I’m tired of meeting people the old fashioned way can one of my ancestors conspire with someone else’s ancestor and send me and some nice woman the same coded dream message to meet at a specific place at a specific time and then let us get freaked out by the matching dreams

I’m sorry it’s been hours and I’m still periodically laughing at this

Gave him a prostate orgasm, it was a cum from behind victory, if you will.

Productive evening! Things I learned: 1. My turntable needs to be adjusted because it plays a half step sharp. 2. While Crack The Skye by Mastodon sounds better that way, I need to manually place the needle down on it, if I hit “start” it skips the first eight seconds 3. My headphones are broken

Washington State residents: they’re trying to pull online age verification bullshittery here too. This bill would require people to upload their ID/credit card to view online adult content. You can complain to your reps here: app.leg.wa.gov/pbc/bill/2112

🎶Thank God you’re gone I needed the space Tired of hearin your voice And lookin at your face I packed your bags Threw em on the lawn My prayers have been answered Thank God you’re gone🎶

A fun thing I’ve noticed is that “seeking cuties to smooch” type folx do NOT like me

My 20yo coworker who says everything is tuff and lowkey goated says I need to watch Marty Supreme

We've removed the paywall from this guide so everyone can access it. 👇 Stay safe.

It must be so fun having the sort of smooth brain that makes you comment “NO [band member who died] NO [band they were in]” any time someone else in the band so much as posts a picture of their shoes

You’re telling me it’s better to jack off all trade?

Weird question, but does anyone know a hand surgeon? (For journalism purposes.)

"get [verb]'d, idiot" gotta be one of the best memetic phrases out there

me to so many people on this site

This is a vetted fundraiser for the family of Renee Good, the woman who was killed by ICE in Minneapolis. www.gofundme.com/f/support-fo...

For my newsletter this morning, I called for a ban on Grok after X, the child porn app formerly known as Twitter, started removing the clothes of women and girls in photos posted on the site. www.burnsnotice.com/grok-the-chi...

It’s not healthy to have this much anger and hatred all the time but what other options are we given

FUCK ICE

I wanted to see about getting something engraved onto a little charm to wear on a necklace and I’m concerned about just how many Etsy listings for it are under $5

Welcome to Lee Carvallo's Sewing Challenge. I am Carvallo. Now, choose a shirt tightness. I suggest reasonable breathing room. (Beep, beep, beep) You have entered "manwhorishly tight".

I’m hot

I have a long way to go and not a lot of time off work

Deleted Tinder

I have two spots open for hand embroidery commissions! I am a bit in need of cash at the moment, so a reminder that I also do payment plans

I hope your autistic hyperfixations never land on an artist or musician who has very recently died because that shit sucks and it WILL turn you into G-d’s strongest, most insufferable soldier

You’ve heard it here first, folks *farts*

Was thinking about throwing some kind of Palentine’s thing since Valentine’s Day is on a Saturday this year but then I thought about it and realized that like 95% of my friends up here are in relationships so they’ll all be spending the day the old fashioned way

I’ve always wondered if this album cover was in Ari Aster’s head as he was developing Midsommar. Even the lighting/staging feels Aster-esque, which I can’t really describe because I don’t know the technical terms, but hopefully I’m not alone?

It’s funny how many female celebrities and girl peers I had crushes on as a kid ended up being lesbians, and that radar would rock if not for the fact that I ended up being a guy and therefore no longer of interest to any of them

I was borrowing it from my library and they wouldn’t let me renew it so I had to go way beyond the due date and risk a big fine so I just went and ordered a new copy online. I need to queen out with Ishmael so badly

If you’re at High On Fire tonight just look for the short hot guy in the leather jacket and the Crack The Skye shirt who is basically standing around like this

There has got to be a way we can take care of each other without enriching the most evil assholes around

NP: noise rock / doom metal from franceeee

Buckingham Nicks? I’m too busy Suckingtham Tits

Last.FM made their own version of the year end wrap up chart, which is more accurate for me because most of my music listening is on my iPod. Frankly, lol, lmao, lmfao bit.ly/LFMPB25

Energy I’m bringing into 2026 so far

Trying to keep a list kept me from really being in the present for a lot of releases this year, but this one has been the #1 for me since it came out. If you’ve ever had a loved one die this record will rip your guts out. I’m glad Alan Sparhawk is still alive. I’m glad you’re still alive, too.

ATTENTION SOUTH FLORIDA: One of my best friends is opening a new record store in Fort Lauderdale in 2026. Keep your eyes peeled and support a friend!

Heartwarming: Having an extremely intense Mastodon hyperfixation following Brent Hinds’s death could not dethrone Superunknown as the record I listened to the most in 2025 🧡

Surely anything done between December 26-31 doesn’t affect my place on the naughty/nice list for Christmas 2026

When I went to Seattle to find housing and a job, I parked my rental car and saw Stone Gossard of Pearl Jam across the street. I walked right up to him and said “Is this where I pay for my parking?” He looked at me and said “No, there’s a pay machine over there that you would use.” I thanked him.

They sure fuckin are, buddy

I don’t think even the promise of telekinesis could make me feel better about my job being “high school student” again 😫

Getting the attention of the man you selected in a comphet episode

This account is a Scott Kelly Of Neurosis Death Watch account, I will not do anything to hasten it but I am definitely going to embarrass myself in glee

Two different AI generated commercials in a row I’m TIRED of this, grandpa