir, do you want the sandwhich or the dog?

She was the Ophelia of the masses...

look at their actions, never their words They've proven repeatedly their words aren't worth anything.

Are you guys trepanning your staff or something

Look, man, its literally stupid not to ask why the hell all this shit isnt being actively, not talk but active, been resisted by our representatives. Dont come on MSBNC. We know you are full of shit. You can act. You dont. We see it. Fuck off with your excuses. Fuck off with asking people to vote.

Birth rate mfers never want to actually implement policy that would make it easier to have children, they just want the mines to have full employment so line keep going up.

Dear dumbass copers: call someone in power dumb all you want, but its like calling your jailor ugly: it makes you feel slightly better as you are ground further into the dirt. You want dumb? Thats the real dumb.

and if they're fighting over five cubes, it's yet another yahtzee session turned violent brawl!

This brings to mind how often people share fake posts on social media that "feel right", even when they're called out for spreading disinformation. We're in a place now where information and discourse has more to do with in-group signaling than it does with objective reality.

i love to think with my brain

Life is difficult. There are no simple answers to most things. People are lazy, stupid, ignorant, or too busy. Anyone offering simple solutions is a manipulative liar or a fool of the highest order. We are in an existential moment. Anyone not acting, not just talking, that way is no leader.

more like unzipping your pants and inserting a lit stick of dynamite to pretend it’s an erection